Well I have an official diagnosis...lock me up!!!

[totoro]

So I am apologizing right now if this is scattered... hee hee. I have not slept in 3 days... Family doctor prescribed me Ambian yesterday and wanted to wait and see how this all worked for a month... I slept for 4 hours and then wide awake again.

So then luckily K was hypo-manic also and refused to go to her therapist apt, so I went. Told therapist everything that had been going on. I have been tracking months of my slowly amping up... not sleeping for a few days and then coming down. I don't get depressed so to speak, I just don't want to leave the house for a few days. I want to avoid people and places...

So therapist went a bit over my past, she had some info and went over it a bit more. She finally admitted that she was wondering when I was going to come talk to her. She said she thinks I am a rapid cycler, I am hypo-manic most of the time, with some up's and down's.
She feels I am Cyclothymic. I agree with her at this point. I had already felt I had a mood disorder, I mean realisticly Mental Illness seems to be running ramant in my family...
I have just never really talked about it with someone seriously before...
So she wants me to talk to a psychiatrist just to have a cohesive plan. But for now, since the Ambian doesn't seem to be smart, she called my family doctor and wants to up my Topamax, since I am already on it, leave me on the Zoloft, since I am already on it.

She also wants me to try Trazodone at night to help me sleep for a short period... I don't like the idea of this... but I need to sleep.
So right now I feel like I have the brain shaked from lack of sleep... K is a wreck and psychiatrist feels if she gets any worse we will have to Hospitalize her again... We are pulling her off of the Geodon and Neurontin (Geodon't and Nuerotic in our home)...

husband is changing his work so he can work from here, he got an office here. His partners realized this was very important.

I am somewhat relieved to get help for myself but just sick of the words Mental Illness... oh, and my Dear dad is trying to get in touch again... still talking about moving here.

therapist also feels I have PTSD, she wants to try EMDR therapy on me.

so that is my week... yeah!!!

The best part is I have Mental Illness and no artistic talents what so ever... ain't I supposed to be creative at least???

 

[Star*]

TOTO,

Sorry for the rough week. Many hugs - and don't worry about the label - whatever you are - we still love ya.

Listen - the EMDR is a SUPER WONDERFUL therapeutic release. I had certain "problems" with my past and 5 sessions worked what my family calls near miracles. I had severe PTST. EMDR gave me a release that traditional therapy and CBT therapy did not.

I hope it is as successful for you as it was me.

All the best
Star
ps - some time in the future you can tell me about your movie theater - and that's all I'm going to say.

 

[tiredmommy]

{{{Totoro}}}
I hope you find something that helps you out. With any luck you may find that a successful treatment plan for you may also be the plan that works for K and N.

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

((((((((((Totoro))))))))))

I am so sorry. But I am glad that they have named it and can treat it.

Nothing but love and hugs.

 

[flutterbee]

T -

I'm glad you have answers.

Creativity isn't isolated to traditional art, by the way. :wink: You are very creative in parenting your children and you're a wonderful mother. That's worth more than some artistic ability.

(((hugs)))

 

[Hound dog]

At least now that the diagnosis is made treatment can begin, and hopefully soon a good stable balance found.

Heather is right, creativity can be expressed in such vast terms that it would be impossible to list them all. Odds are you're creative and just don't realize how much. :smile:

The trazadone ought to help with the sleep. Knocks me out like a light. But after a short while makes me irratible as H#ll, so you might want to watch for that in case it does with you, too.

Hugs

 

[Wiped Out]

I too am glad you have some answers and now that they know what they are dealing with that should help with treatment. It sounds good that husband will be around more. The Trazadone used to really help my difficult child sleep.

 

[Marguerite]

What's EMDR? I never really got any decent therapy with my PTSD, the psychiatrist I saw was a dead loss. A friend of mine also saw him for something very different - she found him the same as I did, seemingly disinterested in really helping. It was almost as if he nodded off in each session and only came awake to make sure you booked in for your next session (and paid for it too).

Jerk.

Totoro, I'm glad you finally have answers. I hope the help is effective.

Marg

 

[flutterbee]

Marg -

http://www.emdria.org/displaycommon.cfm?an=1&subarticlenbr=56

EMDR is the most researched treatment in the psychological field. It was first used almost primarily for PTSD (Vietnam vets), but it's use has expanded and they see benefits for a ride range of trauma cases, as well as anxiety and other areas.

 

[Steely]

I am SO glad you finally went to the Dr!!!! :doctor:

Excellent decision. I know you do not really like the "labels" as none of us do - but you know what? They really do not matter. What matters is you feeling better. And I will be willing to bet, that once you feel better, you will notice K starts to improve a little too. She will notice your calm and peace, and pick up on that to some extent as well.

I have only heard good things about EMDR, so let us know how that helps. I have the worst PTSD, and I would love to have someone talk me into trying it :wink:

Take care, and hang in there.
Willow

 

[Suz]

The good thing about a "label" is that it gives you and the docs a starting off point for research, medication, and therapies. Hopefully, it will also reduce some of the worry that's usually involved when you suspect something is up but aren't quite sure what it is.

As for feeling ripped off because you got a diagnosis and didn't get artistic talent to go with it....your great sense of humor is worth more than 10 so-called talents. You go, girl! :thumb:

Suz

 

[TerryJ2]

What a rough time, Totoro. I saw your post on the general bb, too. You all need sleep!

But you made me laugh, with
The best part is I have Mental Illness and no artistic talents what so ever... ain't I supposed to be creative at least???

Hey, if I'm ever diagnosis'd bipolar, I'll let you know! :laugh:

The thing I have problems with-is thinking of everything at once ... your difficult child is having medication issues, you're having sleep issues, everyone is having issues, you may have to send her somewhere ... don't think about it that way. Try to think about one thing at a time. Ea time a new thought crowds in, make it go away. It's hard work but it will give you more peace of mind. You cannot be overwhelmed. :frown:
You'll have to do that no matter what kind of medications you're on, anyway.

Good luck!

 

[Stella Johnson]

I hope the new medication helps you get some sleep. I wouldn't be able to function on 4 hours of sleep in one day much less going for weeks like that. :hammer:

Trust me, the creativity can be a curse. My difficult child is VERY creative. She gets zoned into something and you can't stop her. She creates strange pieces of art out of weird things around the house... usually things she isn't supposed to use. She wears me out.

Steph

 

[SearchingForRainbows]

Totoro,

How are things going today???

I'm sorry I missed this. I agree with the others - It is good that you're getting help. The diag doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that you get the help you need and feel better ASAP!!!

I'm very happy that husband is being so supportive. You need time to take care of yourself.

I'm sending you lots of cyber hugs and two cyber shoulders to lean on... WFEN

 

[TerryJ2]

So, how's it going? Have you digested the news a bit better? Gotten any sleep?

 

[totoro]

Thanks guy's!!!
Yes I have digested the news... I always new I had "issues" so it is nice to have a diagnosis. husband wants me to go for my own therapy as soon as we can.
Of course family doctor has not called back with the new scrips or dosages. 3 days now!!! GRRR...
I have gotten some sleep... Ambian doesn't work that well... and manic children don't help!!!

We are still waiting for psychiatrist to call also... Since Friday. UGH

K did not make it to school today... then she saw a neighbor boy who we don't really let her play with, so she started obsessing over him, decided to invite him over, then decided she was running away to go live with him... took the rest of the night to get over her weird mood.

husband is stressed by all of this as am I, the doctor's not calling back, lack of sleep and poor K.
While I am feeling better about getting help for myself, I am stressed by all of the BS... and of course now my Dad is getting in touch with me again. Keeps insisting he is moving up here...
I just reply, and act like all is good. He needs to know nothing.

So yes on the one hand I feel a little better, but things are not better.

husband is having fun making fun of me, "Oh is that a Bipolar thing, I wouldn't understand?" I told him I am getting the shirt!!!
He is actually trying really hard, we are all under a lot of stress...

Thank you everyone for the kind words and thoughts.
K is down to 40 mg Nuerontin... amazing she was only on it 2 weeks. If this is what has helped trigger her mania.

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Goodness, Totoro...

And you turned into a giraffe too?

 

[TerryJ2]

I have gotten some sleep... Ambian doesn't work that well...

I thought it didn't work at all with-bipolar?

and manic children don't help!!!

No fair. NO ONE sleeps with-manic kids! LOL.


We are still waiting for psychiatrist to call also... Since Friday. UGH

I'd put in a reminder call.


K did not make it to school today... then she saw a neighbor boy who we don't really let her play with, so she started obsessing over him, decided to invite him over, then decided she was running away to go live with him.

How funny. My husband still remembers the name of his first girlfriend at that age. And he was a easy child. Hmmm...


now my Dad is getting in touch with me again. Keeps insisting he is moving up here...

Ack!

I just reply, and act like all is good. He needs to know nothing.

Absolutely.

husband is having fun making fun of me, "Oh is that a Bipolar thing, I wouldn't understand?" I told him I am getting the shirt!!!

Good idea! Ask for it for Christmas.