Welcome Gwen84

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by slsh, Mar 9, 2011.

  1. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Hi Gwen - and welcome to the board. I'm copying your post from another thread so that the members get a chance to give you a proper welcome! ;)

    We have the same problem with my stepson. When I moved in with my fiance 4 years ago, he was a hardheaded little boy, but he was not doing anything like what he is doing now. Is biggest problem lately has been stealing. I have to check his room on almost a daily basis. Today I found his father's tobacco, two of his father's cigarettes, and his father's pocket knife. He has actually stolen my makeup and my 5 year olds earrings. I don't understand this stealing problem at all. Our situations are similar except that his father backs me up on any decisions that I make as far as discipline. He actually will add to the punishment if he feels it is not harsh enough. We are going to get locks for all of our other children's doors and for ours. Another difference is that, even when the objects are found hidden under his mattress, he denies taking them. But he also will not tell us why. He either stares at us or says he doesn't know why. I do understand your frustration with the stealing. It is horrible when you feel like you have to keep your things locked up or hidden in your own home. As far as being able to give advice or punishment ideas, I can't. We are completely lost on what to do with him. He sees a psychologist once a week and will begin seeing a psychiatrist soon. His pediatrician has put him on medication for ADHD and ODD, we have sent him to a behavioral health center for three weeks, we have tried taking things away, we have even threatened to take him to a juvenile detention center for a weekend, but nothing works. He is currently in alternative school due to his inability to control his anger, but not even that seems to be phasing him.
  2. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi Gwen! Welcome to the crowd - it's a great group here - lots of experience and lots of shoulders to lean on.

    Has he had a full neuropsychologist done? I would highly recommend one. It's a bunch of testing done that will direct you toward a diagnosis. Many of us on here consider an ADHD/ODD diagnosis to be more symptomology rather than a pure diagnosis.

    There could be a million things pushing him toward his behaviors that even HE can't identify, so the testing would "unmuddy" the waters a little.

    How was his early development?
    Is there mental illness/drug abuse (bio mom during pregnancy?)
    Ever notice any type of over-reaction to sensory based stimuli (I call it "itchy tag" syndrome) you know, when you have to cut the tags out of their shirts, certain textures, sounds, etc.?
    Has he been tested by an allergist (a lot of these problems can stem from food allergies)?
    Is he an authority on any certain subject?

    Sorry for all the probing questions, but they'll help us help you head down the right direction. Have you read "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene? There are some good suggestions in there...and it's a light read so you're not stuck with a bunch of buzz words!

    Again, welcome to the crowd -

  3. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Welcome Gwen!!!

    I know the feelings you are going through. And being a stepmom, the helplessness is so frustrating!!!

    I, too, suggest you read The Explosive Child. It helped with Onyxx - not totally, but some - and the neuropsychologist - which got us started on a direction with Jett.

    Hugs, hon - and GOOD LUCK! Keep coming back. You'll pick up bits and pieces here and there that will keep you sane!
  4. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    Welcome Gwen84. I look forward to getting to know you.

    You've landed in a great place!