Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JJJ, Sep 10, 2010.
I didn't want your introduction to get lost...
How old is your son? Please share a little more of your story with us.
You have come to the most judgment free corner of the internet. We have all been there. There are quite a few of us who have one or more children living outside our home for safety and/or therapeutic reasons. Some members have had a child placed outside their home and make enough progress to return home safely.
My oldest daughter has not lived with us since Dec 2007. She spent 3 months in the psychiatric hospital and then she was here for 2 months (but I moved out with the younger kids). And she has been in a series of RTCs since then with no hope of coming home. She has crossed so many lines but multiple tdocs and psychiatrists have told us that she would have crossed those lines regardless of where she lived and that it is safer for everyone that she is surrounded by staff and away from the younger children when it happens.
There you go. See how we team up to make sure you do't get missed?
Adding my welcome, AngelPhoenix!
Welcome-sorry things are so rough right now and that you needed to find us but glad you did find us since there is a need. Hugs.
What do all these descriptions of ppl mean at the bottom? how do I become friends?
I SOOO need a familiar person to help explain how to use this site. Don't know what tags I'm allowed to use, how to navagate to what I'm looking for and every time I try a search there are hundreds of posts to look through that have nothing to do with what I'm searching! Really need help and so lost. Can you even make "friends" with someone here? How do I join groups? I am so limited.
JJJ helped repost my intro but that was actually a reply to someone else. I would love to post an intro but on my homepage it limited the characters. HELP please.
You can make friends here but I don't know how it works. Sorry.
I also need to apologise here and now to the four people who have friend requests pending with me - I don't know how to do it and I will have to decline but it's not personal. To me, everyone on this site is a friend.
Angel, what I did when I first came to this site, was just wandered trough the forums looking mostly at current threads. I focussed on the stuff that seemed closest to my own problems, gleaning what advice form them that I could. I milked it all for the wisdom that was relevant and ignored the rest. I soon found the occasional thread where I felt I had even a tiny titbit to offer, although I felt like a total novice in so many other ways.
To begin your own thread, use this forum. It sounds like you could be trying to post via another forum such as Facebook? I could be way off base here, I did say I'm a novice here at that sort of social networking. But how it works for me - I go to the Quick Navigation bar just above and to the right of "reply to thread" at the bottom of the page. Navigate to the man forum page. At the top of the main forum page you will find "Post New Thread" in the top right, above all the posts. Click on that (after you have logged in, of course) and then off you go.
As for what to say - strong recommendation (which you seem to be already following) - keep it anonymous. "difficult child" means "Gift From God", the child that brought you here. As you will see from my sig, it is possible to have more than one. A lot of us say "difficult child" through gritted teeth sometimes. Other abbreviations are fairly standard - "diagnosis" means "diagnosis"; "therapist" means "therapist"; "psychiatrist" means "psychiatrist or psychologist" and so on. But if you don't get the abbreviations, you don't have to use them. Although I found the link with abbreviations fairly early on, I still needed translations for a while. Also, because I'm an Aussie and most people on this site are Yanks (including any Southerners - sorry!) there are cultural differences. I got my knuckles rapped a lot to begin with, because colourful Aussie slang which is not at all offensive here, can be very offensive to those living in the US (better? OK, maybe preferable to Yank). Similarly, some of the language used freely here is offensive language in Australia (although less so). I'm currently reading a very interesting book by an Aussie comedian describing a talk she gave in the US, warning them of her colourful language - "It's because your country was first settled by Puritans, while ours was settled by convicts. Your founding fathers celebrated by kneeling in prayer; ours had an orgy on the beach."
When you try to send a PM or other message on your site home page, it DOES limit characters (drives me nuts!). It also restricts who you send it to. When you post a thread, it is seen by everybody (another important reason to keep it anonymous - ex-spouses, ex-doctors and current Dept of Ed officials that you want to vent about, need to NOT find you here and know it's you!).
Another trick I use, is to open multiple pages. That way if I need to, I can be reading someone else's thread while starting a new thread of my own. For example, we often (in the General forum) start a new thread just to say "Good Morning..." (whatever day it is). I learned early on, that I need to keep it to morning wherever the site happens to be located. As husband puts in his email tags, "The world can't end today because it is always tomorrow in Australia". September 11 2001 was viewed live on Aussie television on Sept 12 2001. So generally it is in the late evening when I am posting on the good morning thread for that day. it also means I'm often posting, while everyone else is home in bed.
Back to the morning thread - I'll often start the thread (as long as it's after midnight according to the site clock) and then refresh the General page before I actually "submit new thread". Too often, two people can be submitting a good morning thread at the same time, and we get a double-up. The moderators will fix it, but it's a nuisance.
There can be a few glitches here and there - currently, I can't edit my posts. I don't know why. I admit, I haven't bothered to ask.
I think you're talking about the sig. For example, mine lists my kids, my husband, myself, describes our location as a sort of island... You can do this on your site's "My Profile" right next to the log-in point). Just to the right of "My Profile" is "settings". Click on that then scroll down. Look on the left. Go to "Edit Profile" "Edit Avatar" and "Edit Signature" if you want to make any changes there. Again, there are character limits.
You can also ask the moderators for help. If you can't get through any other way, post here. We'll find a way to get you started. By "we" I mean people on this site. I'm not a moderator, just another person like you.
THANK YOU so much for your assistance. I am a "Yank" but also live in the south. If you ever get to figure out the "friends" thing please add me. I am never offended by culturaly differences. All of us are here because we live with, know or are different than "sociaty" standards. you were very helpful in the basics, i'm still confused but that only because there is alot to figure out here. I will try the sig part, we'll see if it works. when/if you get this, if you subscribed to this thread please click on my name above my icon and click on add contact, hopefully I can figure out my end if there is anything to do. Here's hoping anyway.
Hi Angelphoenix11 and welcome.
This forum for newbies helps tremendously and you can go back to it as a resource when confused.
Separate names with a comma.