Well here's another prime example

[klmno]

of how my mother's anxiety plays out. (I just rec'd an email from her copied verbatim below.) At least she didn't make umpteen phone calls to others this time accusing me of what "she's having anxiety and stress over".....and to think, the last juvie jurisdiction we lived in felt I should have a mental health evaluation because MY anxiety was interferring with MY judgement re. my son.

Hi klmno, I know you will think this is a little bazaar but I felt I needed to find out if you are all right. I had a terrible dream early this morning that left me pretty shaken. It was about your teeth being in terrible condition due to meth use like Lin. Lohan's has become. Guess I've been watching too much Jane V. Mitchell on "Issues." Anyway, I hope and pray to God you are not doing any drugs and are still working with helping yourself and your child. I'm here if you need me for what ever that is worth to you now. I will always love you, mom

I am 50yo for goodness sake, haven't done drugs since my early 20's, and haven't seen this woman in several years. But just like I was accused of trying to starve my baby at birth, turning him into a difficult child, being mentally ill to the point of dellusional and trying to blame it on my son.....all justified by her because "she was stressed out with worry because of me and had seen a tv show talking about how serious a problem like this can be"- do you know what happens when nurse's, attnys, dss, etc, etc hear a mother say stuff like this about a grown child who has a young child to raise? Why oh why can't this woman see it's HER anxiety that is making HER irrational and delusional??

 

[DDD]

Not your problem. Let it slide like water off a duck's back.

Meanwhile, lol, how is your real life going? DDD

 

[AnnieO]

Wow. Just wow.

k, are you SURE this isn't my mother in law? Are you SURE you're not my long-lost sister in law??????

 

[klmno]

I'm in MD this week for work- I tried to switch it with a trip to either NC or SC to make the meet-up but that didn't pan out. I'm only back at the hotel already today because my plans for today were thrown a little off base so I had to cut that site visit short. I'll work in the hotel a couple of hours this afternoon/evening to make up for it.

I could use some input on my last thread in General re difficult child, if anyone has time....it's a couple of days old now so probably on page 2 or 3 but it's still bothering me. I guess I'm wondering if most kids with odd or cd believe this is just a matter of losing respect for a parent as a parent. That really hurts, but then again, I don't think difficult child respect's or cares about authority anyone else has over him either when he's in a determined mood to just do whatever it is he wants to do....or when he is in the frame of mind that retaliation by committing another offense will "sure show them".

 

[klmno]

LOL, Step- my only blood-sib is a half-bro who's gay so I'm pretty darn sure we aren't SILs. I wish I had someone in the family who understood all this. They all still buy into whatever my mother says though- after all, she's the parent.

 

[DDD]

I can't find the post in General. Why don't you do an "up" so it won't be missed? DDD

 

[klmno]

ok! Thanks!

 

[hearts and roses]

Wow, that is very scary to me. I'm sure it must just drive you batty? Hugs

 

[klmno]

I can deal with this much- if it's only this much (ie, an email to me) because I've been dealing with that all my life. It's when she completely goes off her rocker and gets mad because I don't reassure her to her satisfaction (which varies based on her level of "worry") and then she calls in family members, GAL of difficult child, etc, and they take her serious and think I'm a horrible daughter and must be abusing my son or exposing him to something horrible, etc. That's what happened before and difficult child and I are still living the repercussions. That's why I have distanced myself from her as much as possible. She knows she has anxiety issues but she'll only do a limited amount to address them so they periodically cause her panic attacks or this kind of koi where seeing a tv show ends up her "just having to know I'm ok" (aka doing what I'm supposed to) because she somehow becomes convinced that if she sees it on tv, I could be doing it, too. And she gets extremely angry if I call her on this and remind her of HER anxiety issues. That's what lead to her communication with difficult child's GAL, which landed me a court-ordered MH evaluation on myself. She's wicked, let me tell you. LOL!

 

[DammitJanet]

I dealt with stuff like that for most of my adult life until my mother could no longer send mail but she never had email. She had good, old regular mail and she kept those carbon copies of everything she ever sent to people. Her list included everyone from the President on down to my kids doctors, schools, cps, my employers, neighbors, you name it. No one ever took her seriously though. I dont think my mom knew enough about specific drugs to name them though...lol. I think she just said I was an addict, loser, everything bad in the world was my fault, and went on wild rants.

 

[klmno]

I kind of chuckled and kind of felt sad over that, DJ. My mother has the benefit of having a PhD in psychiatric and family members who believe everything she says backing her up so unfortunately, it takes some time and people with some experience ITRW before it becomes obvious to people that it isn't me that's the fruitcake. I remember when difficult child was born and my mother herself and my bro went to the nurses saying I was trying to starve difficult child to death (within hours after a C-section). Those nurses scurried around a few hours talking to my dr, a pediatrician, and the lactose specialist before determining that it was my family that was nuts- the baby was fine and I did want the baby and had been working with dr, nurses, lactose spec, etc. Unfortunatley the idiots in juvie courts weren't quite as experienced. Sorry for bringing that up again but that's part of the reason I want to advocate for ending juvie courts as being a training center for newbies.

 

[buddy]

HER irrational and delusional??

you answered your own question, smile.....!!!

Sorry you have had to experience such weirdness. And from someone who should be your biggest cheerleader. that must sting somewhat. But I agree with DDD. sounds like you already set really good boundaries by not really seeing her (I guess I am assuming that, maybe there is another reason you dont see her) so this is just a little reminder why that is important.

 

[keista]

I'm so sorry you share biology with this person.

I've got to say, though, that this is NOT normal anxiety. I think she fits the clinical definition for being delusional. AND since she is so vested in these negative delusions she pushes herself into anxiety. NOT the other way around.

((((HUGS))))

 

[klmno]

Wow- I never looked at it that way but you could be onto something there.

 

[klmno]

Here's the response I just sent her-

Wow- it sounds like your anxiety and tv watching are getting to you again. No, I am not doing drugs and haven't done drugs for many, many years. I'm 50 years old for goodness sake. Please try to get some help with your anxiety and ability to think thru things rationally. Just because you see something on tv doesn't mean I'm doing it- and I've had to say this over and over for about 20 years now.

 

[HaoZi]

I'm still stuck on her using "bazaar" when she means "bizarre." Makes me wonder if she spends too much time shopping, or conversely, if she needs to get out more.

 

[klmno]

LOL! I would say that it's because she needs to get out more but I can't complain about another's spelling and it is a frightening thought for her to be un the social norm.