Welcome sickofbeingtired

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by slsh, Sep 27, 2009.

  1. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Hi Tired - wanted to start a new thread for you to be sure our members get a chance to meet you. ;) I love your name!

    I'm new to this site too and have been reading these posts since it was such a relief to hear about kids like mine. I'm so tired of hearing what an angel he is at school, with grand-parents, etc., so his behavior at home must be my fault. That said, I'm at the beginning of my process to get help, too. His behavior actually is escalating (more violent toward me & sibs, threats to himself & others, refusal to go to school or daycare, etc) on top of his "normal" inattentiveness and negativity, so I'm looking for the best way to deal.

    Last year, I took the kids out to get costumes (thinking it would be a fun treat, isn't this the stuff we're all supposed to enjoy?), and it turned into a big meltdown when my (then 5-yr old) couldn't find the one he wanted in his size and we "rushed" him. We were there over an hour and he spent most of the time running around looking at "cool" things rather than costumes, despite many attempts to re-direct. He really wanted a costume that had a sword, but because I said he couldn't have the violent toy, he threw a big fit about how that was the only one he wanted and I ruin everything. Once again, the family piled in the car aggravated, no costumes in hand.

    This year, I tried to avoid this by asking him what he wanted to be for halloween this year. I asked him to give me two ideas and that I would pick something up. He seems ok with this since I told him that way I could look at the "cool" stores for his costumes when I'm nearby,

    By the way, maybe my anger is misplaced, but I have grown to hate video games & computer games. We've had more Club Penguin fights than I can count. He only may play these now as a reward on weekends, but it doesn't stop him from talking about them constantly. Just wondering if you can relate>>>

    I think you're handling the costume thing perfectly this year. My difficult child always had trouble making choices and it would usually precipitate a meltdown. Great job coming up with a solution!

    Video games... worst invention in the history of mankind, in my humble opinion. When my difficult child was 5, grandparents bought him one of the first versions of Gameboy (thanks, Dad!). Pretty soon, the only subjects of conversation with- difficult child was either Mario and Luigi or Pokemon. Hindsight being 20/20, I should have really limited his access to the games. He has trouble holding on to reality and video game worlds I think made it that much worse. What I did though was played the games myself so I would at least be able to communicate with him, LOL. There's a fine line - my youngest son is also an avid gamer but he can hold a conversation that doesn't have something to do with- Final Fantasy - in fact, I'm not real sure what games he plays. With my difficult child, it was *all* about the games, to the exclusion of anything else.

    Anyway - welcome and glad you found us!
  2. rlsnights

    rlsnights New Member

    Welcome to the board.

    It's good that you're seeking outside help. Don't let them tell you it's "bad" parenting - or inconsistent parenting or whatever. Move on to another therapist or psychiatrist or whatever until you find one that will really listen to you.

    In the meantime, you might want to start doing a journal or mood chart to share with the professionals when you get to that point. It can be very helpful.

    you can find a lot of choices for mood charts by doing a google search. Some are available online and others you can download to print.

    Best wishes and glad you found the board
  3. sickofbeingtired

    sickofbeingtired New Member

    Thanks, rls & slsh! Hate to admit it, but "Santa" actually made the mistake of getting difficult child a Nintendo DS last year. Hindsight is 20/20. Never imagine I'd have rules like, "no computer talk during dinner," but here I am. Saw on the APA site (which someone on here referred me to, thanks!), that all video games should be prohibited as they are not great for any kid and can be worse for kids with certain disorders. Maybe I'm justifying this for my own sanity, but I can't imagine imposing a total prohibition. difficult child is 6 and has talked for a year about being a programmer when he grows up. Picking my battles & just sticking to the limited video time for now...