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Parent Emeritus
Well, its finally his day in court
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<blockquote data-quote="Nikimoto" data-source="post: 651216" data-attributes="member: 18791"><p>I think of a lot of things reading this, first of all HUGS, so much hugs, how utterly awful. Second of all was some advice from a family counselor who was also speaking alone with Evan back when he agreed to go. You are done raising your son. He does not need anything more from you. If you keep going out of your way to prepare things for him, he has no say in the matter, let him hold his responsibilities. Let him be, he doesn't even want your help. Evan lies a lot too, like all the time, almost everything out of his mouth is a lie. In arguments with my eldest son he feels like he is supporting him now, though it was his choice to move him in, I remind him his brother is an adult, and he continues to choose to support him, that is his choice alone. He said, similar to you, that he will let his brother stay free til the end of this summer, but he has to find work or figure something out once he graduates. I would say if. But trying too hard to help his brother has strained my son and his new wife, though I warned them. And trying to help your adult son is straining you, and you have to start putting your well being first. Buying him some time, paying his rent, spraying raid, he could do on his own. But you have to be able to step out of his place now, and let him realize he has to take over, and he has to start pulling his own weight and paying his way in the world.</p><p>He is grown. You are done raising him.</p><p>In my honest opinion, if you can safely lock up your home and belongings, you ought to leave on a vacation and shut off your phones. Let him know his issues are not at your forefront. Love him with all your heart and let him face his own consequences.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nikimoto, post: 651216, member: 18791"] I think of a lot of things reading this, first of all HUGS, so much hugs, how utterly awful. Second of all was some advice from a family counselor who was also speaking alone with Evan back when he agreed to go. You are done raising your son. He does not need anything more from you. If you keep going out of your way to prepare things for him, he has no say in the matter, let him hold his responsibilities. Let him be, he doesn't even want your help. Evan lies a lot too, like all the time, almost everything out of his mouth is a lie. In arguments with my eldest son he feels like he is supporting him now, though it was his choice to move him in, I remind him his brother is an adult, and he continues to choose to support him, that is his choice alone. He said, similar to you, that he will let his brother stay free til the end of this summer, but he has to find work or figure something out once he graduates. I would say if. But trying too hard to help his brother has strained my son and his new wife, though I warned them. And trying to help your adult son is straining you, and you have to start putting your well being first. Buying him some time, paying his rent, spraying raid, he could do on his own. But you have to be able to step out of his place now, and let him realize he has to take over, and he has to start pulling his own weight and paying his way in the world. He is grown. You are done raising him. In my honest opinion, if you can safely lock up your home and belongings, you ought to leave on a vacation and shut off your phones. Let him know his issues are not at your forefront. Love him with all your heart and let him face his own consequences. [/QUOTE]
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Well, its finally his day in court
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