Well, difficult child is supposedly en route to California

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by PatriotsGirl, Mar 3, 2011.

  1. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Yup. She said she needed a change of scenery and to get away from the dope scene. I told her she could have done that here and she said, no, no she couldn't. She has a friend out there that is supposedly letting her stay with them. She called me yesterday and told me they were in Texas. (She is supposedly driving with two friends that was going to see one of their family members).

    I say supposedly, because come on, we know we cannot believe everything these difficult child's say. But, she has never lied about a location. She was supposed to go to Alabama last week with this "boyfriend" but then they broke up and that is when she decided she was going to go to California for a while. It's always some kind of drama, isn't it?

    I have seen calls to and from a number in Beverly Hills. She is on the run, though. She still has a warrant for her arrest. She thinks probation will just "go away". She also told me how people have been letting her borrow their cars (um, hello, no license!!). So, I believe it is just a matter of time before difficult child gets picked up....

    (Need an eye ball rolling face here....lol)
  2. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I love how they think because they aren't where they are supposed to be all their problems, like probation, will just go away. Try to think of it as a little vacation for yourself while she is away. I'm sure it won't last long.....
  3. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    The magical thinking of our difficult children is baffling to me. Sheesh! When I first started reading your post, I thought "well, maybe a fresh start is what she needs" ...until I got to the part about the warrant and no license. I wish I had words of wisdom for you ...just support.
  4. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    I did tell her no making friends with Lindsay Lohan or Charlie Sheen. They are bad influences.
  5. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    {{{Hugs}}} I don't have any advice. Just wanted to add my support. Do you have any idea who this friend is? I hope it's not someone she met on-line. I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. {{{Hugs}}}
  6. elizabrary

    elizabrary Member

    I'm sorry. I know it's hard when you don't really know where they are, as that has been the case with my daughter for the last couple of months. The only positive for me has been the insanity has not been right up in my face all the time, so it's been a bit of a break on the one hand. But on the other hand there's just a constant, nagging worry hanging over me. Keep your head up and do something nice for yourself (like eat cake for dinner!).
  7. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    If, and that is a big if, she was telling me the truth, yes I know him - old friend of hers from a while back. Haven't seen him in a long time and if he is in California, that woud explain it. He supposedly lives with his girlfriend and said difficult child could stay with them. I told her I hoped she knew what she was doing and she admitted she doesn't and never has. At least she is honest. My fear is she will end up homeless across the country and there isn't anything I can do about it.

    I suppose I could look at it this way - it is definitely an adventure for her....
  8. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    Hugs PatriotsGirl. Like you said, hopefully she stays far away from charlie and lindsay ...
  9. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well lI guess that's one way to detach, there isn't much you can do so far away. I'm so sorry. Isn't it funny how they are best friends with someone one day and the next day they have nothing to do with them? I know you will worry.


    I hope this distance helps her
  10. rlsnights

    rlsnights New Member

    If you think she's going to be homeless California is probably a better place to be than most states. San Francisco is a homeless person's dream come true. I know because that's where difficult child 1 settled down. He's been homeless at least 5 times there and always got space in a shelter if he wanted it, there's a comprehensive net of emergency services including - get this - roving social workers who are assigned to a homeless person who wants their help to get a place. The social worker spends up to 18 months working with a client and can get them into subsidized housing when it's available.

    There's a bunch of recovery programs including a couple specifically for dual-diagnosed persons and the county hospital ER has it's own case managers who work with people who come in to ER needing housing or other social services.

    NY may have the Statue of Liberty but the tired and the poor go to San Francisco if they think they're going to be homeless:liberty:
  11. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    She is going to Long Beach.....near LA.......ugh.

    I told her if she stays there for any length of time, I may just have to come out and spend a week visiting.....the beach sounds real good right about now..... :)
  12. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    PG -

    I was thinking back to the runaway hippy days of the Asbury-Haight, and how awful that was. So rlsnights is right -SanFran would be a mecca of help because of what came out of that! However if her probation is like Dudes? SC is not going to extradite him so as long as he keeps his nose clean elsewhere? He's 'okay'. Even the police where he is at have told him that. Actually he went and spoke with them, because he wanted to sleep at night. (Okay I'm amazed). The sad thing is if he does come here? He will be arrested no matter how much good he does or how long he ever cleans up his act. We've encouraged him to get a criminal lawyer but short of hitting a lotto? $30k later isn't happening any time soon.

    I will say one thing for living so many states away with no support? It wasn't what he thought it would be, and he's grown up a LOT. He thought Daddy Disney would be there to help. Nah. daughter has been a burden. Go figure. He HAS however, figured out who he CAN depend on, and how much fun it was dumpster diving for food, and what happens when there is no one to take you home from the hospital, or get your medicine, or care for you, and feed you, wash your clothes, - the basics? And now? I get calls just thanking me and DF for the most simple things.

    I'll take it -

    I hope you get it.
  13. KFld

    KFld New Member

    At least it's warm in California. I keep thinking it will be much easier to detatch from my difficult child when he gets his license back and it warms up a little, then the thought of him sleeping in his car might not keep me awake at night.
  14. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Go figure - Intervention just wrote me and were interested in her story. :( Could the timing have been any worse??
  15. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Maybe they could intervene her fanny back where she belongs? lol

    Well, like someone else said.........at least the weather is decent out there.

  16. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    PG, I was thinking a similar thing to Hound Dog. Maybe Intervention could track her down as part of their show?
  17. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    I wrote back and told them how she left on Tuesday for a road trip to California and if there was anything else I could do since I couldn't get a video together. I told difficult child how a documentary contacted me last night (said they found me through my blog) and wanted her for it - she was very intrigued of course and wants to know more about it when I can talk later....

    difficult child called me from Nevada this morning and sent me a picture of herself last night. She looks good. She looks happy. She said her friend networked and got her an interview lined up next week for a magazine company. Again, no clue whether to believe her or not, but she is definitely out on the west coast now. I hope this will be good for her. If anything, it is one heck of an adventure! She is truly a gypsy.....always has been.....
  18. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    I remember when difficult child decided to move to Tennessee to a sober living hotel - leaving with one of his friends who was more out in left field than he was at the time. He made it a few months, then came home. At the time there were board members offering their support if there was an emergency all along his route LOL

    So in paying it forward, I only live about 35 minutes from Long Beach. If she needs some help let me know and I will do what I can.

    I remember at 17 my own run to San Francisco from PA in a car of hippies. Was so naive but found many kind people along the way with a helping hand and found my footing eventually.

  19. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Marcie...I remember Cheech's wanderings...lol. Ahhh the good old days!
  20. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Surprise, surprise. Found out she made the whole thing up. Pretty elaborate, too. One morning she called and told me she was in Nevada but they were staying away from the whole Vegas scene. She even told me she had an interview lined up with a magazine the following week, that her friend had set up.
    I was looking at the phone records and didn't see any California numbers, which is strange - I mean, wouldn't you call your friend and let them know you were there? Well she texted me that night and begged me to leave her voicemail mentioning that she was 19. Apparently, she lied about her age to the boyfriend and he was told by some one else. I refuse to lie for her and told her so the next morning. While we are texting back and forth, I ask her what she is doing up at 3:30 in the morning - she tells me it is 6:30 - busted. So I called our cell phone company and they confirmed she was still in Georgia. When I asked why she would lie like this, she claims she is waiting for the boyfriend to ask her to stay and that she may be pregnant. I don't believe that, but told her she cannot have a baby. With the meth she has been using, the baby would have serious health problems. My best friend's neice and nephew are deformed and have all sorts of issues because their parents were meth heads. Ugh.
    I told her to go to Planned Parenthood and get tested. I then told her my advice to her was to turn herself in to her probation officer, deal with her problems, get the help she needs and build a life for herself. I can't believe that she has the ability to still surprise me with her antics, but she does....