Went to our family doctor yesterday...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by misskrystal, Oct 30, 2008.

  1. misskrystal

    misskrystal New Member

    All I can start off with is a sigh.
    mother in law went with me because she wanted to address her concerns from when Hayley stayed the weekend. I honestly wasn't even going to bring anything up with him because I feel that he doesn't know his stuff when it comes to behavior problems. SO.... I was wanting to know what was up with difficult child and her constipation. Well he said that I was supposed to be giving her this medicine everyday. I said "No the other doctor said give it to her twice and if she seems to back up again, dose her again." I wasn't comfortable with that so I brought her back in. "No, you are supposed to give it to her everyday, I don't care if she has to take it for six months. She is really backed up and has to keep taking it." First off I thought, ummm I thought you werent supposed to take anything that is a laxative for that long because your body wont do it's own thing after a while. mother in law asked why she is like that. He said, "Oh little girls do that sometimes."
    So mother in law brought up difficult child and her hanging upside down. He laughed and said "She's just a kid." mother in law said, "What about being all over the place and not sitting still?" His response? "She just likes to have fun."

    They start talking about schoolwork and he said, well if she is doing good in school I am not worried. This was the first moment I spoke. I said, "She isn't." I have told him millions of times. But he doesn't ever remember. So he says, "Well I won't do anything until the school says there is a problem." :confused: SOOO...it doesn't matter what I say, I guess the school is gospel and I am chopped liver..... :mad: He told mother in law. If we find she needs something we will start out slow." Well we went through this before and he put her on Strattera, which he promised to up after a month. I hate Strattera but was willing to give it a shot again if he was going to give her a bigger dose. But when husband had taken her in he wouldn't up it.

    I told mother in law, "I told you he wouldn't believe us." She says, "Oh, I think he did." :surprise: Grr I am so mad. It's really starting to make me feel like I am losing my mind. It makes me feel like maybe I am making it all up. I mean I know I am not, but I start to doubt myself. So I am tired of this ****. He was supposed to get us into Childrens Mercy three different times now. He would tell me, "Yeah they will call you." And nothing. There are no Occupational Therapist (OT)'s here, I live in a small town 2 hours away from any large city. I don't know what the heck to do. Last time I called Childrens Mercy they said it would be 12 months to get in.:angry-very::whiteflag:
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    How very frustrating. I think I would be looking for a new doctor. Hugs.
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Has she ever been evaluated by somebody other than a pediatrician? They don't really understand childhood disorders. Their specialty is sore throats and stuff. I'd ask for a neuropsychologist evaluation. I think you're right and they aren't. I wouldn't bring mother in law with me to any evaluation by the way. I'd just go alone or with hub, if he sees the problem.
  4. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Please get her on the waiting list at Children's Mercy. Then keep looking for other options but at least you 'on the list'.
  5. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Family docs really don't have the expertise to deal with these issues. So many of us have experienced doctors who don't believe us and just think we, the parents, are being dramatic.

    My daughter is so reserved that even the tdocs have a hard time getting it. I remember one time difficult child having a total meltdown/rage after leaving one therapist appointment and I called him to find out WTH had happened because it was so unexpected. She was upstairs in her room with the door closed in full blown rage, I was downstairs leaving a voicemail for the therapist and he could hear her screaming. He called the next day and was just, "Wow." Uh huh. Told ya.

    You need someone who is trained to evaluate these issues objectively. This doctor isn't it.
  6. mom_to_3

    mom_to_3 Active Member

    You know, we went thru the same thing. When my difficult child was young, I really didn't know what was going on, what to call it, or where to go. I just knew something was wrong! If your child is in school, ask the teacher to write a summary about your child. Her observations physically, academically, socially and behaviorally. If you could write down a list of concerns to take with you, you'll be in a better position to explain what the problem is. I agree, a neuropsychiatrist is probably the best place to go. I would also look into a child psychiatrist. I have no idea about where you are located, but maybe this link would give you a starting point? http://pd.kansascity.com/sp?skin=&aff=1109&keywords=mental%20health Good luck and you will have to persevere to get the help your child needs.
  7. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Definitely get on the waiting list for Mercy's. Also, call them weekly and ask if there's been a cancellation.

    Sadly, some people just don't get it. MILs are hopeful that they've been heard. Docs don't want to admit they don't know it all. And so on and so forth.

    Getting her teacher to do a daily behavior journal is a great idea. It's certainly worth asking for. Ditto doing a daily journal for at home behavior. If possible, try to record when she's raging or just really bouncing off the walls. Sometimes the pics get the message across far better than anything we can say. Of course, if she knows she's being recorded, the odds are the actions will stop, so you have to be sneaky.

    Hang in there. It isn't you. Your daughter has problems and needs help. Learn to wear the armor and become a warrior mom. It ain't fun and it ain't easy, but it will pay off. HUGS
  8. mom_to_3

    mom_to_3 Active Member

    I was just thinking...............and thought I'd share a recent experience. Our 4yr. old grandson has been living with us for the last 4 months or so. Yes, he has issues. I'm a seasoned mother and now grandmother, his mother taught me well.

    Our grandson has medicaid for insurance so he is limited where he can be seen. He is seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist. Our grandson is for sure ADD and has huge boundary issues in almost every sense of the word. He was too much for both the psychiatrist and therapist. They both drew lines on the floor and told him not to come any closer and he had the attention span of a gnat! I did not discipline or reign him in at all because I wanted them to see the "real" him in all his glory. They did get to see the "real" him.

    I thought both the psychiatrist and the therapist are good, but you know what? Even after me telling them the problems our grandson was having and them witnessing / experiencing it, the psychiatrist would not rx anything until she got a report from his teacher. GRRRRR! I'm guessing it's part of the protocol these days????

    So don't feel so disheartened that your pediatrician dr. didn't act on your concerns. Get all your ammo lined up and lay it on them!
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    First of all, trust your instincts. They are there for a reason. YOur instincts seem to be telling you very strongly that something is wrong with your child. Believe them, NOT the doctor who spends 5-10 mins every month or three.

    Second, FIRE this doctor. If he won't do even the referrals he says he will do,then he sure isn't worth the payment. It would be worth the extra time and gas $$ to drive her to a pediatrician or family doctor in a nearby town. He seems to think HIS opinion is the only one that matters, when HE is NOT the expert in behaviors OR in YOUR BABY.

    I think both you AND the teacher should keep daily behavior journals. Even one that goes back and forth.

    I also think you need to get "on the list" at children's Mercy, and call weekly about cancellations. It takes quite a while on the waiting lists, and you don't want to put off getting on that list any longer.

    The FAQ section of this forum has a thread about a Parent Report. I think it would be an EXCELLENT idea to start one. It is a report that you write about your child, then you can take it to the various docs, the school, etc and have all theinfo at your hand. I found it invaluable, as have many others.

    Here is a (((hug))) to help you through all this. I am sorry the day was so rough.