Brilliant! I hope he heard it.
Well, difficult child's have cajones thats for sure!
- Thread starter Jabberwockey
- Start date
Childofmine
one day at a time
Really, it's like he has me trained to walk on eggshells. I just so expect a confrontation that it makes me nauseous and a hate it.I should NOT have to feel this way about my son. That's actually one reason I changed the ringtone. It got to when my phone rang my stomach actually clenched...whether it was a good call from him or bad. (Most were bad, I admit.)
Last night after his call I actually said, "I just want this to go away. I want HIM to go away!" Then I felt all guilty. What kind of person says that about their kid? But really, a single call from him can put me in a bad mood for hours! It's so unfair to Jabber.
Lil, I see you growing in your ability to separate from your son. In the above, you can change every bit of what you wrote---your feelings---by your reaction---or lack of reaction---to him. It will be slow, and not perfect, and it will take a lot of work. Work like reading books, learning about detachment, learning 12-step methods (if you choose), meditation, finding solace in silence, and learning how to take care of yourself. This board is full of tools on many, many posts to help you learn how to do that.
Your feeling is natural---wanting it all to go away. Trust that feeling, and then, use that same energy to continue the hard work of detachment, stopping enabling and changing. You and your husband deserve a great life. Your son is going to have to figure out how to grow up. You've done your job already.
The more you can step away, the more your peace will come.
Warm hugs and prayers for your strength and courage to walk your own path on your own journey.
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
I have a good answer I say to my difficult child 37 who is still often whining about how "it's not fair"...everything from life, to especially HIS life, and he has the worst ex-wife on the planet (like he was a peach), and he just has the worse luck of anybody in the universe...blah blah blah.
Him: It's not fairrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Me: Life isn't fair.
Him: Don't say that. It ticks me off.
Me: It's true. Life isn't fair.
(Hangs up).
I get to end a pointless conversation that I didn't want to engage in anyway
I always have told my kids though that life isn't fair. The only one who doesn't seem to get that is 37 and he is already, well.....37!!!!!
Him: It's not fairrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Me: Life isn't fair.
Him: Don't say that. It ticks me off.
Me: It's true. Life isn't fair.
(Hangs up).
I get to end a pointless conversation that I didn't want to engage in anyway
I always have told my kids though that life isn't fair. The only one who doesn't seem to get that is 37 and he is already, well.....37!!!!!
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
Must be a difficult child trait. 37 will call ten times in a row, convinced I will answer if he calls enough, even if I'm in the shower and unable to answer with no intention of getting out when he can wait.
It drives my husband nuts.
My husband is hard of hearing because of ten years on the flightline in the Air Force.
He turns his hearing aids off when 37 does that.
It makes me laugh.
Jabberwockey
Well-Known Member
Our difficult child would launch into full on whining/explaining mode and I would be the one to hang up!
Quick update; K arrived sometime this weekend. Don't know when as difficult child only calls when he wants something. And I GPSed him last night out of curiosity. Either he left his phone at the apartment when he left for work or he didn't go in last night. Maybe a bit too much "celebrating" the arrival of his friend this weekend?
Lil
Well-Known Member
Now who's being overly involved?
I really don't know why you bothered to do that. Way to ruin a nice weekend.
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
AHA! She got ya, Jabs
Jabberwockey
Well-Known Member
