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Substance Abuse
Well here I am...
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<blockquote data-quote="Kalahou" data-source="post: 705370" data-attributes="member: 19617"><p>Hello AtWitsEnd,</p><p>Welcome to the forum. It is a safe place, and it is such a relief to pour out your story, to get it out to those who understand, and to know you are not alone with your confusion, guilt, fears, etc. I agree with the good comments the others have shared above.</p><p></p><p>You sound like you understand the need for detachment, to not enable this situation.</p><p></p><p>You have a good handle on the situation. FYI - There is a good article at the top of the Parents Emeritus forum, which you may check out to keep your alignment on the situation. It is not directly related to drug use but many of the principles apply.</p><p>Link: <a href="http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/#axzz4USb1yJga" target="_blank">http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/#axzz4USb1yJga</a></p><p></p><p>I do not have experience in drug addiction situations with a young adult child such as yours. My difficult child is a 37 year old adult (your age) currently in a court treatment parole program.</p><p></p><p>I give a lot of credit to your mother for agreeing to take your son in. I have grandsons the age of your son, and I personally would not easily or readily agree to take them into my home. Of course, part of my hesitancy is because I am already worn down by my own 37-year-old difficult child (<u>not</u> grandsons’ dad).</p><p></p><p>Does your son have a good or close relationship with your mom? Is she attuned to the matters of his drug use and addiction? Is she strong enough to set the boundaries and call him out any abuse or disrespect? Will he follow her house rules? Will he take advantage of her to try to lie or make excuses? To me the immediate goal / focus as you described is for him to finish high school and keep up his grades. I admire that he is working and seems to be responsible. But it appears he may be in addiction, which needs the committed recovery, which only can happen if he wants it himself. Hopefully, your willingness to support the counseling and rehab will make an impression, but often we find (as you have seen on this site) that any success results only when the child themselves wants to change. He is still young and I'm hoping with others here (as [USER=19889]@PiscesMom[/USER] said above ) that this may be an unfortunate phase he can successfully weather out of.</p><p></p><p>You might find other threads on the Parents Emeritus forum helpful to you also. That forum focuses on difficult children over 18 or out of the home.</p><p></p><p>Stay with us. More folks more experienced will be along with guidance and wisdom specific to your situation. Hang in there. We understand. Keep reading others' posts and threads. It helps. You are not alone. Take care. You are going to be alright.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kalahou, post: 705370, member: 19617"] Hello AtWitsEnd, Welcome to the forum. It is a safe place, and it is such a relief to pour out your story, to get it out to those who understand, and to know you are not alone with your confusion, guilt, fears, etc. I agree with the good comments the others have shared above. You sound like you understand the need for detachment, to not enable this situation. You have a good handle on the situation. FYI - There is a good article at the top of the Parents Emeritus forum, which you may check out to keep your alignment on the situation. It is not directly related to drug use but many of the principles apply. Link: [URL]http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/#axzz4USb1yJga[/URL] I do not have experience in drug addiction situations with a young adult child such as yours. My difficult child is a 37 year old adult (your age) currently in a court treatment parole program. I give a lot of credit to your mother for agreeing to take your son in. I have grandsons the age of your son, and I personally would not easily or readily agree to take them into my home. Of course, part of my hesitancy is because I am already worn down by my own 37-year-old difficult child ([U]not[/U] grandsons’ dad). Does your son have a good or close relationship with your mom? Is she attuned to the matters of his drug use and addiction? Is she strong enough to set the boundaries and call him out any abuse or disrespect? Will he follow her house rules? Will he take advantage of her to try to lie or make excuses? To me the immediate goal / focus as you described is for him to finish high school and keep up his grades. I admire that he is working and seems to be responsible. But it appears he may be in addiction, which needs the committed recovery, which only can happen if he wants it himself. Hopefully, your willingness to support the counseling and rehab will make an impression, but often we find (as you have seen on this site) that any success results only when the child themselves wants to change. He is still young and I'm hoping with others here (as [USER=19889]@PiscesMom[/USER] said above ) that this may be an unfortunate phase he can successfully weather out of. You might find other threads on the Parents Emeritus forum helpful to you also. That forum focuses on difficult children over 18 or out of the home. Stay with us. More folks more experienced will be along with guidance and wisdom specific to your situation. Hang in there. We understand. Keep reading others' posts and threads. It helps. You are not alone. Take care. You are going to be alright. [/QUOTE]
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