went off on psychiatrist's office

[buddy]

Q had another rage this morning and I have a broken bedroom door and perhaps a broken toe...it is all black and blue. I finally went to my car and told him I was leaving (knowing he is a chicken) he followed and got in the car and I drove to a park. I told him to get out and take a walk and I would go get a soda for him. He was happy about that. while gone (a block away) I called the doctor office and they said well I can leave a message and I said I have done that for five days now....I need help now and if she is too busy then I need to know a referral name that can take over his care today. Her nurse then called me right back and said she had received my message last friday but figured I would call back and I again went off about how I had called back each and every day since then, following the directions and promises given by the doctor that she would talk to me, plan for a medication switch while we had the week off etc. UGGG I was so pi$$ed off.

So, we are starting to reduce the lithium now and they gave me samples of zyprexa dissolving tabs (10 mg) for a rescue medication if he becomes aggressive (that is what they use in their out patient program). Since he has had problems on risperdal and seroquel I am not super excited about this but I am willing to try and just call for an ambulance if he goes nuts.... at this point I have nothing to lose. (well except all the plans made and hope that a new school placement would help. just so frustrating)

We walked around some stores and he did well until the transition again. Came home and he started perseverating again and again. followed me upstairs (I basically hide away from him and my house is falling apart because doing anything while he is so agitated is useless) and grabbed my purse said he was going to go after me again because he is "on the bubble" (uses a TON of phrases over and over the past week....some appropriate to the situation others just make no sense).... This kid needs his anxiety to go way way down.... I have had enough. Breaks my heart for him and I would lose my house etc. if he has to go to a residential placement but I can't risk his doing something that will ruin his life, not to mention mine.

So, I gave him the medication at 3:22 when he started kicking off again. IT is 4:21 now. He has twice started to escalate but is doing a bunch of things like arranging his room and asking if I think he is turning things around. Asking me questions like he used to and saying he is going to show me he can do better. Maybe it slowed his thinking down enough to help him. I hope so.

 

[InsaneCdn]

{{hugs}}

 

[TeDo]

I hope so too. I don't know much about Zyprexa so can't offer anything there. I know it is so hard when our kids are like this. It makes it hard to even want to try to help them anymore but.....we do because we love them so much. You're right, he NEEDS his routine back and you NEED some respite. Definitely call an ambulance if this continues. YOUR safety is just as important as his. I hope the medication keeps his "thinking" under control for the rest of the day. Does he go with Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) today?

 

[buddy]

I hope so too. I don't know much about Zyprexa so can't offer anything there. I know it is so hard when our kids are like this. It makes it hard to even want to try to help them anymore but.....we do because we love them so much. You're right, he NEEDS his routine back and you NEED some respite. Definitely call an ambulance if this continues. YOUR safety is just as important as his. I hope the medication keeps his "thinking" under control for the rest of the day. Does he go with Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) today?

nope and I am glad. The transitions to and from home are the worst.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Buddy -
I don't know what the rules are, but I'm thinking your advocate needs to look in getting different rules for you. The whole thing about them paying for you to care for him? The equation works if you have TWO parents, and one works, and the other gives up employment to care for the child. Together, they take the parenting load, including providing "relief" for the full-time parent. If child has to go into psychiatric hospital, for example, they still have one salary.

With Q? In reality, if he didn't have you, he'd need 24/7 coverage, at almost a 1:1 level, and they would be paying for that. They need to adjust their funding formula for kids like Q - the highly exceptional cases. These kids need stability - something you can't provide when you're barely flying under the radar...

JMO, of course.

 

[TeDo]

I was just thinking you could use the break.

{{{{(((HUGS)))}}}}

 

[buddy]

I agree, it is that way per family. So even if a family has four special needs kids and two adults they can receive up to 40 hours of parental pay. (true also for spousal care if you are married and your spouse has a brain injury, you can be paid to care for him).

If he can get into his program and it goes better.... and I dont have to leave to get him weekly, I could get a job along with the parental pay.

Luckily I live in a pretty responsive county but I already used an emergency fund and it is only allowed once per twelve months. It is pretty scary.

 

[pasajes4]

YOU need some relief. He needs some relief. Do what you have to do. I would start looking for a new psychiatrist.

 

[Ktllc]

Don't know what to tell you... sending lots of hugs.

 

[JJJ]

Zyprexa can be a good medication. It does have its side effects but it worked well for Tigger years ago.

 

[buddy]

he fell asleep after reorganizing some things in his room. Heard me down stairs and woke up and asked for food so I got him some supper. He was impatient but not aggressive. THAT I can handle.

 

[TeDo]

That's good. Was the Zyprexa you gave him or was it his prn? Just curious.

 

[buddy]

I gave him the zyprexa at 3:22 (was in the car and sure he was going to kick off again by the way he was perseverating again.... so I quick gave it to him and noted the time).... so stupid I am like hiding in my bedroom.... letting him have the living room and not cleaning or anything... our house is a disaster STILL. I HATE it. but I just cant face his complaining about the noise, asking questions to provoke me etc. Just need to hold on until we get through this. Hope we actually do.

 

[Rabbit]

Sending Hugs

 

[DDD]

I can't put in words how deeply I feel for you. It has been years and years and the "isolation" comes back to me like yesterday. How I wish I could do something more than listen. Hugs. DDD

 

[TeDo]

Your patience, forced or not, never ceases to amaze me. I don't know if I could handle the level of aggression you are dealing with on a daily basis. This is all so NOT fair for both of you. It makes me even MORE angry with that d*** school. Have you heard anything from the new program yet or are they ALL on Spring break?

 

[buddy]

everyone is on break... at least we are all out the same week or it would have been them for a week then us for a week etc. Already he will be lucky to have a month and a half of school... uggg

 

[StressedM0mma]

Oh Buddy. You have such patience. I cannot fathom how you keep calm through this. You deserve a break.. I cannot imagine how stressed Q must be without any definite schedule to follow. I hope things are better tomorrow. HUGS. I really hope that th eZyprexa continues to work.

 

[Marguerite]

I know this might sound crazy, but I wouldn't be rushing to get a new doctor. You've fought the battles now and made your point, I suspect the doctor's staff now understand that you do not 'cry wolf' and will be more inclined to patch you through next time you ring and say, "Remember last time? I need to talk to the doctor TODAY. I was told to call if things went bad again."

I always found there was a tricky teething period with a new doctor. I'll put up with a lot of crud until I have them housetrained. But if the doctor won't be housetrained or won't give us what we need, then once I realise this for certain, I move on.

Move on too soon and you keep reinventing the wheel.

But if they have not changed, then definitely ask for a referral.

Marg

 

[DammitJanet]

That fast acting zyprexa may be a godsend. It dissolves instantly and gets into the blood stream through the mucus membranes of the mouth. Much faster than through the stomach. If this doesnt work then ask about klonopin melttabs that do the same thing since this seems to be an anxiety issue. But of course you have to check that enzyme thing.