What a day!

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Nancy, May 23, 2012.

  1. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It started out lovely, I met dashcat for lunch and we had a lovely time. It's so nice to be with someone who really understands the world of difficult child's. I wish we could have sat there all day talking. But when I got in my car to leave I saw I had two missed calls from difficult child. I called husband to ask if he knew what was up and he said no, but we soon found out.

    difficult child needed black shoes for her new job starting at 6am tomorrow. Also her landlord can to see her today and told her he needed her full rent by Friday. She was hysterical and we hung up on each other many times and I ignored so many calls I couldnt count. She did the same thing to husband. She sobbed, she begged, she swore, she called over and over. husband and I talked and admitted we didn't want her to lose this job before she started so I agreed to meet her and buy her shoes. She was an hour late for her other job but called and they said it was ok. So she works til 10 tonight and then at 6 am at the new job tomorrow.

    We are still up in the air about what to do about her rent. She has her follow up dr appointment Friday with the gynecologist and that she called for the test results and she has chlamydia. I don't know what that means for her IUD but we can't let her go unprotected so I am going to the appointment with her to discuss with the dr.

    If you are reading this dash, I was in such a good mood after lunch and not more than ten minutes later that all fell apart.

    Last edited: May 23, 2012
  2. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    OMG, Nancy, I wish we were still sitting there and contemplating dinner by now! What in the world is that girl thinking? (I know, I know...she's thinking with a difficult child brain.). It's going to be very interesting to see how she does working at 6:00 a.m. after working until 10:00 at night...

    Never a dull moment for us Warrior Moms...

  3. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    How wonderful that you and dash got a chance to meet for lunch. It really is nice to talk to someone who totally gets the challenges we face...and what better person than a fellow Warrior Mom.

    Sorry to hear that difficult child called you with her urgent needs. I really dread those times...when they are so desperate for help and we are put on the spot with what to do next. How much should we help? How much is too much, etc.

    Your difficult child is darned lucky to have you and husband in her life. She has put you guys through so much over the years. Maybe a nice vacation for you and husband is in order this summer.

    Hoping your difficult child will start making the right decisions for her life again. I wish we could make them/do for them...but we can't it's got to come from within our difficult child's to "do the next right thing".

  4. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Gosh, Nancy, you have had quite a day. A working difficult child is always a good thing and I certainly can understand that you don't want her to lose the new job. I would definitely have bought the shoes. I don't know what to say about the rent. I would probably pay it for her but I am not exactly a good example of detachment considering that my difficult child is back under my roof.

    Of course, if she is still drinking and drugging how long can she possibly keep any job?

    What have you and your husband decided to do?

  5. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Kathy we are still pondering that question.

  6. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Well you had a good experience today and a same ol same ol one. I see the glass half full. It's so nice that you had a break from the difficult child drama with an understanding friend. I know how that feels as our dear Suz met me for dinner a couple years ago. Such a nice experience. -RM
  7. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Oh Nancy... I am glad you and Dash got to have lunch. Vligirl and I have become real life friends and it is so nice to get together in person with someone who gets it... I wish we all lived closer and could just get together!!!

    I understand the debate about the rent and what to do. These are my thoughts... much easier to be clear for someone else than yourself sometimes.

    But if you go on the principal of helping them do the right things.... I think I would buy the shoes to help with the new job (that is a positive step even if it does not last) and I would help her with the birth control (the sex is not a good decision on her part, but avoiding bringing a child into the world is). I would not help with the rent even though you might really want to. You knew this day was coming and this is the direct result of her irresponsible behavior and drug use and so I do think paying the rent is out and out enabling her. And there is no judgementn from me if you do decide to do it, as I get how hard it is to step back and let your child really suffer. Absolutely the hardest thing I have ever done is let my kid be homeless.....and we all get to the point of being willing to do that in our own way.