This has nothing really to do with difficult child or easy child - but basically just being a parent of adult children who live at home. Okay, maybe a little bit about difficult child or easy child and their abuse of our nice temperament! Yeah right! My girls are going to LI to see their dad for two days (a belated Christmas) and while they are gone, I am creating a spreadsheet - I am almost done actually - which will detail our monthly expenses. For the house, food, utility bills, college loans, personal credit cards, fuel, insurances, car payments, etc. It will be a very comprehensive list. The reason? Well, for starters I am already tired of easy child saying stuff about finding her own place - if she really wants one that badly, by all means, GO! I told her that too. However, I think she needs to know that paying me a measly $140 a month is not going to be a deal she can find anywhere else. Not only does that include utilities and most food, but it also includes live-in daycare for her little puppy. The issue with her immediately is not even any of that. It's her car insurance. My H has paid for her car insurance while she was in college - fine. Now that she's out and working full time and making decent money, I think she should pay it herself. H argued with me over this since September...until his business slowed way down. Now he wants ME to tell her. So instead, I called a family meeting. HE and I can tell her together. I am tired of always having to be the one who delivers the bad news. We even changed her policy to a different company saving over $600 for a 6-month period! Anyway, her payment is only $128/month. I think she can swing it. And then there is difficult child and her situation. I hadn't posted about it earlier because quite frankly, I am numb to it - dangerously so I think; it's as if I don't even care anymore. difficult child lost her job...she claimed they fired her for going to the bathroom one too many times, but later it came out that she "kinda sorta" quit and thet the manager agreed with her. Now I learned that she's failing her community college phlebotomy course. IF she passes the final next week, she can take the state PNA exam in May and do her internship as scheduled. But if she doesn't pass the final next week, she is basically back to square one. So, between failing school and quitting her job, I finally have H in my corner in regards to the freakin insurance. And I know it's only because his business is slow - otherwise he'd still be willing to cover the cost of her insurance. Now he is at least as annoyed as I am and ready to cut her off completely. When does this take effect? Their insurance is paid up until February 3rd. Okay, back to the reasons behind sharing our financial situation with them. I've been studying my siblings families. I have a brother who has always shared his and his wife's financial situation with his 4 kids and they have all always worked, paid most of their own way and had to compromise on their higher education (community college v state or private). They know how much their parents make and how much it costs to run the house. I grew up with that sort of, but it was horrible because my mother would just rant and yell and scream and fight with my dad and I always swore I wouldn't do that with my kids. Anyway, then there is my sister who has always given her kids everything and anything, paid cash for all three of their educations, bought them cars, paid their insurance, ect. Their son, now 26 FINALLY just got his own car ins. Those kids have no concept of the value of the dollar. So, I fall somewhere in the middle. I've shared some information but I didn't want my kids thinking we were going to the poor house (when some times I wasn't so sure myself) or, the opposite, that we were loaded. I thought I struck a pretty good balance for the most part. But now I find that with the economy the way it is, and the rising costs to run a household, it's time the kids realized just how much juggling goes on during times like these. Thankfully, we are not in a terrible spot, but we have to be very careful and I just want them to appreciate that and fall in line. easy child is going to Spain at the end of this month and she's going on a ski trip in March. She buys herself clothes she doesn't need, clothing for her puppy, eats lunch and many dinners out on the go with her boyfriend, etc. She's a spendthrift and when she wants something, it has to be right now. Admittedly, I have a hard time saying no to her (and even difficult child at times), so I don't nag about what she does with her money - not my place really. But it really bites me that she complains about having to kick in $125 towards her insurance as if she's broke but yet she still has money to burn at Chilis?? Ah, no. I don't begrudge her the trips, in fact, I'm glad she's going and doing stuff. But she also recently stated that she wanted to go back to school for her bachelors locally, which will mean that our finances will be under scrutiny again and we have to do the stupid FAFSA again, etc. Ugh. I said, "Well, if you're going back to school, you'd better make sure that you save your money to cover your expenses since you will be working less hours. We are not in a position to pick those up for you" and she rolled her eyes. So it's time for a family meeting and everyone will have to understand that it's time to buckle down and spend less, save more, and make do. And I haven't even tapped into the whole chores thing! Wish me luck!!