Well, she's been listening...

[tiredmommy]

to what I've been saying about predators (thank goodness!). Her boyfriend (not Bff, they are two different girls) had Duckie over to hang out this evening and they were each showing off their cell phones. A little history:

boyfriend is a bit of a difficult child in her own right: she's prone to making up tall tales and this is the girl with whom Duckie was nearly kicked out of pre-k for being such trouble makers. As an example, boyfriend's mom was in a minor car accident a few years ago and walked away completely unharmed. boyfriend went to school and told everyone how her mother was lucky to be alive and should be home any day from the hospital. She was so convincing that the teachers were organizing a collection and pulling together meals for the family before the truth came out (teacher called home to speak with Dad to assure him not to worry about boyfriend's homework, etc during such a stressful time).

So back to tonight. boyfriend tells Duckie that she's been getting texts from a cousin of a friend, a 15 year old boy named Zach. She's never met him. He wants to play 20 questions (!!!) and for her to send him a picture. She shows Duckie a few texts from a kid named Zach, but they were neutral. Duckie isn't sure if boyfriend is lying or if this is a predator. She told boyfriend she had to tell her mom, boyfriend said no. So Duckie told her that she was going to tell me and let me talk to her mom. boyfriend told Duckie she wasn't being a friend if she told, but Duckie said she'd be okay with boyfriend being mad so long as it meant she was safe. She also pointed out that even if boyfriend was lying or exaggerating that she couldn't think of one reason why a 15 year old boy would be texting 10 year old girl. Period. (We had a "too close for comfort" issue with a predator last year, so that's why Duckie knows so much.)

We have plans to take in a local museum tomorrow. boyfriend is likely to be grounded in some way after I talk to her mom so I'll wait until I bring her home.

 

[TeDo]

I love it!! Duckie continues to amaze me each time you talk about her. You are doing a great job teaching her and she's recalling things when she NEEDS to. Things are getting through and THAT is great for a difficult child!! Tell her that her board auntie is VERY proud of her!!!

 

[ThreeShadows]

Great maturity for such a young girl. You've gotten through to her, mama.

 

[DammitJanet]

Duckie is really becoming her own person and that is so important. I think she is gonna make it after all.

 

[hearts and roses]

Awesome! Hooray for Duckie for thinking on her own and hooray for your for teaching hers well! I love this!

 

[tiredmommy]

Thanks everyone. I really wish this weren't happening, Duckie was really stressed about it last night even if she did the right thing and told me and her father about it. Late last spring, there was a man involved in the theater company she's worked with arrested for using the Internet to try to lure a male minor to a hotel room for sex. He'll be sentenced in April. While he never harmed her she'd learned a valuable lesson in questioning others motives. This man's brother was also arrested for setting up a fake online identity (a woman) and tricking boys into sending sexually charged pictures to him which he used to create child pornography. He'll be sentenced in May. It's sick and it is very frightening for Duckie. We had general conversations about online safety and predators in the community before this, but gave her more in depth information when she's asked questions since then.

I'll be upset that Duckie lost a good night sleep if her friend was lying, but I'll be more upset if there's someone trying to hurt her friend.

 

[Hound dog]

Some kids around the girls ages have a tendency to make up tall tales, often in hopes of being like their perception of their peers, wanting to fit in.

But honestly, it's not worth the risk to this child to ignore it. Odds are high that this is a predator, especially since most phones have internet access now days. Even if the girl is making it up, it's a good lesson to her that this type of thing is wrong and why it's wrong.

Good for Duckie though for protecting her friend and doing the right thing. Unfortunately, that doesn't always make you popular. Give her a hug from me.

 

[hearts and roses]

I can't even tell you how similar her boyfriend's behavior reminds me of difficult child and her stupid friends behaviors back when they were 14/15 years old. This is even more frightening because these girls are 10/11 years old! So many of them do not believe it could happen to them, they think they are so clever and cool for playing with this kind of fire. It makes my stomach churn.

 

[DDD]

I know this is redundant but she really impresses the heck out of me. Duckie sure sounds like a easy child to me. Hugs DDD

 

[buddy]

Scary. It is impactful when a predator hits close to home. A man my dad was helping ended up in prison for life after killing several people....he came into my house asking for my dad one day and I called for my neighbor to come over right away. Only a month later he was arrested. It didn't panic me or anything, my parents handled it well and I learned. Sounds like Duckie really takes things in and has a good basic sense of right and wrong. She is more mature than many older teens. Hope her common sense stays strong!

 

[tiredmommy]

Thanks everyone. I just dropped off boyfriend and spoke to mom. She's pretty sure it's a lie: turns out boyfriend has a 15 year old cousin with the same name. He doesn't text her because, well, he's 15 and she's 10. Mom will check it out to make sure everything is fine and I suspect boyfriend may be in some trouble for lying this evening.