Welcome luvshihtzu

[slsh]

Hi Sharon and welcome! I'm copying your post to a new thread to make sure it's seen by all!

Hello, sorry, I've never been on a site like this before and happened to stumble on it. I have no idea how this works, but I've been looking for advice about my son for so long. I don't know what "difficult child" or any of the abbreviations mean. Am I in the right room?
Anyway, my son is 16 and has been a big problem his whole life. We know there is something wrong with him, but he has only been diagnosed with ODD. It seems like more than that. I'll write more about him if I find out I'm doing this right.
Thanks so much!

Sharon/Lancaster CA

If you go down to the bottom right part of the screen to "forum jump" and then go to the FAQ board, you'll find information on how to fill out a signature and also a listing of our abbreviations. difficult child means "gift from God", the child whose challenging behaviors brought us here.

Again, welcome! We look forward to getting to know you.

 

[susiestar]

Welcome!!! Glad you found us, but so sorry you need us. We are a group of parents with kids who have mental illness and/or behavior disorders or neurological disorders. Some of us have kids with bipolar, or on the Autistic Spectrum, or any one (or three) of a wide range of disorders.

We can offer support and caring to you, as well as what has worked or not worked for each of our situations.

(((hugs)))

Susie

 

[Wiped Out]

Welcome Sharon,
Glad you found us, you will find much support here. You are not alone.

 

[luvshihtzu]

Hi all, thanks for the welcome. I've always needed a support group. I've felt desparate with Aaron for so long. We knew something was wrong before he was even 2, with his rages. He got in a lot of trouble in elem. school for acting out. We had him hospitalized 2 wks when he was 8 as he had threatened to kill a girl at school. Also threatened to kill us when he grew up. Threw things, raged, etc. After the hospital. he was still doing bad so I started him with a child psychiatric. She said he was ODD and put him on medications. This ended the violence and threats, but the ODD is incredible. He's never listened to a word we've said (me, my husband, my ex) and has mouthed off at many other adults. School meetings are always embarrassing, including one this week. He tells people just what he's thinking (i.e. just told his teacher he was blowing off his class) and then argues "I'm supposed to tell the truth, right?" and has never taken any blame for anything. Never once has he admitted saying or doing anything wrong, its always someone else's fault. Has done so many odd behaviors in his life. No empathy whatsoever, at least with us. Also mostly flat, monotone voice. No obsession with anything though, which is needed for Asperger's. No odd gait. He has a few friends, but has never been involved in anything. Anyway, that's for starters!
Thanks for listening!
Sharon

 

[TerryJ2]

Welcome Sharon, aka loveshihtzu. Any chance you can use a picture of your dog as your avatar?

 

[Feeling Helpless]

Hi Sharon and welcome. This site is a wonderful place especially when you feel there is no one who understands. I just got through reading your post and I could have swore you were talking about my difficult child who is 7. Just 2 weeks ago he got suspended because he threatened to kill a little boy at school and my difficult child also has no respect for anybody else and thinks everything is everybody elses fault. He has also threatend to kill us. He has meltdowns which are increasing in frequency. We are still trying to find out the correct diagnosis. He is going to start seeing a new counselor and has an appointment to see a psychiatrist. I want to at that point get an appointment to have a neuropsychologist evaluation done. Have you ever had one done for your difficult child? I am learning so much from this site. Also there are numerous books you can read. I do not think I can offer much advice to you since I am still new but since your difficult child is much older you only have a few years before he is an adult. You have certainly found the right place to get support and maybe some answers also. It was really eerie reading your post. I wanted to know when my difficult child moved into your house. I wish you all the best and hope you can get some answers as well as me. Again welcome and hope you keep posting.

 

[Nancy423]

I just wanted to say hi and welcome! I'm another newbie here. It's a great site we have here.

 

[luvshihtzu]

Hi Terry, ask and you shall receive! Here's a picture of my Shih Tzu, Buffy.

Sharon

 

[luvshihtzu]

Wow sounds like our kids could've been twins, Feeling Helpless! When Aaron was started on Lithium after the hospital, it took about 2 wks and every trace of violence vanished. He was on Lithium for around 5 yrs, with a couple other medications. I was afraid the violence would come back when he went off everything, but it didn't. The thing is now, he makes some disturbing statements. He wants to be a Marine, and he used to say he wanted to die for his country. Then he'd say he wanted to learn how to kill people, and when he came back from the Marines, if anyone messed with him he'd be able to kill them. He also makes some racist comments. I wasn't happy to hear any of this. But he loves to upset me, and he may have just been saying these things for that reason. I never know with him. He's also very disrespectful and very rude. No I haven't taken him to a neuropsychologist, but he's sure seen everyone else. I've read tons of books too.
OK I'm not sure if I'm just responding to Feeling Helpless or writing to the whole room, but thanks for welcoming me and writing to me, everyone!

Sharon

 

[BusynMember]

Why is he off the Lithium? Sounds like he is still kind of dangerous. I wouldn't want him off the medications. His threats to kill should be taken seriously. Sounds like (in my opinion only) perhaps he is bipolar with maybe other stuff too. Does he use any recreational drugs or drink?

 

[TerryJ2]

Luvshihtzu, I don't think you have to have a classic, odd gait to be an Aspie. The monotone voice and the "not caring about others" seems to fit the bill, though. Interesting that the lithium helped him. Maybe he's both?
I think he's way too old to be making threats like that. I'd have him see someone.

Feeling Helpless, our difficult child is into blaming others, too, and just recently in the past yr or so, with-a lot of therapy, has been accepting blame. His first choice is to blame others and to give people the runaround, but when it gets down to it, he will give in. It has taken a lot of training and repetition to get to this point. Don't give up! Make sure you find a therapist who connects with-your difficult child, and who isn't afraid to read him the riot act on occasion.

 

[KTMom91]

Welcome, Sharon!

Buffy is so cute!

 

[TerryJ2]

Oh, yes, I meant to say thank you for showing off Buffy!

 

[luvshihtzu]

Hi Mary, that's funny from your signature, I'm 45, stressed, overweight and on Paxil also! Thanks for the compliment on Buffy, we just got her this year. Your dog is really cute too!
To Midwest Mom, my difficult child loves to emotionally torture me by saying crazy things, seeing how I react, then saying "ha ha, Mom believed me!" So I never know when he's serious or not. I try hard not to react (and recently went off the pill because I was so emotional and crying often) but sometimes he's just too much. I told him they could use him to break down prisoners of war that they wanted info from.
I took him to several counseling sessions last yr but all he would say is "I don't know what you want me to say", to the counselor, or on one memorable occasion, he picked a spot on the wall and stared at it for the whole hour, not speaking. We gave that up.
And also, he really doesn't have mood swings to be BiPolar (BP). Not manic, not depressed. Just pretty much flat, or angry.