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Well she is home, now what?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 631633" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I cannot quote on this phone. </p><p></p><p>Regarding COM's compassionate and helpful comments on our dedicated intent to say those words which will set our children's feet back onto the right path, and the overwhelming fear that we will somehow say the wrong thing:</p><p></p><p>As I struggle to find the words, I pray, right in that moment. With all my heart, I pray for wisdom. I pray from the true, joyful love in my heart, and I pray for clear intent.</p><p></p><p>And then, I let go of it.</p><p></p><p>I am not so religious.</p><p></p><p>But I am wholeheartedly sincere, when I ask for these things.</p><p></p><p>Know how I know I can safely pray from the love in my heart, whether I feel it or not? Because when we thought it was over, when we believed our daughter was really dying this time...my only regret, after everything we had been through, was all the times I might have laughed with her, all the times I might have celebrated both her and myself.</p><p></p><p>It's true what they say about none of us getting out of here alive. At the end of the day, it really does have to do with loving and with laughter.</p><p></p><p>We need to learn, as COM posted to me once, to hold both the cloud and our belief in the unseen silver lining in the heart of us.</p><p></p><p>We need to incorporate both.</p><p></p><p>We have to grow very much, to be able to do that.</p><p></p><p>As Recovering writes, we have to come to surrender, to that humble, broken place of acceptance a thousand times, until we become so familiar with it that we no longer shy away or pretty up what is happening.</p><p></p><p>It helps me to remember that it is the situation that is bad. There may not be any words to change or make it better.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes, all we can know for sure is the purity of our intention.</p><p></p><p>There is strength in remembering that, whatever the outcome.</p><p></p><p>Also, our children (and sometimes, at least at my house, our husbands too) seem somehow never to lose that magical belief in us as their mothers.</p><p></p><p>*****</p><p></p><p>TALK ABOUT YOUR FREUDIAN SLIPS.</p><p></p><p>I meant as mothers or wives.</p><p></p><p>:0)</p><p></p><p>****</p><p></p><p>That is why we can tell them we know they can do it, tell them all will be well, and they believe us.</p><p></p><p>This is an important thing for us to remember.</p><p></p><p>To our children, it matters what we think. It is up to us to choose healthy.</p><p></p><p>It's so hard to be that strong. It has to do with learning to think for, consciously choose to cherish, and choose kindness to ourselves.</p><p></p><p>As COM points out though, we need to see and accept ourselves for who we really are...not for who we created the perfect mom, perfect wife, plastic person to please.</p><p></p><p>But to learn to please ourselves.</p><p></p><p>It's a really hard thing, to know how to do that.</p><p> </p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 631633, member: 17461"] I cannot quote on this phone. Regarding COM's compassionate and helpful comments on our dedicated intent to say those words which will set our children's feet back onto the right path, and the overwhelming fear that we will somehow say the wrong thing: As I struggle to find the words, I pray, right in that moment. With all my heart, I pray for wisdom. I pray from the true, joyful love in my heart, and I pray for clear intent. And then, I let go of it. I am not so religious. But I am wholeheartedly sincere, when I ask for these things. Know how I know I can safely pray from the love in my heart, whether I feel it or not? Because when we thought it was over, when we believed our daughter was really dying this time...my only regret, after everything we had been through, was all the times I might have laughed with her, all the times I might have celebrated both her and myself. It's true what they say about none of us getting out of here alive. At the end of the day, it really does have to do with loving and with laughter. We need to learn, as COM posted to me once, to hold both the cloud and our belief in the unseen silver lining in the heart of us. We need to incorporate both. We have to grow very much, to be able to do that. As Recovering writes, we have to come to surrender, to that humble, broken place of acceptance a thousand times, until we become so familiar with it that we no longer shy away or pretty up what is happening. It helps me to remember that it is the situation that is bad. There may not be any words to change or make it better. Sometimes, all we can know for sure is the purity of our intention. There is strength in remembering that, whatever the outcome. Also, our children (and sometimes, at least at my house, our husbands too) seem somehow never to lose that magical belief in us as their mothers. ***** TALK ABOUT YOUR FREUDIAN SLIPS. I meant as mothers or wives. :0) **** That is why we can tell them we know they can do it, tell them all will be well, and they believe us. This is an important thing for us to remember. To our children, it matters what we think. It is up to us to choose healthy. It's so hard to be that strong. It has to do with learning to think for, consciously choose to cherish, and choose kindness to ourselves. As COM points out though, we need to see and accept ourselves for who we really are...not for who we created the perfect mom, perfect wife, plastic person to please. But to learn to please ourselves. It's a really hard thing, to know how to do that. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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