Well, we had 2 good days

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by StressedM0mma, Feb 6, 2013.

  1. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    And this morning she got up and was getting ready, and right when it was time to go, she came down with a "migraine" Yes, I put it in quotes. I just never know with difficult child. She always has invisible illnesses. She wanted me to take her after I got back from dropping off a huge donation to the children's hospital from the rescue I work with. Nice try sweety. I do not have to be there until after 10 this morning. So, I told her her options were to go and try to make it through, or she could stay home until husband had to leave for work, and he could drop her. He usually leave around 8;30-8:45. So she chose to have husband take her.

    I am at the point now that I just do not believe a word that comes out of her mouth. I just hate that. I feel like every single word out of her mouth is a lie. Why so they do this? I just want to smack her upside the head and say get over it. We have had the talk that other people go to school with illnesses, and that when she has a job, she cannot do this. And the response I get it "Mom, you just don't understand. Mine is way worse than anyone elses." Sound familiar to any of you?

    husband is going to be VERY unhappy when I tell him he has to take her. He really has nothing to do with her, and when his routine gets out of order... I will be blamed for this. Because since I do not work, difficult child is my responsibility while work is his. So, he can't be responsible for her too. I hae offered daily to switch with him. I keep telling him he has the easier of the 2. He vehemently disagrees.
  2. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    I tell my husband the same thing. While I understand that his job can be VERY stressful at times, he has no idea how stressful it can be to be home with difficult child. When difficult child comes to me in the morning with a headache, I dose him up with Advil and send him on his way. He says to me a lot, "When Dad has a headache he gets to stay home!" I tell him that Dads gets sick days. Students do not. I'm sorry your morning is starting out this way. I hope it gets better.
  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    but your job is 24/7 so must his be. if he wants things"even" then you get equal play time! you get to take off and do whatever like he does. Sorry but that burns me.
  4. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    And, I knew it. I just called husband, to let him know that he would have to take difficult child on his way to work, and he blew up on me. Saying there was no way he could do it. That he HAS to take a phone call at 9. We live 5 minutes from the school. How hard is this. This is the 1 day that I need to be somewhere, and they both know how very important this is to me. And, I have gotten zero cooperation. Instead, I have gotten a migraine, and screamed at over the phone that he shouldn't have to deal with this, that they shouldn't have made hime stay at work last night until 6:30, and they shouldn't have scheduled this phone mtg on Wed. at 9. because they know his favorite spinning class is on Wed. mornings. Can anyone say adult difficult child. I swear I am the only grown up in the house.
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

  6. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Hi Momma,
    I was looking at your signature and see that she was hospitalized exactly one year ago. Do you think coming up on that anniversary has anything to do with it? Does she possibly have seasonal affective disorder?
    I'm getting the sense that difficult child does this all the time, so maybe there is no connection, but that date just struck me.
    In any case, I'm so sorry.
  7. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    Ugh!! And what, exactly, does your husband think that screaming at you is going to accomplish? He needs to be part of the equation, too, and if the means taking her to school on occasion, then he need to put on his big boy underwear and do it! My husband does this, too, so I know how frustrating it is to be the only parent in the house when there are supposed to be two. Did he take her? Did she go to school, or will she give him a hard time about it?


    Buddy...you're so funny. Stressed...I hope your day gets better. There are many times that I feel like I'm the only adult in the house...lol
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    That's for sure!
    I'm glad that you at least had two days go well.
    The only thing that turned my son around was a girlfriend.
    I mean, I even had friends come over to the house and literally pull him out of bed.
    Most of the time, it worked to threaten him with-no video or computer if he stayed home. But not always.
    And then, there's always the time when the kid is telling the truth and you feel like the worst parent in the world.
  10. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    But of course, you expected today to be a problem, right?
    She just had a birthday, and... whamo. It hits them. At least... it does MINE.
    The "should be" and "gotta" and and and... they start beating themselves up.

    Hope she doesn't dig too big a hole.
  11. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    She ended up not going. I think if I had been home, I could have gotten her to go later, but I had to leave the house at 9:30, to see some people at the children's hospital about a Board I am on. So, I couldn't wait any longer than that. She said that she did work while I was gone but who really knows. I can't really trust her. And, I wonder about the seasonal affective, but it is a year round thing, just worse during the winter. It does not help that we are in N.E. Ohio where the sun never shines in the winter.

    And, no of course he didn't take her. And the thing is she won't push him as much when he does take her. We have family therapy tmrw, and this is so coming into play.