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What a WEEKEND!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="ROE" data-source="post: 41820" data-attributes="member: 2276"><p>I agree with Timer Lady. difficult child's really grieve the loss of a parent no matter what the circumstances are.</p><p></p><p>In the early years of my divorce dex was horrid to me especially, and often difficult child. He would refuse to take him on weekends that he was supposed to have him whenever it suited him, often at the last minute. He shunned him completely for a period of four months (he got mad at him for defending me). This time period included difficult child's birthday and Christmas. difficult child loved his father unconditionally through out it all. He would've defended him to the hilt (he never had to defend him with me I did a pretty good job of not bad mouthing him to difficult child regardless of how I really felt).</p><p></p><p>In fact, and I will Never Ever Tell difficult child this, before the divorce was final, he spoke to a lawyer about giving up his parental rights. He told me that he could not handle him. I begged him not to do it. On the one hand it would have made my life easier in many respects, but I knew it would Crush difficult child and cause irreparable damage. None of this had anything to do with child support either because he does not provide any...another story. Dex had some of his own MI issues at the time</p><p></p><p>Undoubtedly, dex's antics caused some damage, kids don't forget that kind of pain even when they forgive it. Presently, dex and difficult child do have a good relationship.</p><p></p><p>I would not spend any time bad mouthing bio mom. If it came up, I would be more likely to say to difficult child that her mom has some problems, illness, whatever words suit you, she loves difficult child but she can't take care of her...something along those lines, and then reinterate that you will always be there and how important she is in your life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ROE, post: 41820, member: 2276"] I agree with Timer Lady. difficult child's really grieve the loss of a parent no matter what the circumstances are. In the early years of my divorce dex was horrid to me especially, and often difficult child. He would refuse to take him on weekends that he was supposed to have him whenever it suited him, often at the last minute. He shunned him completely for a period of four months (he got mad at him for defending me). This time period included difficult child's birthday and Christmas. difficult child loved his father unconditionally through out it all. He would've defended him to the hilt (he never had to defend him with me I did a pretty good job of not bad mouthing him to difficult child regardless of how I really felt). In fact, and I will Never Ever Tell difficult child this, before the divorce was final, he spoke to a lawyer about giving up his parental rights. He told me that he could not handle him. I begged him not to do it. On the one hand it would have made my life easier in many respects, but I knew it would Crush difficult child and cause irreparable damage. None of this had anything to do with child support either because he does not provide any...another story. Dex had some of his own MI issues at the time Undoubtedly, dex's antics caused some damage, kids don't forget that kind of pain even when they forgive it. Presently, dex and difficult child do have a good relationship. I would not spend any time bad mouthing bio mom. If it came up, I would be more likely to say to difficult child that her mom has some problems, illness, whatever words suit you, she loves difficult child but she can't take care of her...something along those lines, and then reinterate that you will always be there and how important she is in your life. [/QUOTE]
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