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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Went and did it to myself this time....
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<blockquote data-quote="HereWeGoAgain" data-source="post: 32555" data-attributes="member: 3485"><p>Hey Mikey, (doncha hate that commercial? I know I do) </p><p></p><p>I think I'm going to have to agree with the consensus here. I don't think you should be kicking yourself about this. Your invasion of his privacy was trifling, at most, and under the circumstances more than amply justified. I hear what you're saying about baby steps, you're not ready to take the "tough love" route, etc. My concern is that your fears of upsetting the apple cart have become a tool used to manipulate you. He knows he can use a minimum of cooperation to achieve a maximum of leniency.</p><p></p><p>You tried the kid gloves and he successfully hid his drug habit for two years. Can you or the therapist explain to him that an excessive sensitivity about his privacy is suspicious given past experience? There are indications in your other posts that some of this bluster is playacting and that deeper down he still cares what you think and wants boundaries. And it's not like you watch his every move, complaints about "stalking" notwithstanding. Our easy child kids would've been happy to get the degree of freedom he gets when they were 17.</p><p></p><p>Someone mentioned their difficult child's ability to sneak in by the window. Ours developed the same skill. We were clueless for a long time. Finally we found out and came up with a simple solution: walk into her room and check the bed. She screamed and hollered about no privacy but hey, she left us no choice. </p><p>Then later there were times she'd feed us a line about taking our car to work. She'd get back when she said she would alright but pleaded headache and went straight to her room -- cuz she was high as a kite and knew we'd catch on. I started checking the odometer on the car and her supposed hours at work against her paycheck (her jobs were fast-food type and repeatedly calling or going by to check up was not practical, although we did catch her out a time or two that way as well). Nowadays you can get GPS tracking on cars and cell phones too.</p><p></p><p>Bottom line, if he thinks he's being "stalked", he ain't seen nothing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HereWeGoAgain, post: 32555, member: 3485"] Hey Mikey, (doncha hate that commercial? I know I do) I think I'm going to have to agree with the consensus here. I don't think you should be kicking yourself about this. Your invasion of his privacy was trifling, at most, and under the circumstances more than amply justified. I hear what you're saying about baby steps, you're not ready to take the "tough love" route, etc. My concern is that your fears of upsetting the apple cart have become a tool used to manipulate you. He knows he can use a minimum of cooperation to achieve a maximum of leniency. You tried the kid gloves and he successfully hid his drug habit for two years. Can you or the therapist explain to him that an excessive sensitivity about his privacy is suspicious given past experience? There are indications in your other posts that some of this bluster is playacting and that deeper down he still cares what you think and wants boundaries. And it's not like you watch his every move, complaints about "stalking" notwithstanding. Our easy child kids would've been happy to get the degree of freedom he gets when they were 17. Someone mentioned their difficult child's ability to sneak in by the window. Ours developed the same skill. We were clueless for a long time. Finally we found out and came up with a simple solution: walk into her room and check the bed. She screamed and hollered about no privacy but hey, she left us no choice. Then later there were times she'd feed us a line about taking our car to work. She'd get back when she said she would alright but pleaded headache and went straight to her room -- cuz she was high as a kite and knew we'd catch on. I started checking the odometer on the car and her supposed hours at work against her paycheck (her jobs were fast-food type and repeatedly calling or going by to check up was not practical, although we did catch her out a time or two that way as well). Nowadays you can get GPS tracking on cars and cell phones too. Bottom line, if he thinks he's being "stalked", he ain't seen nothing. [/QUOTE]
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Substance Abuse
Went and did it to myself this time....
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