We're taking difficult child to psychiatric hospital

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Aug 28, 2008.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    We had a horrible a.m, (I started another thread this a.m.) and easy child made her own appointment with-the child psychiatric and he called me while she was there and put me on speaker phone. She said she does not feel safe, and more than that, she worries the she is the peacemaker (true! at least for the moment) and worries about what we will do when she is away at school next yr.

    The child psychiatric said admittance to a psychiatric hospital would be the way to go at this point. I asked if we should wait until difficult child escalates again and then have the police take him, and he said first off, they won't transport him, and 2nd, he'd freak. This is calmer. Better to do it on a long weekend when there's an open bed. A certain amt of expediency and pragmantism here!

    easy child told the dr some things we had forgotten to tell him or that had fallen through the cracks--difficult child urinating on the floor and in the wastebasket, and urinating in empty hairspray bottles, which difficult child said was because he was sent to his rm and not allowed to go to the bathroom. Ea thing he does has some sort of explanation, logical or not, but when you string it all together, it spells something. Not sure what the "something" is but it is a pattern of oddness. Not to mention the rages.
    So that factored into the dr's opinion too.

    The dr said to expect a "broken system" and a lot of frustration. I kind of chuckled at that because I know how much you all have been through. I plan to assert myself in regard to getting copies of paperwork and asking for specific tests.

    He said they may even send us home with-o admitting him, despite the fact he called ahead and they have open beds, so to expect anything. He also said to expect a lot of psychiatric terms to be thrown at me, like ODD, Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), Asperberger's, biplar, schizophrenia, etc.
    Uh, ya think? Again, I thank you all because I know about these from your notes and feel a bit like I've been there done that. For that reason, I think I will handle it better than husband, who, well, is good at working a lot. :)

    I called the new psychiatrist and asked if he had privileges at this hospital. He said not admitting priv, but visiting priv for established pts. I said, "Well, I guess we're doing this backward." And told him we'd chat in a few days. I'm curious to see if the hospital will do some of the same tests he was going to do.

    I did as much as I could do with-the hospital over the phone and asked if we could go in at 7 p.m. because of rush hr traffic and they said fine. They said they will do a quick intake assess and then the dr does rounds in the a.m. After that, a soc. wkr will set up a mtng with-the family.
    The good part is that the kids have no school Fri-Mon so difficult child will only miss one day of school.

    We are going to tell difficult child that he is going to see a special psychiatric dr, but the child psychiatric said not to tell him were were leaving him there until we actually get there, or he may not even get in the car. This is the really hard part.

    I know a lot of you have dealt with-this b4 and I never, ever dreamed I would be the one. I didn't know how to respond to your notes except to send hugs.

    I'll have a meltdown and a good cry for my "little boy" but it will have to wait until I walk through this. I have to be calm and strong for him.

    husband gets off work at 5:30, and I'm packing a suitcase for difficult child right now.
    This is really sad and scary but I hope we get some answers.

    This five days will be much, much longer than the 28 days he was away at camp!!!! :(
  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Oh Terry - I am so sorry. I hope this turns out to be a great thing though. More help for difficult child. Hugs to easy child - it is amazing how siblings take on roles they really do not need to - she is a special kid to be able to voice her concerns about the family and not just look forward to when she gets to be on her own.

    Stay strong - it is VERY VERY difficult but your strength will make it easier for difficult child - if he senses any doubt at all, he will jump on it and use it to get out of this.

    Hugs, hugs, hugs
  3. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I hope this helps him, good luck and be strong untill you leave him, then have a drink and breakdown.
  4. ML

    ML Guest

    If this gets him the right help, it could turn out to be the best thing possible. I can only imagine how hard this must be. I too feel that I can only offer hugs, not having had firsthand experience. But I'm paying close attention because for the grace of God, it could be any one of us.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you. I will look forward to some positive developments now (thinking positive).

    Hugs and Love,

  5. I understand how hard this is for you! Just know you are doing the right thing for difficult child (and everyone else). The first time I admitted difficult child inpatient, I did not tell him he was being put inpatient, just told him we were going to talk. I was also afraid he would not get into the car either. He was really upset, but in the end he stopped crying.

    (by the way - difficult child was one to urinate in bottles too when he escalated before going inpatient.)

    Hugs to you.

  6. luvmyottb

    luvmyottb Guest

    Sending hugs to you, I don't know what it feel like to admit your child, but I can imagine it is a wretched emotion. Your easy child is a wonderful for being so concerned about her parents. I hope difficult child gets the help he needs. Take time to recuperate over the weekend. Best to you and your family. Prayers for difficult child.
  7. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Terry, maybe this will finally get you a diagnosis you can work with!

    Good luck!

  8. OpenWindow

    OpenWindow Active Member


    I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I haven't been there done that yet, but it is in the realm of possibilities. Stay strong and hopefully this will bring him the help he needs, and bring you some time to breathe a little and recuperate.

  9. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    I'm so sorry. I just wanted to chime in and send support and {{{BIG HUGS}}}. Hang in there.:)
  10. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Hugs, it's a really hard thing to do but I can say that it was the beginning of more comprehensive help.
    He may not be as upset as you expect. It's a safe place with a lot of attention.
  11. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    praying for you, wish I could hold your hand as I've been there twice, so far, we may be headed there again if things do not improve, difficult child II has been way off the wall today.

    Just remember if it doesn't feel or sound right, ? them, take notes, there are no stupid questions, and know we're all here for you.

    i a n a v
  12. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I know it's hard but you are so doing the right thing. Hopefully your difficult child will be like mine and actually like the environment. There is always so much structure and so much attention that he did well in the environment.

    I will be keeping you and difficult child in my prayers, I sometimes think that it is harder on us than them. Be sure while he is there that you find some time to take care of you. Gentle hugs.
  13. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    {{{Hugs}}} I'm sorry it's come to this but I'm hopeful it will turn out to be positive and helpful. Update when you can.
  14. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    I am very sorry. You know I am thinking about you and praying hard.
  15. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

    Sending hugs--I'm sorry things have been so crazy busy in your household. Hopefully they can help stablize him while in the hosptial....
  16. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Lost of hugs and prayers. We'll all be with you.
  17. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you all.
    It's one of the hardest things we've ever done. He's so sweet and vulnerable and didn't put up a fuss, ge was still wiped out from last night and this am,and fell asleep in the car on the way down IIt's an hr drive.)
    When we finally got to his room we stood and hugged him and he started to cry. I could feel his rib cage expand and then felt the tears on m y bare arm. I wasn't to stand there all night and hold him but knew I couldn't, so I handed him of to husband, with-o losing any body contact, sort of a group hug.
    I hope they give him the pillow from home that I packed. And I sent books to read.
    Tomorrow is going to be the hardest. It will really sink in.
    We can visit Sat. between 6-7 p.m. only. IT's an hr drive one way soi itcan get exhausting.
    Sorry aobu the typos.I"m exhasted. I'll write more in the am
    Thank you for being there.
  18. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry, Terry. I hope that it will help.
  19. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    :praying: Sending all of you many prayers for peace and healing.
  20. Terry,

    I am so sorry that you had to take difficult child to the hospital, but I know that you all have been struggling in the past weeks.

    I will keep you all in my prayers.