Well the plot thickens...

[Big Bad Kitty]

For a month now, I've been trying to figure out why Matt had to go and do something stupid when things seemed to be looking up for him?

Well he and I have been writing (snail mail...so retro) and it came out that he was doing drugs. While it makes sense now, I am really having a hard time wrapping my brain around him using. He took Tink away from me shortly after I left him (6 years ago, Tink had just turned 2) because I was smoking pot, and kept her till I got clean. He's never used a drug the entire time we were together and in fact has been very anti-drug. He says he was using coke. I just can't see it in my head. I know it sounds dumb but every time I think about it I am floored.

Tink is so pragmatic about him being in jail. She definitely has his tenacity. But last night she had a little breadkdown. She climbed onto my lad and asked me to hold her like a baby. I did, and rocked her and kissed her forehead. She said "this feels nice, but I just wish you were my daddy".

I don't know. I'm not looking for responses or advice, I'm just so flabberghasted.

 

[tiredmommy]

{{{Hugs}}} I'm sorry that drugs have done this to you and Tink.

 

[mstang67chic]

Well he and I have been writing (snail mail...so retro) and it came out that he was doing drugs.

Honestly, my first thought is that you ARE communicating with Matt. No offense meant but.....how can you be sure that he's telling you the truth? Who's to say he's not telling you things that he thinks will get your sympathy and make you not so mad at him? "Oh poor me...I fell into that big bad horrible drug trap and this is what happened to me" instead of "Yeah, I messed up and this was something that I did....NOT something that happened to me."

No idea honestly but just thinking aloud.

And it really sounds like Tink is dealing well even with her breakdown. She sounds like she's really handling it in a mature manner.

Hugs to you both.

 

[gcvmom]

Flabbergasted by what he's claiming is the reason for his screw up?

Or flabbergasted by Tink's beyond-her-years maturity?

Or C, all of the above?

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Stang, I suppose anything is possible, and hey, he's BS'd me for YEARS. But, he said that Michelle knew a little about it (more evidence that she is brainless if she left her kid with him while he was high) so I suppose she could corroborate his story. He also is going for drug court, so I am guessing there is some truth to it. Also, he's been opening up to me about a lot of things.

GVC, I'm just not able to wrap my brain around the fact that he was doing coke. It is SO out of character for him. I guess I didin't know him as well as I thought I did. I mean especially after seeing the struggles I went through...I just don't get why he would even start.

But yeah, I am communicating with him. Maybe to a fault. I write to him nearly every day. And it's not "aw poor you" stuff. I tell him how mad I am at him, and how he is hurting not just Tink but all his kids. I tell him how tough things are here for me with him gone, and how selfish he is. And he agrees. I don't know, I just can't turn my back on the guy. I'm not sending him any money or accepting collect phone calls from him (save for the first one) but I'll write him a joke or send him a funny picture.

Maybe I'm just nuts. I'm definitely rambling.

 

[Hound dog]

Just shaking my head BBK. Flabbergasted right along with you.

(((hugs))) For both you and Tink

 

[Star*]

(inhales and holds breath while she types)

Maybe......he's see a light?

I don't know either - but if he doesn't see the "light" on his own - me and the Louisville slugger could help him. I know you love him - Just be very careful. Interesting he's reaching out to his X wife and not his WIFE.

Love you - leary of him.