Well, well, well

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mstang67chic, Apr 20, 2009.

  1. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    husband called me at work today. (Why do these things always happen then? LOL) difficult child was at our house.......to get the rest of his things. (Is it horrible of me that the first thought I had was NOOOOOO, I'm enjoying the peace and quiet!!! He CAN'T come home!) I checked out his room when I got home and save for the stray sock and pair of boxers, it's bare except for his 4 stacked mattresses, my childhood desk (that is beyond repair) and the dresser. (Oh, and a comforter that I plan on burning. :sick: )

    It seems that he's also continuing to go to school. The parents of the friend he's staying with said he could live there but only if he went to school. (huh...gotta give them credit for that) husband and I don't think that they have the full story on difficult child but I imagine they will figure most of it out on their own eventually. If not, well then good for everyone.

    Oh and difficult child and his friend S tried to talk husband into letting them take Chester. (For those of you who haven't followed the threads on WC of the saga of the stray now known as Chester, he's a stray I found almost two weeks ago.) According to S, his dad got Chester out in the country somewhere but the dog got loose and wound up at our house. Ummmm.....that's quite the co-inkidink, don't you think? :tongue: husband told him we would have to talk to his dad first.

    difficult child also informed us that he now has a girlfriend which scares the daylights out of me. She's almost 17, he's 19 and I doubt her parents know how old he is. S's parents, we think, are also using difficult child as a live in baby sitter apparently. They are out of state and difficult child is there with S who is younger than difficult child as well as a younger sibling. Supposedly, they recently kicked their own oldest out so I guess they have the room for difficult child.

    Today was the first we've seen of difficult child since he stormed out last week. I think husband is still pretty surprised that difficult child hasn't come home yet and is still expcting it. Of course husband (bless his heart) is also still so surprised that difficult child lied about having his school work done from when he was in the psychiatric hospital. :slap: Helloooooooooo.....where have YOU been the past TEN YEARS? That's what he does! I just have to laugh at that or else I cry from frustration with the man.

    So, that's my update for now. I'm off to enjoy the fact that I have NORMAL doors locked in my house (front and back) and not my bedroom door.
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ohhhhh....I was almost afraid to open this thread...lol.

    I am pretty pleased with this news actually. Maybe, just maybe, difficult child can succeed living at his friends house. Sometimes it just happens that way. Cory's girlfriend came to us at 17 with no home of her own. Not comparing her to your difficult child because her situation was far worse as far as parents go but she needed a place to stay and we gave it to her and now she lives with Cory and she is doing fine basically on her own. Or well, I should say as Cory's dependent. Cory takes care of her. (I would say I dont know why a 22 year old would want to raise an 18 year old but I would be lying...lol)

    If your son can be of some use to this family such as babysitting, good for him. He is probably much better for them than he is for you. They always are...lol. If they can get him to finish school...what a bonus!

    Sounds like a win/win. Way To Go on the locks. I know how much that means. When Cory left the house, I just felt this peace when I left money on my dresser and it was still there the next day...lol.
  3. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Money? Heck, I was thrilled when I bought a $5 footlong at Subway and knew that the other half would still be in the frig the next day! LOL
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh I still cant trust that one...lol. Cory still regularly raids my fridge!
  5. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    At least he's not begging to come home.


    Enjoy your peace and your footlong.
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2009
  6. jbrain

    jbrain Member

    Enjoy your "normal" life and don't feel guilty for a moment! Sometimes our difficult children really have to be out of our homes and they actually do better that way. My difficult child 1 did not make any improvements in her life til she left our house. Her boyfriend insisted she get a job (we did too but were not successful) and she did. That did wonders for her self-esteem and we, her parents, saw that she actually could get and hold down a job. She proved that she was not as helpless or incapable as we had thought.


  7. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Chester belongs to S's dad and they found him in the country and he ran away and NO ONE has been looking for him?


    On the other hand - if THAT is the best concocted story that the TWO of them can come up with? YOU are waaaaaaaay ahead of that game.

    I'm with Janet - Dude hits our house like a buzzard on a gut wagon.
    I hid my moose poop and my Milano cookies.

    As far as the stuff he left behind? OMG - I left Dudes room for the longest time - like maybe a year and 1/2. I never went in - the big dog slept on his bed like he was mourning his absence for almost a year. IT was PITIFUL.

    Finally I decided if I didn't do something - I never would - so it's now my craft/computer, framing room. Dude walked in the first time and it was a very emotional moment. Of course we got the "Well I guess you're never wanting me back here again - dang." I said nothing. Then - "Well if I ever need to move back I guess I'll lay a mattress in the room you turned into a closet." Wha???? no......um.....well.....maybe....okay....I guess.....and so it went.

    Best of luck 'Stang -

    CHESTER? Chester Darlin' you dig in your toes baby! Text Pootie if you feel stressed out about this - you're home!
  8. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Star......we still haven't admitted Chester is ours.....erm....I mean that we can't find his owner. And he digs his toes in just fine, thank you very much. But usually his wittle toesies are dug in on your lap, your side (if you're in bed), your back....pretty much wherever he lands.

    I did see difficult child yesterday. I got home after he left from getting the rest of his stuff but he came back later to get a surge protector he had in the garage. He *snortchuckle* rang the doorbell and waited for the door to be answered, ASKED husband for the protector (probably since husband busted him when he tried to leave with MY old stereo earlier) and walked with us out to the garage. He wasn't even impatient and rude while husband looked for his keys so he could unlock the garage! LOL He only said one thing to me during his 2 minute stay but it was Love you Mom, bye instead of a suggestion regarding what I should do to/with myself! LOL
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Praise be to the heavens above! He has learned the requisite phrase of all adult children: "Love you Mom/Dad, Bye"

    I have heard that phrase in various voices so many times since mine have grown up. Now I hear it from children that I didnt even give birth to. Various girlfriend's, wives, and even just friends of the family! LOL. It must be a southern thing. But I do think it is wonderful when they become adult enough to learn to say I love you at the end of all contact. What growth!
  10. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Awww thanks Janet. But ... um... no. He's always said it. In fact, he's called me Mom since the second day we ever met him. We met him on a Friday for ...ohhhhh...1/2 hour to 45 minutes with his then foster mom. The next day we picked him up for a 2 week stay. It was an intro period for all of us really. His foster mom was going on vacation (kid free) and difficult child had no idea he was going to be eventually living with us. But within 4 or so hours (if that long) of picking him up, he was calling me mom.

    Come to think of it....he had to stay with some friends of ours for a few days when husband's grandfather died. It was only a few months after difficult child came to live with us but, as stated, he was calling me mom. He was at my friends for half a day before he asked if he could call HER mom.

    I hate to say it and I'm sure he means it in his own way but between the mom thing and saying I love you VERY early on, I don't put much stock in it. It's not that I don't believe it, I just don't get all gushy from it, you know? I know a lot of it (if not most of it) comes from his foster experience but still....I just can't bring myself to really believe in it.