Welcome Janna57

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by janna57, Apr 25, 2010.

  1. janna57

    janna57 Guest

    Welcome Janna! As Marg suggested, I've copied your post into its own thread so that it doesn't get lost in the responses to the original Post.

    Again, welcome! It's a great group here with a LOT of experience!


    Hi. This is my first post, and this sounds like my 3 yo gs. He is totally different with my daughter and I. He listens to his with no problem. He is an angel at daycare and even shy. My daughter lives with me, and she has 50/50 custody of my gs. The parents alternate custody every other week. Although, my daughter is planning on filing for primary custody, soon. We both agree that he needs more stability.

    He can be so sweet and loving and the most adorable child. But, can turn quickly into an evil twin. He will throw things when he is frustrated. He has hit me and his mom. He tries to be bossy. Actually, he kinda does rule this household. I am very concerned about him. My daughter did take him for an evaluation. They did offer a wrap around, who would be with him most of the day. However, he is an angel at daycare. He has no problem listening to others. I realize that is normal kid behavior, as my kids did that, too. However, it is the rage in him that scares me. I am scared that this will escalate if she does not try to nip this in the bud. She seems to be procrastinating on this now. She gets upset when I talk to her about it.

    Distraction is about the best method that we can use with him. By diverting his attention to something else when he is ready to escalate. However, we can not always distract him so easy.

    Sometimes the thought of autism spectrum disorder enters my mind. He is obssessed with cars, and always acts like he is fixing the tires. He loves to take the wheels off the cars. But, he is affectionate, so that conflicts with the autism theory.

    He has a lot of chaos in his early life. His parents fought constantly in front of him. His father was actually violent towards his mother. Also, his dad sorta kidnapped him at the age of 22 months, when there was no legal agreement. My daughter had full physical custody of him until the custody was decided by the judge when they both fought over custody of him. His father had him for three weeks. During that time, he had no contact with his mom. (long story, but the father kept him from my daughter)

    Fortunately, they are no longer in a relationship, together. They broke up several months ago.

    So, his dad has anger issues.(with women) My daughter is in recovery for drug addiction. However, she was in active opiate addiction during her pregnancy. She was prescribed methadone towards the end of her pregnancy.(when she finally admitted to drug abuse, her ob dr. agreed this was the best plan)

    I believe there is cause for concern. I believe that my daughter's main fear of pursuing this further is that she may be to blame for his behavior. She believes that she may have caused brain damage by abusing opiates while she was pregnant. I keep telling her that whatever it is, we need to address it. Well, I say "we" because she is a single mom, and I have been there helping to raise my grandson since he was born. And, trust me, he is a handful. And, I love him, adore him, and he is about the most important priority in my life.
    Lasted edited by : Jun 14, 2010