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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 652241" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I think this is the crux of what is happening, Going. The anger you feel is not ridiculous. It is composed of shame at and for your sister, of rage at her putting your mother in this situation instead of taking responsibility for herself, and of great, bottomless sorrow at what all of this means for each of you, for your whole family.</p><p></p><p>You are correct, in your anger.</p><p></p><p>Beneath it is sorrow.</p><p></p><p>Here is something that helps me. (And we all know how well-adjusted I am.)</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>"And you must be able to bear your sorrow; even if it seems to crush you, you will be able to stand up again, for human beings are so strong and your sorrow must become an integral part of yourself, part of your body and your soul, you mustn't run away from it, but bear it like an adult. Do not relieve your feelings through hatred, do not seek to be avenged....</p><p></p><p>Give your sorrow all the space and shelter that it is due, for if everyone bears his grief honestly and courageously, the sorrow that now fills the world will abate. But if you do not create a decent place for your sorrow, and instead reserve most of the space inside you for hatred and thoughts of revenge ~ from which new sorrows will be born for others ~ then sorrow will never cease in this world and multiply. And if you have given sorrow the space its gentle origins demand, then you may truly say: life is beautiful, and so rich. So beautiful and so rich that it makes you want to believe in God."</p><p></p><p>The Diaries of Etty Hilesum</p><p></p><p>Etty Hilesum was a young Jewish woman. The diaries chronicle the changes in her outlook and perceptions as she was targeted during the Holocaust. </p><p></p><p>Her diaries were found and published, posthumously.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 652241, member: 17461"] I think this is the crux of what is happening, Going. The anger you feel is not ridiculous. It is composed of shame at and for your sister, of rage at her putting your mother in this situation instead of taking responsibility for herself, and of great, bottomless sorrow at what all of this means for each of you, for your whole family. You are correct, in your anger. Beneath it is sorrow. Here is something that helps me. (And we all know how well-adjusted I am.) :O) "And you must be able to bear your sorrow; even if it seems to crush you, you will be able to stand up again, for human beings are so strong and your sorrow must become an integral part of yourself, part of your body and your soul, you mustn't run away from it, but bear it like an adult. Do not relieve your feelings through hatred, do not seek to be avenged.... Give your sorrow all the space and shelter that it is due, for if everyone bears his grief honestly and courageously, the sorrow that now fills the world will abate. But if you do not create a decent place for your sorrow, and instead reserve most of the space inside you for hatred and thoughts of revenge ~ from which new sorrows will be born for others ~ then sorrow will never cease in this world and multiply. And if you have given sorrow the space its gentle origins demand, then you may truly say: life is beautiful, and so rich. So beautiful and so rich that it makes you want to believe in God." The Diaries of Etty Hilesum Etty Hilesum was a young Jewish woman. The diaries chronicle the changes in her outlook and perceptions as she was targeted during the Holocaust. Her diaries were found and published, posthumously. [/QUOTE]
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