What a week

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by crazymama30, Oct 9, 2011.

  1. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    this week has been a roller coaster. 2 weeks ago difficult child got suspended, earlier last week he got into another verbal altercation at school again but was not suspended. He was blowing up over everything and anything.......irritability through the roof.one morning when I was driving him to school after he had a pretty tough time (of course his sister and I took the brunt of it) he asked if I could give him more pills so he would be nicer. I asked him if he wanted me to call psychiatrist and ask her and he said yes. That has been the first time he has ever verbalized that he knows that the medications help him! I called psychiatrist and she upped his abilify (with the hope that eventually we can back off when life calms down).

    Saturday he was doing his chore of cleaning up the dogs poop. It was a mess as it had not been done in a while. He got frustrated when stuff got stuck in the grass. He would not work unless I was out there, so I sat out there playing on my phone and being encouraging. Kept calm and cool the while time. After much yelling, swearing, whining, complaining.and a few tears he finished. He calmed down, and I took him to spend his money. On the way home? He apologized and we were able to talk about how we could do things differently to avoid the nastiness! Also a first.

    He went out with his new mentor tonight and they hit it off. When he brought difficult child home difficult child took him into his room (i nearly had a heart attack as his room should be condemned) to show him his indoor garden and the grow light he got for it (and it is just vegetables). The mentor wanted to be paired up with an active middle school boy........he sure got what he wanted. Mentor is picking difficult child up from school on wednesday and they will go do stuff then.

    Now I just have to get a good skills builder with the wrap around people and get then on the same page as me and hopefully we can make more progress.
  2. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    That is great that he is realizing that the medications help. And the mentor went well! And he could talk about his behavior! Wow. Sorry he is irritable though.
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Rough as it was, he is making amazing progress. Being able to realize AND verbalize that the medications help is HUGE. So is wanting to work on ways to get stuff done with-o nastiness.

    A BIG part of what turned Wiz around was the he had to do hard physical labor when he got into trouble or got violent. My dad worked side by side with him to keep him working and it took several years. Wiz hated to do yard work and that was a lot of what they did and it really helped him learn to do something to calm down if he didn't want to do more of it.

    I hope the mentor works well and you get the wrap around help you need.
  4. keista

    keista New Member

    So glad he's noticing the difference that medications can make! He WANTS to be nicer. WooHoo! That means so much. Hope it all keeps moving for you in a positive direction!
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Broke my heart that he asked for medications to be "nice" I hate that when I hear that from mine...BUT on the other hand, he advocated for himself. You sound so amazing with him. Really huge pat on the back for both of you!
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    You told the psychiatrist that the request for medications adjust came from difficult child, right?
    psychiatrists LIKE to know that... its a good measuring stick (not foolproof as they get older, but...) that helps demonstrate the effectiveness of the medications.
  7. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Actually you caught me.....i did not. I have to take easy child to psychiatrist tomorrow and will give difficult child the credit then.
  8. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Its something our psychiatrist ALWAYS asks - strait to difficult child if he is there, or else to me... does difficult child notice any difference? does difficult child feel the benefits outweigh the side-effects? does difficult child want to change the dose, or does difficult child think we should be exploring other options... She will NOT make major adjustments without difficult child there. (I can go without difficult child, if its to discuss strategy or get referals)

    Now, she's done this for 3 years... so difficult child would have been close to 12 when we started this - not sure she'd be doing that with a 4 year old - but, it DOES help. Among other things, it takes away some of the powerlessness that difficult children often feel. Yes they need the help of medications, but its not pushed ON them, its evaluated WITH them. No different than... choosing which insulin delivery mechanism to use, for example (needles? or pump? pros and cons either way).

    The more difficult child can be involved in the process, and in learning to self-monitor and self-report, the higher the chances are of success - even if the medication stops working and a change is needed, difficult child now knows that "medications" can help, and if they don't... then speak up.

    This is SO positive.