Lacey is back in town, and still having "sleepovers" with friends... She got back to town on Tuesday night and asked if I could pick her up at the bus depot at 9:30pm and I was ready for it so I said no, told her to find a place to stay in town overnight and then make her way over to her step-dad's workplace to get a ride home with him. She was a little "snippy" at first but then agreed and said she would call me in the morning. OK, I'm ok..... Next morning, I wasn't planning to go to town (25min drive) but after talking to her a couple of times on the phone, I started thinking I did need a couple of things from the store, could go do some banking and BAM - I caved. I drove to town and picked her up. I did get a few things at the store but nothing I couldn't have done without. I was really angry at myself for accommodating her, but she was in such a good mood, being respectful and even helping me out with my shopping. We got home, I made dinner, she cleaned up and then she grabbed her step-dads laptop and my phone and went downstairs for the evening. Hmmmm, no boundaries discussion yet.... Today, I had plans to go to town to have dinner with a friend but ended up going in early so I could drive her all over town trying to get her dress altered for the big family wedding in 10 days. Yeah, she didn't come back to get it done until it's almost too late so I'm driving all over to help her, and I'm talking to the seamstresses, and yeah, I'm paying for the work. On a positive note, I realized what I was doing, pulled up to the 3rd dress shop and told her to go in by herself and ask for help. I told her I was just going to let her do it herself and she snapped at me that I'm always right there to point out how pathetic she is. Then she said she wasn't going in. I started the car and said it was fine with me and was ready to leave when she opened the door, grabbed the dress and said I could go in with her if I want. (No thank you, I'll just sit in the car). When she was done, I dropped her off at her friend's place and since she had no bags with her, I asked if she was coming back to the house before leaving town on Sunday (to go to the wedding). She quietly said she would get to step-dad's work and come home tomorrow night... I'm still not confident that I can explain calmly to her that I will not help her any more. I did tell her about this group, that I was seeking help for setting boundaries and improving my own life rather than dealing with her issues (and her brother's issues). I just couldn't get it all out because I didn't want to have a big fight and then have alot of family tension at the wedding. I'm getting there though, at least I am aware AS IT'S HAPPENING of how she manipulates me and how I'm reacting. That's a good step - right? Thanks to everyone here for helping me make this first big step!