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Substance Abuse
Went and did it to myself this time....
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<blockquote data-quote="mom_in_training" data-source="post: 32581" data-attributes="member: 2727"><p>"Thank you very much for your reply, and the honest concern behind what you wrote. I appreciate it very much, and apologize if I seem a bit twitchy."</p><p></p><p>Mikey, I whole heartedly agree with all of what Hearthope said and am glad that you have some honest concern. Some have said that it seems that you are tip-toeing around some of what you should be very concerned about and I have to agree with that. I have been thinking the same thing but also thinking that you were digesting allot of the advice that has been given here and working on a plan that very well could remain the same or be revised to better suit your active plan. of course we all are very aware that these challenges come with many changes at any given point by our difficult children. You are grasping at whatever will work for your situation just like many of us here have been doing. Nobody has the answers to cure our difficult children from making bad choices. All we can do as parents is grasp at what we can find to aid our situation and run with it in the hopes that it will have a positive outcome for our troubled difficult children. I know the desperate feeling as many here do that our difficult children will eventually see the light and be the responsible people that we have raised up but I say this knowing that we can only guide our difficult children and provide the appropriate tools in the hopes that they grasp onto them and start making the right choices. We even as parents do not have the power to change our difficult children so yes we are faced with having to deal with trying to save them when we see that they are going down the wrong path with no guarantees. </p><p></p><p>When I first found out that my difficult child was smoking pot I put my foot down and forbid it period, No ifs ands or buts about it. I did in fact alert some of the parents that their kiddos were smoking pot and whatever they chose to do about it was in their court. There were times when I would see my difficult child hanging out with them across the street and I would not hesitate to just walk up to them and demand that difficult child go home and let them know that I will call the police to alert them of their drug use. I would tell the kids "Gee, I wonder what kind of drugs the police will find on you, Hmmmmm". Well they all decided that having the attention of the police was the last thing that they wanted and stopped coming around period. I knew that I had no way of stopping what my difficult child would be doing at school let alone who she was hanging out with but I knew that I could do all of that around our home. It bought me quite a bit of time as far as my difficult children pot smoking that did in fact stop for a long time and she became the responsible young person once again by going to school, Getting good grades, and she even got a job at that time. I also was doing random drug testing to aid in my efforts to guide her the right way. </p><p></p><p>Don't beat yourself up for what occurred, Let it go already..... You like the others were saying are used to having to deal with the no trust issues with your difficult child and its hard to get out of a pattern that you have have become accustomed to. He created the no trust as well as the parenting style that you have had to get accustomed to due to his bad choices. I will never agree with the fact that you know that he is smoking pot and is still in your home. You are right when you say that you have no control over his choices but to allow it to slide with him still being in your home in my eyes is wrong. We as parents have our own styles of parenting and I am not condemning your ways of parenting but I do know that I would not have a difficult child in my home knowing that he or she is smoking pot and dogging family events to be with his or her smoking buddys. I do not find drug use acceptable period and would not tolorate it for one minute knowingly. But that is me..... My difficult child knew the rules of being able to live in the comforts that I provide but opted to go astray, Her choice and yes its sad but I am in no way willing to compromise myself or her brothers well being or safety due to her bad choices.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mom_in_training, post: 32581, member: 2727"] "Thank you very much for your reply, and the honest concern behind what you wrote. I appreciate it very much, and apologize if I seem a bit twitchy." Mikey, I whole heartedly agree with all of what Hearthope said and am glad that you have some honest concern. Some have said that it seems that you are tip-toeing around some of what you should be very concerned about and I have to agree with that. I have been thinking the same thing but also thinking that you were digesting allot of the advice that has been given here and working on a plan that very well could remain the same or be revised to better suit your active plan. of course we all are very aware that these challenges come with many changes at any given point by our difficult children. You are grasping at whatever will work for your situation just like many of us here have been doing. Nobody has the answers to cure our difficult children from making bad choices. All we can do as parents is grasp at what we can find to aid our situation and run with it in the hopes that it will have a positive outcome for our troubled difficult children. I know the desperate feeling as many here do that our difficult children will eventually see the light and be the responsible people that we have raised up but I say this knowing that we can only guide our difficult children and provide the appropriate tools in the hopes that they grasp onto them and start making the right choices. We even as parents do not have the power to change our difficult children so yes we are faced with having to deal with trying to save them when we see that they are going down the wrong path with no guarantees. When I first found out that my difficult child was smoking pot I put my foot down and forbid it period, No ifs ands or buts about it. I did in fact alert some of the parents that their kiddos were smoking pot and whatever they chose to do about it was in their court. There were times when I would see my difficult child hanging out with them across the street and I would not hesitate to just walk up to them and demand that difficult child go home and let them know that I will call the police to alert them of their drug use. I would tell the kids "Gee, I wonder what kind of drugs the police will find on you, Hmmmmm". Well they all decided that having the attention of the police was the last thing that they wanted and stopped coming around period. I knew that I had no way of stopping what my difficult child would be doing at school let alone who she was hanging out with but I knew that I could do all of that around our home. It bought me quite a bit of time as far as my difficult children pot smoking that did in fact stop for a long time and she became the responsible young person once again by going to school, Getting good grades, and she even got a job at that time. I also was doing random drug testing to aid in my efforts to guide her the right way. Don't beat yourself up for what occurred, Let it go already..... You like the others were saying are used to having to deal with the no trust issues with your difficult child and its hard to get out of a pattern that you have have become accustomed to. He created the no trust as well as the parenting style that you have had to get accustomed to due to his bad choices. I will never agree with the fact that you know that he is smoking pot and is still in your home. You are right when you say that you have no control over his choices but to allow it to slide with him still being in your home in my eyes is wrong. We as parents have our own styles of parenting and I am not condemning your ways of parenting but I do know that I would not have a difficult child in my home knowing that he or she is smoking pot and dogging family events to be with his or her smoking buddys. I do not find drug use acceptable period and would not tolorate it for one minute knowingly. But that is me..... My difficult child knew the rules of being able to live in the comforts that I provide but opted to go astray, Her choice and yes its sad but I am in no way willing to compromise myself or her brothers well being or safety due to her bad choices. [/QUOTE]
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