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Substance Abuse
Well here I am...
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 705369" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>chances are that AtWit's End cannot just throw his son out because his son is still in high school. In MANY states, if a person who is 18 but still in high school chooses to leave home, they are free to do so, but if they don't want to, then the parent MUST provide a living situation for them. It is a tough situation. Especially now that CPS is involved, plus all the coaches who likely want to try to help save his son. I do think disabling his son's vehicle MUST happen. </p><p></p><p>Do not just take away the keys to the car. Go under the hood and take out some of the fuses, or find the spark plug wires and remove them. The fuses can usually be found in the car manual (take the manual and lock it up in a lock box or safe so that son cannot get at it, but you can if you want to sell the car or use it - they are easy to replace and son could have it running in under five min and ten bucks if he put his mind to it and could find the fuse diagram if he knew this was the problem!). Whatever you do, do more than just take the keys away from him. That is just too easy for him to get around and a car is a very dangerous weapon in the hands of someone who is impaired. Not only is he likely to harm himself, he is also likely to harm others. Plus the cost to your insurance for years would be staggering - FAR more than the cost of a few fuses. If you don't want to fool with all of that, go and sell the car. Just be done with it. After all, surely you told him more than once that using any substance while driving was an absolute no. I think every parent does, every driver's ed program does, and every state does. So he cannot claim he didn't know it wasn't acceptable. He isn't yet 18, so do this BEFORE he is 18 and thinks he can legally own something. </p><p></p><p>I am truly sorry that he made these choices. He is showing you who he is. You have to take him at face value, because actions truly do speak louder than words, and addicts lie easier than they breathe. That he would smoke in your BEDROOM when your wife has severe migraines is just plain evil and mean in my opinion. I have severe migraines and would not EVER live with someone who smoked in my home, much less my bedroom. It is so far beyond cruel that I cannot even express it. It is just an ugly thing to do. THAT is who an addict is, not the son you raised and loved. At some point, when he has hit bottom, wanted to get clean and turn it around, been clean a year or two, you will see your son again. But it will be a long time until then. Please, read Darkwing Psyduck's posts. He explains it well.</p><p></p><p>Please go to Alanon or Narcanon. They will also help. And keep posting here. It really WILL help. I promise.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 705369, member: 1233"] chances are that AtWit's End cannot just throw his son out because his son is still in high school. In MANY states, if a person who is 18 but still in high school chooses to leave home, they are free to do so, but if they don't want to, then the parent MUST provide a living situation for them. It is a tough situation. Especially now that CPS is involved, plus all the coaches who likely want to try to help save his son. I do think disabling his son's vehicle MUST happen. Do not just take away the keys to the car. Go under the hood and take out some of the fuses, or find the spark plug wires and remove them. The fuses can usually be found in the car manual (take the manual and lock it up in a lock box or safe so that son cannot get at it, but you can if you want to sell the car or use it - they are easy to replace and son could have it running in under five min and ten bucks if he put his mind to it and could find the fuse diagram if he knew this was the problem!). Whatever you do, do more than just take the keys away from him. That is just too easy for him to get around and a car is a very dangerous weapon in the hands of someone who is impaired. Not only is he likely to harm himself, he is also likely to harm others. Plus the cost to your insurance for years would be staggering - FAR more than the cost of a few fuses. If you don't want to fool with all of that, go and sell the car. Just be done with it. After all, surely you told him more than once that using any substance while driving was an absolute no. I think every parent does, every driver's ed program does, and every state does. So he cannot claim he didn't know it wasn't acceptable. He isn't yet 18, so do this BEFORE he is 18 and thinks he can legally own something. I am truly sorry that he made these choices. He is showing you who he is. You have to take him at face value, because actions truly do speak louder than words, and addicts lie easier than they breathe. That he would smoke in your BEDROOM when your wife has severe migraines is just plain evil and mean in my opinion. I have severe migraines and would not EVER live with someone who smoked in my home, much less my bedroom. It is so far beyond cruel that I cannot even express it. It is just an ugly thing to do. THAT is who an addict is, not the son you raised and loved. At some point, when he has hit bottom, wanted to get clean and turn it around, been clean a year or two, you will see your son again. But it will be a long time until then. Please, read Darkwing Psyduck's posts. He explains it well. Please go to Alanon or Narcanon. They will also help. And keep posting here. It really WILL help. I promise. [/QUOTE]
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