For a month now, I've been trying to figure out why Matt had to go and do something stupid when things seemed to be looking up for him? Well he and I have been writing (snail mail...so retro) and it came out that he was doing drugs. While it makes sense now, I am really having a hard time wrapping my brain around him using. He took Tink away from me shortly after I left him (6 years ago, Tink had just turned 2) because I was smoking pot, and kept her till I got clean. He's never used a drug the entire time we were together and in fact has been very anti-drug. He says he was using coke. I just can't see it in my head. I know it sounds dumb but every time I think about it I am floored. Tink is so pragmatic about him being in jail. She definitely has his tenacity. But last night she had a little breadkdown. She climbed onto my lad and asked me to hold her like a baby. I did, and rocked her and kissed her forehead. She said "this feels nice, but I just wish you were my daddy". I don't know. I'm not looking for responses or advice, I'm just so flabberghasted.