Went to a smart recovery meeting

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Kathy813, Apr 19, 2012.

  1. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Part of difficult child's contract to live at home is daily meetings. She doesn't like AA and NA because of the religious aspect. We researched non 12 step meetiings and found Smart Recovery. The meetings are more in line with the DBT program where they emphasize mindful behaviors. difficult child wanted me to go with her because she seems terrified of going to meetings by herself. She said she always had someone to go with before.

    difficult child does have an anxiety disorder and I see it more and more now that she is living back at home. She also talked about it at our DBT meeting this week. We went with her to hammer out the details of the contract.

    Back to the Smart Recovery meeting. It wasn't formal at all. It was run by a counselor who specializes in addiction. Basically each person talked about their week and stresses and challenges to sobriety. They were very welcoming. difficult child didn't say anything when it was her turn. She just said her name and that she was there to listen.

    One 19-year-old boy broke my heart. He was fresh out of jail and was trying to go cold turkey from oxycodone, xanax, and alcohol. He described what he was going through and it was horrific. He didn't have any insurance to help him detox. He described his family history and it turned out that both of his parents were addicts (the father is now deceased) as well as his grandmother who he now lives with. I don't think he is going to make it and it was so very sad.

    I really liked the counselor. I think that she may be what I have been looking for. I want someone that husband and I can go to and talk about how difficult child's addictions and mental illness have impacted us. We also need help distinguishing between helping her and enabling her.

    I liked it a lot better than Al-anon. I asked if they had a parent group and she said that she was thinking about starting one. One thing that she was big on was cross talk. She said she didn't get the whole AA concept of having to sit quietly through a meeting just listening to others. She said we should learn from one another and often the guidance from others in the meetings is better than she can offer.

  2. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Oh Kathy, it sounds really nice. I am so hopeful for you and daughter, and so glad your daughter is turning to you instead of substances. Fingers crossed
  3. garrison

    garrison New Member

    Sounds nice! Women for sobriety is a great program too. It's nice to have choices. I hope this works for your daughter.

  4. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Kathy, I'm glad for your daughter, although I'm sure it must be so tough for her. Terribly sad for the 19 y/o who was in the meeting - very, very hard, but he's getting himself to a meeting despite all his challenges - he just might make it.
    I'm hoping your family is doing better. Would like to know more about Smart Recovery. Thanks.
  5. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm glad you found a support group that sounds like it will be helpful. I always thought a cross talk group was much better and I'm not for all the structure in some of the groups. Too many rules and not enough help for me.

    It sounds hopeful Kathy.

  6. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    That sounds like a good group!
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    That does sound hopeful, Kathy. It would be great is your whole family could benefit from one philosophy of help. Hugs DDD
  8. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Calamity Jane, here is the link to the website so you can read about Smart Recovery.


    Unfortunately, it is much smaller than NA/AA so there are not nearly as many meeting choices. For us, there are three meetings a week in our area.

    Garrison, I found Women for Sobriety when I was searching non 12-step groups. I emailed them to find out if there were any meetings in our area but there aren't any. It sounds like a great program, though.
  9. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Thank you Kathy...I checked it out. There actually is an open meeting in our area.
  10. buddy

    buddy New Member

    That is really good news. I hope she can build some trust and her anxiety is reduced as she continues to go there. HUGS....pulling for you and difficult child.
  11. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I am glad you found something that is a better fit for you and daughter. -RM
  12. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Good morning Kathy, I am happy to hear you found a group you feel will help you. I think the therapy group I'm in was enormously helpful for me in the process I went through with my difficult child. I put myself in this program last Oct. when I knew the situation with my difficult child was heating up. I actually like going because it does exactly what you said you are looking for, a place to talk about the impact a difficult child has on our lives and help in distinguishing between helping and enabling. I agree about the cross-talk thing too, in our therapy group we give each other feedback and sometimes that's the most valuable part for me. I'm glad you found another "soft place to land."