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Went Too Far... Here we go AGAIN!
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<blockquote data-quote="so ready to live" data-source="post: 694067" data-attributes="member: 20054"><p>Dear Skool...so sorry...what a terrible way to wake up. Their drama never ends, does it? Maybe, if he's close and helpful your brother could come. I find that a second person to stand by you decreases the likelihood of a blowup. Does he live close enough to be "on-call"? I have spoken with son through window at times until his older brother could come to be with me. Phone in pocket, 911 on speed-dial, asking him right after "what are you doing here" "do I have to call police"? He got that I was not letting him in the house.</p><p>The stress on a marriage is huge and understandable. So wrong that she puts you through this. Your life matters too. It's unfortunate but common that you and hubby are on a different page regarding how to deal with her and yet you both want the same thing---peace. Don't be too hard on yourselves, no one is making sense under this kind of stress.</p><p> Could this new emergency just be between daughter and her ex? Maybe the lady (at 5am) doesn't even know the son said your daughter had to leave? You may<em> not want</em> her over there but it's world's better than on your doorstep. Totally her choice. From the outside, that lady looks to me to not be the worst option at all. </p><p>My son has called/shown up here many times (including last night) needing to get out of town after fight with long-term, on again off again girlfriend. Always the same, "she's calling cops, I broke a window, TV, my hand, doorjamb, (fill in the blank)....she took my money, she's on something (he leaves out "I'm on something also") " What a way to live. Your comment, "but it's still affecting my life" is the crux of it all. Me too. I get upset by sad things on TV, so bring it to my doorstep, have it be a person I love so much, it's unbearable. But, it has to be bearable because we are NOT them. They are adults. They must fix it. You and I have now tried everything to no avail. Save yourselves, your marriage. It's all you can really do. My heart hurts for you today. let us know you're alright. Prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="so ready to live, post: 694067, member: 20054"] Dear Skool...so sorry...what a terrible way to wake up. Their drama never ends, does it? Maybe, if he's close and helpful your brother could come. I find that a second person to stand by you decreases the likelihood of a blowup. Does he live close enough to be "on-call"? I have spoken with son through window at times until his older brother could come to be with me. Phone in pocket, 911 on speed-dial, asking him right after "what are you doing here" "do I have to call police"? He got that I was not letting him in the house. The stress on a marriage is huge and understandable. So wrong that she puts you through this. Your life matters too. It's unfortunate but common that you and hubby are on a different page regarding how to deal with her and yet you both want the same thing---peace. Don't be too hard on yourselves, no one is making sense under this kind of stress. Could this new emergency just be between daughter and her ex? Maybe the lady (at 5am) doesn't even know the son said your daughter had to leave? You may[I] not want[/I] her over there but it's world's better than on your doorstep. Totally her choice. From the outside, that lady looks to me to not be the worst option at all. My son has called/shown up here many times (including last night) needing to get out of town after fight with long-term, on again off again girlfriend. Always the same, "she's calling cops, I broke a window, TV, my hand, doorjamb, (fill in the blank)....she took my money, she's on something (he leaves out "I'm on something also") " What a way to live. Your comment, "but it's still affecting my life" is the crux of it all. Me too. I get upset by sad things on TV, so bring it to my doorstep, have it be a person I love so much, it's unbearable. But, it has to be bearable because we are NOT them. They are adults. They must fix it. You and I have now tried everything to no avail. Save yourselves, your marriage. It's all you can really do. My heart hurts for you today. let us know you're alright. Prayers. [/QUOTE]
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