Hi Tired - wanted to start a new thread for you to be sure our members get a chance to meet you. I love your name! Hi- I'm new to this site too and have been reading these posts since it was such a relief to hear about kids like mine. I'm so tired of hearing what an angel he is at school, with grand-parents, etc., so his behavior at home must be my fault. That said, I'm at the beginning of my process to get help, too. His behavior actually is escalating (more violent toward me & sibs, threats to himself & others, refusal to go to school or daycare, etc) on top of his "normal" inattentiveness and negativity, so I'm looking for the best way to deal. Last year, I took the kids out to get costumes (thinking it would be a fun treat, isn't this the stuff we're all supposed to enjoy?), and it turned into a big meltdown when my (then 5-yr old) couldn't find the one he wanted in his size and we "rushed" him. We were there over an hour and he spent most of the time running around looking at "cool" things rather than costumes, despite many attempts to re-direct. He really wanted a costume that had a sword, but because I said he couldn't have the violent toy, he threw a big fit about how that was the only one he wanted and I ruin everything. Once again, the family piled in the car aggravated, no costumes in hand. This year, I tried to avoid this by asking him what he wanted to be for halloween this year. I asked him to give me two ideas and that I would pick something up. He seems ok with this since I told him that way I could look at the "cool" stores for his costumes when I'm nearby, By the way, maybe my anger is misplaced, but I have grown to hate video games & computer games. We've had more Club Penguin fights than I can count. He only may play these now as a reward on weekends, but it doesn't stop him from talking about them constantly. Just wondering if you can relate>>> I think you're handling the costume thing perfectly this year. My difficult child always had trouble making choices and it would usually precipitate a meltdown. Great job coming up with a solution! Video games... worst invention in the history of mankind, in my humble opinion. When my difficult child was 5, grandparents bought him one of the first versions of Gameboy (thanks, Dad!). Pretty soon, the only subjects of conversation with- difficult child was either Mario and Luigi or Pokemon. Hindsight being 20/20, I should have really limited his access to the games. He has trouble holding on to reality and video game worlds I think made it that much worse. What I did though was played the games myself so I would at least be able to communicate with him, LOL. There's a fine line - my youngest son is also an avid gamer but he can hold a conversation that doesn't have something to do with- Final Fantasy - in fact, I'm not real sure what games he plays. With my difficult child, it was *all* about the games, to the exclusion of anything else. Anyway - welcome and glad you found us!