went thru old evaluations.....I often forget who she is.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jena, Feb 1, 2009.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi!! :)

    So, today I had to go through all my difficult child paperwork. I have more documents to deliver to the district office tmrw in regards to difficult child and hopefully getting an iep in place very soon. I'm trying to provide them with all her diagnosis and evaluations to avoid them testing her again and putting her thru that additional stress. That she does not need now.

    So, I often forget what it is i'm dealing with, because to me she's just my little girl. Yet going through it all, dating back to about 3 or 4 years ago difficult child has:

    anxiety disorder, social anxiety, sep anxiety, adhd, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), intermittant explosive disorder, chronic tic disorder, panic disorder, sensory issues, major depressive disorder, and the recent bipolar disorder.

    It also states on many of the docs' and the evaluations done by her previous teachers how difficult child, as well as several docs' who evald' difficult child that her auditory memory is weak, and shows significant defencies, executive functioning is huge problem also.

    Doesn't it seem for the most part we can take the explosive disorder, depressive disorder and include that into the bipolar???

    If this isn't enough to warrant an IEP than I do not know what is. It's odd because as I said and i'm sure many of us as well function with our kids day to day best we can. I often forget that she's got all of this.

    Also the second to last evaluation the neuro pysch evaluation (she wasn't too sharp by the way; she really wasn't insightful to be very honest) stated how difficult child's issues are "situational, and social emotional"??? unreal.

    Thats all my ex husband with whom at the time attacked me verbally in the office infront of her stating how we moved, etc. and any changes that went on in her life were indicative of her supposed disorders. Meanwhile back at the ranch the man can't handle her more than 48 hours twice a week.

    I'm seriously considering a specialized school for her. I'd love to show link but we aren't allowed to do that. to get everyone's feedback. It's specifically designed around kids with anxiety and depression and high functioning autism. difficult child is reluctant to leave her one friend with whom quite honestly abuses her most of the time. She isnt' very nice to difficult child. I just feel with my heart that if difficult child has the opportunity to be around children similar to herself she will be able to make some true freindships so much easier. She did have a good friend a while ago back in our old neighborhood, yet even that was rough at times with ways difficult child would behave and stuff.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Jennifer, your post really moved me.
    If I could afford to send my son to that sort of school, I'd probably do it. Those types of kids are the friends he makes anyway. Nothing will change his disorder and since he's most comfortable around kids like himself, why not help him fit in? Most of his friends in school are from his special classes, although he isn't in them anymore (other than one Learning Disability (LD) study hall).
    Go with your mom gut. You daughter is different...and very special and precious. If you feel it's best for her...it probably is. Good luck.
  3. Jena

    Jena New Member


    it is funny how our kids connect and gravitate towards kids similar to themselves. they feel comfortable with the familiarity of it i'm sure.

    this school i'm thinking of isn't private. it's offered through new york state, i cant' post the name. Yet to me it's an easy decision. I've often felt that I need to continuously raise the bar for difficult child so that she continues to strive. Yet as of late my mind regarding this is changing. Who knows maybe it's the influence of my new job also. difficult child can create whatever world works best for her when she grows. If she requires a low stress position that is exactly what she can get, etc. I keep feeling like i gotta build her up so the cruel world wont' eat her up.

    yet i think i'm lowering the bar once again. I guess its my own stubborness at hand as well to an extent. I wanted her mainstreamed, yet hey it's soo not working. Since pre-k till now we have so many social issues, not connecting, now failing the ela's standardized testing, its' high time. we have another year and a half where we are. we shall see. :)
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi again...lol. If they had a public school here, I'd do it. I've found that my son isn't going to mingle with a typical crowd of kids anyway. Not all kids on the spectrum are that affected; some seem quite normal. My son can seem quite normal too...lol. He isn't going to either copy the outgoing jock, want to BE like him, or hang around with him...so why push it? I think self-esteem is very important and my son seems to have some, in spite of knowing he is "wired differently." I do think it's case-by-case. But it wouldn't hurt MY child at all-he'd love it. And you know better than anyone (I truly believe this) what setting is best for your daughter. Some of our kids get bullied, teased and belittled and I think that's horrible for ANY child--kids DO gravitate towards kids who are like they are. This is even the case with typical kids--the band kids, the jocks, the theatre group, etc. Why not the quiet, deep kids? LOL. That's how I think of my son. He is a still water who runs deep and very comfy cozy with kids who are like him, as most people are ;)
  5. Janna

    Janna New Member

    First off, whatever her diagnosis is, it doesn't matter. If she needs an IEP she needs an IEP. J has one, with an ADHD diagnosis, and no real behavioral issues. But, because he is a little behind in academics, he has one. So, whatever they're calling your daughter, that makes no difference, if she's entitled to one, she's entitled to one. Bipolar or not.

    I can tell you, you cannot just put your daughter into a specialized school (unless you're going to pay out of pocket for it, of course). I'm working on this now with our S.D., and I have an Advocate and attorney. The S.D. is going to try to place her anywhere and everywhere they can first, within the District, to keep her learning. Whether that be Emotional Support classes or what have you. I have been trying to get D into an Autism SPECIFIC school for 2 long years. And, they keep messing around. I have to threaten to sue them - go to Due Process - to get them to even consider it. And even then, they say, "we can put him in one of our Autism rooms before we'll put him at XYZ School". Schools don't want to spend the money, so unless you are - prepare for a fight :( Sorry.

    You didn't mention how she's doing academically. Is she up to speed with her grades? If it's all social/anxiety issues - why not get her someone (PCA, 1:1, TSS) to help her socialize? I know, sometimes that doesn't even work (we're working on that, now, too LOL) - but it's worth a shot.

    I've had D in "specialized" stuff. He's in a partial now. Honestly, he's probably been denied more social skills in these "specialized" things moreso than if he was in regular education. And, truthfully, my Asperger/Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified/anxiety coming out of his ears kid - I'm fighting for him to go back to mainstream. Because, at 12, he just wants "a normal life with normal kids and normal friends like a normal person". It didnt bother him at 9. But, it's bothering him now.

    *sigh* Hope you get what you really want. Make sure you write down EVERYTHING and keep EVERY PIECE of paper. Might want to think about finding an Advocate too (for the IEP - call your state's Dept of Education and ask how you can obtain one).

    Good luck
  6. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Is this a special school where kids are placed through their IEPs?

    If so, then you first need to get an IEP. The dxes on their own will not get you an IEP. You must prove that the dxes are having a significant impact on your daughter's ability to access her education. This is very difficult to prove, especially in a school that seems not to want to admit your daughter even has a disability.

    Once you have an IEP but want a placement other than your home school, you need to prove that the current school is not able to meet the educational needs of your daughter. All placements must be done in the "least restrictive environment." If your home school has Special Education paraeducators or self-contained classrooms, the school might try these options before placing your daughter in a special school.

    Are you bringing an educational advocate to your meeting?
  7. Jena

    Jena New Member


    Midwest Mom - I whole heartedly agree with what you said, and thats sweet about a still water thing you wrote. So very very true with our little ppl. Gotta love them, their some of the great thinkers of tmrw. in my mind.

    Janna - Hi, I"m sorry you are having such trouble with placing your difficult child in a school you do want, it's horrible what the education system does and the fact that they fight the way in which they do. It's like a smack in the face to us parents who battle so hard for our children who are so very deserving of the provisions and services.

    I'll get her in, i made previous contacts before becoming a parent advocate when i worked as a paralegal from home i had the opportunity to meet several of the principals in these particular group of schools offered to kids with an iep or 504 in place which i'll def have by then. Her diagnosis's i only listed because i see her as her without all the mumbo jumbo that was the initial intent of my thread. That there are times when she'll act a certain way and i'm like hm why is she acting this way? LOL than i'll have to go back to the diagnosis's and obvious issues. Kinda funny i know yet she is who she is to me. Just different, yet highly teachable and will def reach whatever goals she sets just in a different way and pace.

    she failed the ela's it's a standardized set of tests here in new york they administer to the kids. It's their way of obtaining not only their school placement on list of best to worst yet it also helps them place the children for the following year as well. Their bs many of us parents feel here. Alot of our kids are not good test takers, so this ridiculous week long test is not a good indicator of the type of student that they are or arent yet that is how the school does it. She'll def get an iep no doubt in my mind. :) and if i have to claw my way into the school i'm looking at than so be it also.

    I want to do more than just get the iep for difficult child, i want this school to open their eyes to our special needs kids, the services they require and the fact that the school covers up bad behaviors to an extent to dismiss the need for those services.

    smallworld. - yes it is a school that is needed thru having either an iep or a 504 which i will def have in place by than. As far as bringing someone with me, i'm bringing a team leader therapist from my office and another parent advocate i work with. yet i don't think i'll need it yet better safe than sorry.

    The school doesn't have self contained classrooms or inclusion rooms at all. Their model for children with a disablity of an emotional kind is a para or aide that sits in the room with them to observe. Can you imagine?? Their very archaic did i spell that right lol in their beliefs or lack thereof. they do adhd or add well, their actually excellent with speech therapy yet that's it. They just don't get it. On second thought i am going to need major back up with me. This school waivers in their beliefs and attitude regarding difficult child and her needs or their belief of her diagnosis and behaviors.

    It's odd becuase a new school pyschologist started the beginning of this year. When he started everything changed. it was so so odd. Last year I had the staff, teacher apologizing to me for second guessing me, and for also not realizing the severity of difficult child's illness. i walked in this year they denied those comments, it was just so odd.

    I'm ready for battle if need be.
  8. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    You can't get a special placement with a 504. A 504 only allows accommodations, not services. You will need an IEP.
  9. Jena

    Jena New Member

    i know thanks, that's what i put my request in for. I want the real deal, difficult child's going to need it moving forward anyway.