Hi and welcome! I'm copying your post to a new thread so that our members have an opportunity to welcome you and make suggestions. I am facing this very same decision. I stand in for my mother when I'm not in college to help her take care of her son from another marriage. The child is clearly bi-polar, but doctors have never wanted to see him because they don't like diagnosing bi-polar so young. He is now sixteen, and has become a nightmare. I know for a fact that he is drinking and smoking, and that he has been sleeping with several girls, one of which he was trying to get pregnant. He's been very violent in the past, but after threatening him with authorities, he became smarter about how he operates. Now he uses intimidation. Throwing something very hard, but making it hit the wall just next to you. Shoving and pushing, but no fist blows that would leave marks. He's horrible to his twin sister, calling her things that I won't even repeat here, and shoving her around when he's irritated with her. Sometimes she'll just be standing in the kitchen, doing nothing to him, but because she was there cooking first, he comes in and shoves her hard into the stove. He's stolen from all three of us (Mom, sister, and myself) and barges into anyones room and takes what he wants, sometimes right in front of us. Then we take him in to be evaluated, and he is just as pleasant and wonderful as can be. All smiles, all cooperation. He just tells them that we're lying and over-reacting because we're women and too emotional. The problem is that he's bad, he makes life miserable. What I've written here doesn't even begin to skim the surface of who he is. But, apparently, he's not quite bad enough. He hasn't commited any serious crimes (yet) hasn't left any recent marks on us, and I'm worried that if we try to take action, he's just going to lie his way out of it. There isn't a single day that goes by without some giant blowout, and all three of us for the most part hide from him now out of fear. Sister stays at school as late as she can and goes straight to her room when she gets home, mom and I hide away in the basement and hope he doesn't barge his way down. We are so financially strapped, and struggling as it is, but there has to be something out there that can help us. Mom has finally agreed that if handing him over to the state is possible, that might be the road we have to take now. I'm not so sure if that's even an option though. Any help is very appreciated.