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Parent Emeritus
Well she is home, now what?
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<blockquote data-quote="helpangel" data-source="post: 631572" data-attributes="member: 7170"><p>hello new member it's sounds to me like you are doing good with trying to change this situation with your daughter. Everyone grows and changes at their own speed and time table, I use to always go for the quick fix. Something not the way I want it... just knee jerk it in place to fix it; sometimes it worked but often something snapped and it became more broken then it was to begin with.</p><p></p><p>Detachment is a journey, lets face it this isn't a sprint it's a marathon; and just like you don't jump into a 27 mile marathon without preparing and training. </p><p></p><p>The first step to correcting a problem is recognizing there is a problem, there you have hit the nail on it's head and done it.</p><p></p><p>I've been taking a lot more time on this detachment journey then many of the parents here but going any faster wouldn't have felt comfortable for me and probably would have backfired. For what it's worth I would have probably used "I need to stop by a store anyway" and gone to pick her up also; the one thing I would have done differently is when she got in the car I would have shut the engine off and handed her a sheet of paper with simple clear cut boundaries spelled out for her so she would have something to refer to as to what I was willing to do and she would know where she was crossing the line. </p><p></p><p>When you get a moment please do a signature at bottom of the post it helps others to quickly remember you & the details of your family composition... my signature tells people I have a twisted sense of humor, 3 kids (all difficult child's but only 2 high maintenance) and a cat (animal) lover (everyone thinking "crazy cat lady" understand what would have been crazy would have been to leave them out there reproducing - they would have turned into a couple hundred cats by now)</p><p></p><p>I'm so glad that you joined us and wanted to say welcome and send a hug and some positive energy your way</p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="helpangel, post: 631572, member: 7170"] hello new member it's sounds to me like you are doing good with trying to change this situation with your daughter. Everyone grows and changes at their own speed and time table, I use to always go for the quick fix. Something not the way I want it... just knee jerk it in place to fix it; sometimes it worked but often something snapped and it became more broken then it was to begin with. Detachment is a journey, lets face it this isn't a sprint it's a marathon; and just like you don't jump into a 27 mile marathon without preparing and training. The first step to correcting a problem is recognizing there is a problem, there you have hit the nail on it's head and done it. I've been taking a lot more time on this detachment journey then many of the parents here but going any faster wouldn't have felt comfortable for me and probably would have backfired. For what it's worth I would have probably used "I need to stop by a store anyway" and gone to pick her up also; the one thing I would have done differently is when she got in the car I would have shut the engine off and handed her a sheet of paper with simple clear cut boundaries spelled out for her so she would have something to refer to as to what I was willing to do and she would know where she was crossing the line. When you get a moment please do a signature at bottom of the post it helps others to quickly remember you & the details of your family composition... my signature tells people I have a twisted sense of humor, 3 kids (all difficult child's but only 2 high maintenance) and a cat (animal) lover (everyone thinking "crazy cat lady" understand what would have been crazy would have been to leave them out there reproducing - they would have turned into a couple hundred cats by now) I'm so glad that you joined us and wanted to say welcome and send a hug and some positive energy your way Nancy [/QUOTE]
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Well she is home, now what?
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