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Substance Abuse
Went and did it to myself this time....
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<blockquote data-quote="KFld" data-source="post: 32496" data-attributes="member: 2442"><p>Don't kick yourself over this. You were reacting to what you are used to. It is going to take practice on both of your parts and he needs to know this also. You may just want to let him know this. Just keep it simple. Sorry about what happened this weekend, but it's going to take some getting used to for me also and it takes time to earn trust. Then perhaps him having to let you know when he is home would help the situation. His car wasn't home, you had no way of knowing he was. My difficult child always had to let me know when he came in, and my easy child daughter does now also. Maybe let him know that if he comes home before you, and his car isn't with him, he needs to leave a note on the table letting you know he's in. It's all about respect. You can't kick yourself for not being a mind reader. </p><p></p><p>I had a fit on my on my easy child daughter last week because when she comes home she needs to let us know and turn out the family room light, which is right outside my bedroom, before she goes to bed. We came up with this because one time I was in a dead sleep and didn't hear her when she told me she was home, then woke up panicking thinking she wasn't in. Now she turns the light off so if I wake up and don't remember her coming in, I know because the light is off. Last week she was tired, walked in and went to bed and I woke up and panicked. Went out in the living room and started calling her call phone, which she answered from her bedroom and SHE apologized to me for scaring me. She understood why I was mad because she knew it scared me. It's all a matter of respect, and if you want to live in my house, you need to have it. Stop beating yourself up and tell him you need to come up with a way for it not to happen again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KFld, post: 32496, member: 2442"] Don't kick yourself over this. You were reacting to what you are used to. It is going to take practice on both of your parts and he needs to know this also. You may just want to let him know this. Just keep it simple. Sorry about what happened this weekend, but it's going to take some getting used to for me also and it takes time to earn trust. Then perhaps him having to let you know when he is home would help the situation. His car wasn't home, you had no way of knowing he was. My difficult child always had to let me know when he came in, and my easy child daughter does now also. Maybe let him know that if he comes home before you, and his car isn't with him, he needs to leave a note on the table letting you know he's in. It's all about respect. You can't kick yourself for not being a mind reader. I had a fit on my on my easy child daughter last week because when she comes home she needs to let us know and turn out the family room light, which is right outside my bedroom, before she goes to bed. We came up with this because one time I was in a dead sleep and didn't hear her when she told me she was home, then woke up panicking thinking she wasn't in. Now she turns the light off so if I wake up and don't remember her coming in, I know because the light is off. Last week she was tired, walked in and went to bed and I woke up and panicked. Went out in the living room and started calling her call phone, which she answered from her bedroom and SHE apologized to me for scaring me. She understood why I was mad because she knew it scared me. It's all a matter of respect, and if you want to live in my house, you need to have it. Stop beating yourself up and tell him you need to come up with a way for it not to happen again. [/QUOTE]
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Went and did it to myself this time....
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