Well no total meltdowns....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by buddy, Dec 24, 2011.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    He did make the niece I thought would cry...cry. They were downstars he wanted to watch one of the girls make this jewelry thing she got and the niece who always gets upset (she has serious temper issues) started bossing him around. He finally called her a b and she came upstairs crying. Told my sister and she went down and kicked Q out of the basement. I talked to Q later and he said she was being really mean and he knew he couldn't hurt her so he just called her that instead. Well, honestly I believe him, he already had his consequence so no point in lying and she is in a social skills group for being too bossy in school. I love her dearly but she is a mess, huge rages, kicking yelling etc.

    One of my sisters has in the past stayed with them on Christmas eve because she lived so far away. This year she lives just half a mile away so is happy to sleep in her bed with her cats and not have to sleep on a couch and be woken at 5 am. the kids said it would be not the same without her. she said but she will go over in the morning. My niece fell apart got mad stomped her feet, and to make it worse, her mom told our sister that she is going to have to pay for their therapy and take care of them when they are crabby all day tomorrow, so thinking she was kidding my sister said, well why not put them to bed on time so they are not so tired and the other sister got furious! She was serious that my sister should have to give up her nice bed to make her difficult child niece feel better. It is ok to say she is disappointed but honestly I would just say, I get it that you are sad but we need to respect auntie's decision. She so fed into the tantrum I was in shock. Yet this is the same kid who is the ONLY one who went with Q and taught him how to play a shared game on his ds, they were under the dining room table giggling playing the games etc. so cute. She really is a dear but she has such a temper.

    They do come down hard on Q, he accidentally sneezed by a few cookies on a plate and like three people yelled at him. My step mom has them pass the gifts out and then wanted them to take turns opening. I asked for them to not do that last year...just too hard. Or let him go first. but no the little girls had to go first, finallyq just dug in and they got so crabby. I said, you all know this is a set up. So jsut take pictures of him now instead. I couldn't take it anymore and they agreed it was ok. He was thrilled and said thank you to them and really was kind. He had several blurts and people got snarky about it as usual. But he never went off on my and never once got aggressive! (got two nascar shirts/sweatshirts). My step mom got a huge bonus this year and shared it with us, I can't believe it. It makes me be able to pay rent without an advance....Also gave us like 8 movie tickets, do you know how long it has been since we went to a movie? Q is not great at movies but does ok if we dont sit by eachother. We go to a sensory night where they have lower volume, dont turn the lights all the way off and people do talk and make noises because there are a lot of people with autism. I love it, so much less stress. They do it for the newest movies once a week.

    Well, tomorrow is my sister's house with my mom. It is less structured so hopefully we will be fine. He will have his galaxy player so will be preoccupied with that anyway. My sister does not have wi fi but I know how to make my phone into a hot spot.

    Merry Christmas, now it is time to just watch some Christmas shows and focus on the REAL Christmas!
  2. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Good Morning Buddy and Merry Christmas!

    Glad to hear there were no "total meltdowns".
    So nice that your step mom shared her bonus...very cool Christmas present to you.
    I hope you and Q enjoy your time at sisters today!

  3. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Buddy, I'm glad to hear that it went well for Q and for you. It's so hard to ask the kids to wait while everyone else (other little kids) get to open their gifts first. As you said, it was not a total meltdown and now you can go to your sister's today and have a good day.

    Merry Christmas!
  4. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Now that it is over, you can take a breath. Sounds as if it went rather well.
  5. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Spoiled rotten little niece....crabby uptight sister.....calm, cool, collected Q....how could you have asked for anything more? I am soooo glad things went fairly smoothly. I hope you are (were) able to relax some. Today is more excitement but hopefully it goes well also. I think you're finally getting your Q back.
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    LOL, good way to look at it. They are difficult child's too so I do try to be generous in my thoughts and deeds with them, but sometimes it gets old to have it always be Q who gets the brunt of it when he is the LEAST able to do anything about it.
  7. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Glad you had no meltdowns. difficult child 1 is having one right now (been going on an hour now) and we're waiting for my mom to come pick us up to go to my sister's. All I did was remind him he had to go to feed the neighbor's fish like HE promised them he'd do. Not gonna happen I guess and I am REALLY dreading what is going to happen when my mom gets here AND when (if) we get to my sister's. This is NOT going to be a good day!!!GRRRRR
  8. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Oh sorry, is it this waiting to go (transition) time? I hope so, hope once there and settled he will be ok. Does he have a place there to go decompress? Q brought the zipper snuggie that nana gave him to our dinner last night and told me he was going to cover up and calm in it. He did exactly that too! He knows it is stressful... I am sure difficult child 1 does too. Not fun to go somewhere when it is predictable you are going to have a hard time. Sorry for all of you. How is difficult child 2, hanging in there as usual? Tell them Q and Dee are thinking of them and sending cyber hugs. I tried to set up skype, didn't do so well. You are going to have to tutor me through it . I usually do better. Maybe I have to set it up on computer first so it is not so hard to scroll over and figure it all out.
  9. lovelyboy

    lovelyboy Member

    Buddy I'm so glad for you....we are so proud of Q!!!!
    Tedo.....I feel so sorry for your situation...I know EXACTLY how you feel! Why is it that it feels like every time just before family comes there is a crisis! Or when I need to phone ghg have a emotional outburst!!!!!

    It went well this side to...so glad we were alone...GHG did have a few blow ups...he missed his friends, was angry because there was no friends to show of his new BMX!!! Everything s*cks recording to him! I explained to him how some had to have christmass in hospital, orphanages or in jail....he calmed down and was really nice later!
    Even sat with his brother while he had a nap and me and hubby were able to have an hours afternoon sleep!!!!