Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Well, its finally his day in court
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Nikimoto" data-source="post: 651260" data-attributes="member: 18791"><p>I'm just saying I was sorely mistaken in assuming he was recently 18 and you were attempting to help him understand that independence involves paying his own way. Sorry for the assumption. I wouldn't suggest anyone disown their only child, but if you want to be obtuse, there you are. I would never defend or pay for defense of my adult child should he cause legal trouble, so it's hard for me to read your struggles while it seems he feels entitled to all of your free help. I had friend back when my elder kids were little who was constantly bailing her one daughter out of jail, watching her kids, buying her stuff, it never ended. I got suckered into giving her my outgrown stroller before some other moms warned me of her enabling. She wasn't a lwayer, jailer, or cop, just another beleagured mom who thought she was helping her messed up kid. She was really telling her kid to keep getting in trouble, keep screwing up, it's always fine since mom is running behind you to clean up and pay for it. It baffles me how parents think this way, and I am sad to see you so upset over your adult son and his personal problems. Yes, I do believe parents need to cut off some contact for some time. At least the purse strings and the family gatherings in some cases. I won't invite Evan to my son and daughter in law's reception dinner due to his repeated performance of raging and stirring up nonsense. Let alone his former vandalism and theft from our house, he simply isn't welcome here 'at this time'. I can hold out hope he decides to change, and I can stay my boundaries. It's the only safe choice for my small children and family in my home.</p><p>You made the comment once you wished you had a perfect child so you could prove you weren't a bad mother, and I feel the same way, but I have to argue I have no perfect children. My elder two kids are successful in their life choices, they neither strive for some idea of perfection nor like me very much right now. Also, whenever Evan attempts to threaten or otherwise blackmail me with ideas of my being a bad mom, I refuse to buy into his deranged tactics, and I refuse to jump through his hoops. I didn't deserve his guilt trip any more than you do. We are supposed to be in this together as parents, and I appreciate your input as I hope you appreciate mine. But what I see is a grown man conning his parents into continued enabling. You have the right to shut off the gravy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nikimoto, post: 651260, member: 18791"] I'm just saying I was sorely mistaken in assuming he was recently 18 and you were attempting to help him understand that independence involves paying his own way. Sorry for the assumption. I wouldn't suggest anyone disown their only child, but if you want to be obtuse, there you are. I would never defend or pay for defense of my adult child should he cause legal trouble, so it's hard for me to read your struggles while it seems he feels entitled to all of your free help. I had friend back when my elder kids were little who was constantly bailing her one daughter out of jail, watching her kids, buying her stuff, it never ended. I got suckered into giving her my outgrown stroller before some other moms warned me of her enabling. She wasn't a lwayer, jailer, or cop, just another beleagured mom who thought she was helping her messed up kid. She was really telling her kid to keep getting in trouble, keep screwing up, it's always fine since mom is running behind you to clean up and pay for it. It baffles me how parents think this way, and I am sad to see you so upset over your adult son and his personal problems. Yes, I do believe parents need to cut off some contact for some time. At least the purse strings and the family gatherings in some cases. I won't invite Evan to my son and daughter in law's reception dinner due to his repeated performance of raging and stirring up nonsense. Let alone his former vandalism and theft from our house, he simply isn't welcome here 'at this time'. I can hold out hope he decides to change, and I can stay my boundaries. It's the only safe choice for my small children and family in my home. You made the comment once you wished you had a perfect child so you could prove you weren't a bad mother, and I feel the same way, but I have to argue I have no perfect children. My elder two kids are successful in their life choices, they neither strive for some idea of perfection nor like me very much right now. Also, whenever Evan attempts to threaten or otherwise blackmail me with ideas of my being a bad mom, I refuse to buy into his deranged tactics, and I refuse to jump through his hoops. I didn't deserve his guilt trip any more than you do. We are supposed to be in this together as parents, and I appreciate your input as I hope you appreciate mine. But what I see is a grown man conning his parents into continued enabling. You have the right to shut off the gravy. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Well, its finally his day in court
Top