Well, the PO surprised me today....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by klmno, Nov 17, 2008.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    The PO jumped all over difficult child's case - this was because about 3 weeks ago I called and left a message that he had left without permission and that he was having trouble getting to school on time. She had never returned my call. She had been saying things that undermined me a lot, but today, she laid into difficult child pretty good.

    She put him on house arrest- no monitor, so it's basicly grounding him to me- until he sees her again in 3 weeks. She told him if he does one thing out of line that she will report him to the judge for a violation of probation and the judge will put him in detention. Then, she said the judge probably would not commit him to state for this as long as he does not commit another criminal act.

    If that is true, I agree with that. I had been worried that he would have his suspended sentence to the state dept revoked for doing something like this. And, I was worried that the PO wasn't going to address anything he did wrong until it was to the point of revoking his suspended sentence. If she sticks by this, I am happy that she is giving a punishment, backing me up, but not taking it to the point of putting him away long term for this.

    Sheeewww- that makes me feel better!!

    I went to see a therapist today. This one os for myself and it's the first time I've met her. She was very nice but I don't think she's right for me. Oh well, you can't win them all!
  2. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    So glad that the PO backed you up and stuck to the plan. You must have been on pins and needles.

    As for the psychiatrist, sorry she's not the right one for you. Keep trying. The right one is out there...

  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    What a relief! It's about time!

    So sorry you didn't click with-the therapist.
    Sometimes, finding a good one is more work than the therapy itself!
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Thank you, Ladies! I wasn't happy when the PO started on a rant about her thinking "she believes there is a trigger and she knows what it is, it is that difficult child starts doing things like this and this is why he gets depression and anxiety". I tried to nip that in the bud right away by saying that this isn't what the counselors/psychiatrist think, sometimes there is no trigger, and it would be dealt with in counseling. She stopped and changed gears, although I don't think she really got the point I was trying to make.

    I've seen this in difficult child too many times not to notice that the mood changes first, then the behavior goes awry. It took about 18 mos for the school to see and admit that it isn't the bad behavior causing the mood change, it's the other way around. But, the main thing is she handled the punishment part in a way that I agree with.

    I still wish she could realize that she could stand to learn a few things about the mental health part- mainly- if you aren't an expert or have no experience in this, a person should keep their opinions to themselves and not try to play therapist.

    Yes, Terry, I whole-heartedly agree that the hardest part about therapy is the search for the right one.
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm glad the PO surprised you for the good today!! Sorry about not finding the right therapist. I know it can be so hit and miss. I had one I didn't like and it took me a long time to go to a new one but I love the one I have now.
  6. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    So glad.

    Sorry t-doctor did not fit the bill.......but keep searching. They are out there. When you find the right one - you will know it.
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am glad the idiot PO finally, FINALLY did back you up on something. I am also glad that it looks like if he screws up in a minor way it MIGHT not send him to state.

    I think that it will be HOPELESS to educate this PO about the mental health part. Getting her to back up your discipline will be hard enough.

    I hope difficult child is much chastened, and that it sparks a turn for the better.
  8. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Finally! I hope this works.

    Keep looking for that therapist. One will show up.
  9. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Glad the PO finally paid attention.

    Hoping you find a good therapist soon.
  10. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Glad the PO finally made a stand with difficult child. I agree with the poster that said it is usually hopeless to educate her about mental illness. Some of these folks think they can be the savior and get so wrapped up in that thought, that the needs of the child take a back seat.

    Keep searching for the right doctor......it'll make all the difference.

  11. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Well it was nice to read this! Even if she is clueless about Mental Illness. but we all know most people are!

    One of the police officers from where I moved from was quoted, when they were pushing for CIT training, that it was not needed, they *knew* enough and *knew* all they needed to know about Mental Illness. Most times it was just the family getting in the ways and too worked up!!!

    I have a list of therapist's for myself I am supposed to be calling also... it is from my psychiatrist so I am hoping they are good!
    It is hard, pouring out all of your *stuff* to them and then deciding it is not a right fit.
  12. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Yep, I know PO will never understand it- at least before difficult child turns 18. What bugs me is her insistence to put forth an opinion about it when I know she doesn't understand it. Like insisting that something definite is triggering this and SHE knows what it is. UH HUH. psychiatrist doesn', nor do I or the tdocs or school, but SHE has the magic answer and that magic answer is that difficult child quit caring. He quit caring and THAT caused depression and anxiety. Try telling that to all of us that have suffered from depression and anxiety!!

    Anyway, I sat here and did a faux research on more tdocs for myself. I talked with difficult child- he didn't go to school today. He slept half the day and has been on a major cleaning spree since. I would be more livid except that I can understand more than a lot of people realize. I can't sleep through the night, I don't wake up rested, I get up and push myself to go to work for some hours, then I feel absolutely exhausted.

    I read everyone's responses here, including Smallworld's on Special Education forum, and decided to move up difficult child's psychiatrist appointment. I started to make phone calls and the darn phone went bad. Apparently, we have been "charging" it on a bad charger. URGHH! So, it is moved now and I will have to wait until tomorrow am to call psychiatrist and another therapist.

    Oh well! We haven't quite thrown the towel in yet- it's just being held and dangled a whole lot lately!

    Thank you all for being here, "listening", offering advice and support!!