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Well, we're going 'somewhere'.............
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 622504" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>RE, what a great phone call from your daughter. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>She is using tools. These are the tools available to her in jail, and she is reaching out, grasping them, and using them. What amazing things happen for us and to us when we are ready to do that. </p><p></p><p>It's almost like...maybe it IS like...she is in rehab. That is what I imagine can happen in rehab, IF the person is hungry for change and eager to learn something new. They drink it all up as fast as they can. They are giddy with it all. </p><p></p><p>I am so glad she is embracing this. Maybe it just takes this long---at her age of 41...it's HER TIME.</p><p></p><p>I so hope that is the case. </p><p></p><p>I have often observed that my son does MUCH better when he is in jail. When he's in rehab (having never really wanted to be there, yet, I don't believe), it feels like he's there, but he's not there. In jail, he gets physically clean, the "box" is very small, the rules are very clear with fat black lines around them, and he has few choices. And he does better. </p><p></p><p>Once he's "out" in the great big world, there are so many choices, and so much to be responsible for, and then, he can't do it. Or he chooses not to do it. Whatever the verbs are.</p><p></p><p>When I hear parents talk about teens who are addicted to drugs, one of the first things I think is this: Oh, I am so sorry on so many levels, but particularly because YOU have so many years ahead of you for this. I haven't heard of very many teens getting clean very quickly. I just wonder if they have the brain maturity to even have a real chance at it. It seems that there have to be "some years" under the person's belt, and that is different for all. </p><p></p><p>I know I've heard it said on this site that after 30 or so, not much changes. I so hope that isn't a norm. I so hope that people get it when they get it---just like we, also in recovery, can only get it when we can get it. And not before.</p><p></p><p>Miracles can and do happen. Maybe, by the grace of God, a miracle is happening with your daughter. </p><p></p><p>I love RE that you are still continuing on your path, being happy for this conversation and hopeful, but also keeping your head on straight. Maybe yes, maybe no. </p><p></p><p>Whatever happens, it is HER life to make good. She must walk the walk, do the work, stay the course, reach down deep inside herself and outside herself for the tools that are available to her, just for the asking. There are so many tools.</p><p></p><p>If we all would only use them. When we do, things change. </p><p></p><p>I am reminded: Just change one thing, for today. Just one. Good things will flow from that. </p><p></p><p>Cheers, RE! Cause to rest in this and be glad.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 622504, member: 17542"] RE, what a great phone call from your daughter. She is using tools. These are the tools available to her in jail, and she is reaching out, grasping them, and using them. What amazing things happen for us and to us when we are ready to do that. It's almost like...maybe it IS like...she is in rehab. That is what I imagine can happen in rehab, IF the person is hungry for change and eager to learn something new. They drink it all up as fast as they can. They are giddy with it all. I am so glad she is embracing this. Maybe it just takes this long---at her age of 41...it's HER TIME. I so hope that is the case. I have often observed that my son does MUCH better when he is in jail. When he's in rehab (having never really wanted to be there, yet, I don't believe), it feels like he's there, but he's not there. In jail, he gets physically clean, the "box" is very small, the rules are very clear with fat black lines around them, and he has few choices. And he does better. Once he's "out" in the great big world, there are so many choices, and so much to be responsible for, and then, he can't do it. Or he chooses not to do it. Whatever the verbs are. When I hear parents talk about teens who are addicted to drugs, one of the first things I think is this: Oh, I am so sorry on so many levels, but particularly because YOU have so many years ahead of you for this. I haven't heard of very many teens getting clean very quickly. I just wonder if they have the brain maturity to even have a real chance at it. It seems that there have to be "some years" under the person's belt, and that is different for all. I know I've heard it said on this site that after 30 or so, not much changes. I so hope that isn't a norm. I so hope that people get it when they get it---just like we, also in recovery, can only get it when we can get it. And not before. Miracles can and do happen. Maybe, by the grace of God, a miracle is happening with your daughter. I love RE that you are still continuing on your path, being happy for this conversation and hopeful, but also keeping your head on straight. Maybe yes, maybe no. Whatever happens, it is HER life to make good. She must walk the walk, do the work, stay the course, reach down deep inside herself and outside herself for the tools that are available to her, just for the asking. There are so many tools. If we all would only use them. When we do, things change. I am reminded: Just change one thing, for today. Just one. Good things will flow from that. Cheers, RE! Cause to rest in this and be glad. [/QUOTE]
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