Well, she's done. It's over.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DazedandConfused, Jan 23, 2009.

  1. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    I know this should be a happy post and I should be celebrating. I'm too exhausted these days, I suppose.


    Daughter has finished high school. Yes, that means graduated. Early. She earned all the required credits in the required classes. She FINALLY passed the CAHSEE last month(Californa HS exit exam) after several attempts.

    Of course, there was high drama until the very end. With her, there always is.

    I've been reflecting on raising her. I know I'm not done yet and perhaps I will never be truly done. She was a difficult pregnancy and a difficult birth and nearly died. Then, diagnosed with ALL at 13 months and years of treatment after that. Shleping her around to a mind boggling amount of health professionals for physical and mental health issues for treatment and therapy.

    I have to be honest, I got to experience some shining moments. Scoring four goals in one soccer game when she was 8. Winning a school-wide essay contest and reading it before the whole school when she was 10. Her thanking me for a little birthday party I threw her and telling me how much she loved it.

    Of course, once she entered middle school things took a very nasty turn. I didn't think I could survive it. I found this board when she was 12, but didn't join until she was 13 and had threatened to stab me. It has been a very bumpy ride to here and I know it's not over.

    Her plans are to attend community college in the fall with the intention of transferring to university (already knows which one). In the mean time, she still needs to get her license to drive, get a job, and purchase a car. She's not driving mine.

    So, that's what's next-graduating college. Not sure what she wants to do. It was ALWAYS to be a teacher, but recently she has had a change heart. So, I will step back and let her figure that out on her own.

    Anyway...I can check THAT task off my list.

    I know I'm suppose to feel :D:D, but mostly I feel :faint::faint:.
  2. BestICan

    BestICan This community rocks.

    Well, I'd like to say: CONGRATULATIONS difficult child!! And yay for you for living through this milestone!

    One of my favorite sayings is: "Done is good!" I think it applies here.
  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I totally get what you are feeling. I felt the same last Spring when easy child graduated. She had made my life a total H E double hockey sticks for several years. Such stupid decisions regarding friends. Hard to feel good about graduation when I knew she didn't plan on going to college or furthering her education or getting a job outside babysitting. Many times when we struggle to get our kids to a goal, it is just too hard to be happy about it because they did not put in the effort they could have to make the goal easier.
  4. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    When I was younger I used to appear in amateur theatre. We'd rehearse and rehearse - but after the last performance, we'd often experience a major let-down, a feeling of gloom and depression, a sort of "what now?"

    I think you're probably feeling something like this - you've put in so much energy to get her to where she is now, and she's increasingly independent and you're needing to now find a different outlet for all this energy.

    Hang in there - you've done a great job. Our aim as parents is to get our kids to be independent, happy, functioning, productive taxpayers. She sounds like she's well on the way and it is largely thanks to you.

    Last edited: Jan 23, 2009
  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Coongratulations to both of you! It sounds like you're a little burnt out- rightly so- and could use a little vacation to reflect on raising her and get her this far and just enjoy it and be proud!!

    I graduated high school a year early and I have to say, your daughter seems to have her head screwed on a lot better than I did at the time. For one, she starting at a community college, then planning to transfer. I thought I was "smart" enough to get into a college, so I should be able to start in that right off the batt. Needless to say, I didn't have the maturity as 18 yo's and I couldn't even do what 18yo's do. And, I think it's wise for her to say that she isn't sure what she wants to do- that's a whole lot better than diving into something and 3 years into it finding out that it isn't what she wants after all. The first year or two of college is a great time to leave those options open.

    She's doing good- just don't let her get married at 17 like I did, and quit college.
  6. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Congratulations mom on surviving her childhood! I think Marg summed it up very well. Now what? Now YOU get to focus a bit more on YOUR life! :D
  7. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    So much to reflect on isn't it. Every day is a challenge. You made it. I would be crying. Heck I cried because difficult child passed his first semester of High School Now has 4 credits down. I am terrified of the coming years. Reading YOUR reflection makes me want to cry some more. You did it. She did it. And I totally understand the bumpy road. You did good. Spend some time..much time being proud of yourself, all the work you put it (and difficult child) and be proud.
  8. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    A little bit of shock and awe. Take some time. You have done a great thing, a great job.
    I think with our kids Graduations, they get all of the glory. The Mom's are kind of left sitting there... not that you are looking for any Kuddos.
    But I imagine it leaves you with an empty feeling.
    Now is the soul searching time so to speak. I suppose. I think after every huge change like this we as Mom's go through this.

    These are good things. Towards a positive future hopefully for all of you!
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Dazed, I hear you!
    I think Marg phrased it well. It's like the end of an amazing performance.
    But there are more performances to come. :)
    I think it's great that your difficult child has concrete goals in mind--license, community college, teaching, job. I hope she can do them with-a minimum of drama. Sigh.

  10. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    I have always believed that there are no happy endings--only happy beginnings.

    So CONGRATULATIONS! on this new beginning...

    Off to college sounds like a wonderful new adventure.

  11. ML

    ML Guest

    Congratulations to both of you. I hope you can take some time to celebrate this major victory. I think that reflecting on the road that got you here is pretty natural. You inspire the rest of us to know that it *can* be done. Thank you for being a warrior parent that has gone before and shines as an example for the rest of us who have a way to go! PS I am NOT looking forward to MS.