She failed the drug test. She went in Monday and signed a pre-employment agreement and went for a drug test. Target told her they would call her in 24-48 hours to schedule her training. I had told her three weeks ago that she needed to have a job by Monday, 10/13, or find another place to live. Since then, however, we both met with her therapist and the therapist recommended that she she a psychiatrist. Since, apparently, it is easier to get an audience with the Pope than it is to have a psychiatrist office return a phone call requesting an appointment, we have yet to even schedule one. She visited her todc yesterday and, afterward, the therapist called me. She felt (and I agree) that this is nota good time to uproot difficult child. The primary goal is to get her evaluated and on medications. I know the therapist knows things that I do not know about difficult child right now and I am taking her advice to heart. I talked with difficult child later (not revealing that I'd talked to therapist). I explained that having bipolar was an obstacle - to be certain - but it wasn't a "get out of jail free" card. She said therapist said pretty much the same thing. I told her that I felt there'd been sort of a "perfect storm" of circumstances ... the deadline, the job offer at target, the failed drug test, therapist's recommendations and her slow dawning realization that she is most likely dealing with bipolar. I'm one to stick to my guns (and she knows this), but I won't do it at any cost either. She said she didn't want to leave (duh!) and I told her I would give her a month BUT made it clear that there would be no more failing drug tests. I asked when she was positive she'd test clean (of course sh was positive she would on Monday .... magical thinking at work) and she said it had been about four weeks...that she'd been doing great but slipped up JUST ONCE blah, blah. I kept a poker face and said "Part of the deal of your staying past Monday is that you will test clean. I will take you (there's a place in town where I can do this) sometime soon and without notice. You will also continue to look for a job." I realize I cannot control whether or not she gets a job. I cannot control whether or not she smokes pot. I cannot control her frightening sexual acting out. I cannot control whether she tells the truth. I cannot control whether or not she is medication-compliant when she does see a psychiatrist. I know that I could not live with turning her out (most likely to Mr. Ostrich's, but he still claims he'd say no) before giving her a chance to see a psychiatrist. I will, indeed, stick to my word about the drug test, though ...and testing postive would be a dealbreaker in this.