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What a wonderful Christmas!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 642742" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Cedar, my family was like that too. After I had 37 I got violently sick, was bleeding internally, and had to go to the ER right away. I was only 24 and still not used to the go-to person not being Mom, although she had never been there for me. I mean, on TV Mom is always there, right? I called her to ask her if she'd please watch my month old baby while I found out why I was bleeding and had a fever of 103?</p><p></p><p>Her response is etched in my memory. "No, I'm not going to start with the babysitting."</p><p></p><p>I don't remember if there was any more to the conversation.</p><p></p><p>My mother-in-law was called and rushed over and never forgot it. Ever.</p><p></p><p>My parents did pay for the wedding. It was $800. My mom was proud of how cheap she got it. She bragged about that to others in the family. The ways she did it was to have it on a Tuesday instead of a normal day. Only twelve people were allowed to attend and there was no entertainment. THere WAS dinner. It would be one thing if they were poor, but we weren't at all poor. After it was over, she threw that $800 in my face many times. "I gave you a NICE wedding and spent $800!"</p><p></p><p>I was only 20 when I got married or I would have married at the Justice of the Peace. But they wanted this particular rabbi to marry me and husband, although husband was not Jewish (I did defy them on this). My parents thought that having my husband married by a Rabbi would somehow make us raise our children Jewish. So I went along with the wedding to please them, not because of what religion we were raising our not-yet-here children. I was still under my parent's thumb and this is what they wanted and I was desperate to get my mother to love me still. I'm sure that the really mini-wedding was spoken a lot about as well. I remember a few cousins were invited that I didn't even know and that I had no say so in who came.</p><p></p><p>Of course, onward, Mom never even acknowledged my children's birthdays and mother-in-law, who was an angel, never said a word to me (except about how she couldn't understand why Mom wouldn't come when I was so sick). But she knew something was different.</p><p></p><p>To add to the embarassment, she had another son who was also married and my sister-in-law had an awesome family, tons of fun, inclusive of all, just great. I was very shy and used to sit in a corner looking at this huge, normal family interacting in positive ways and having fun with each other, even while I was so socially inept that I took frequent bathroom breaks with a book in my hands. I would wish her family was my family.</p><p></p><p>When you are very young and married with little babies, things like that matter to most of us. I was not ready to handle it then. I would end up in tears, ashamed and humiliated by the way my family treated everyone, including me, my husband, and my children.</p><p></p><p>When I think about those days it almost seems like they happened to somebody else.</p><p></p><p>I AM SO GRATEFUL THAT THE PAST IS THE PAST AND THAT TODAY IS OUR NEW REALLITY!!!</p><p>HAVE WONDERFUL HOLIDAYS!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 642742, member: 1550"] Cedar, my family was like that too. After I had 37 I got violently sick, was bleeding internally, and had to go to the ER right away. I was only 24 and still not used to the go-to person not being Mom, although she had never been there for me. I mean, on TV Mom is always there, right? I called her to ask her if she'd please watch my month old baby while I found out why I was bleeding and had a fever of 103? Her response is etched in my memory. "No, I'm not going to start with the babysitting." I don't remember if there was any more to the conversation. My mother-in-law was called and rushed over and never forgot it. Ever. My parents did pay for the wedding. It was $800. My mom was proud of how cheap she got it. She bragged about that to others in the family. The ways she did it was to have it on a Tuesday instead of a normal day. Only twelve people were allowed to attend and there was no entertainment. THere WAS dinner. It would be one thing if they were poor, but we weren't at all poor. After it was over, she threw that $800 in my face many times. "I gave you a NICE wedding and spent $800!" I was only 20 when I got married or I would have married at the Justice of the Peace. But they wanted this particular rabbi to marry me and husband, although husband was not Jewish (I did defy them on this). My parents thought that having my husband married by a Rabbi would somehow make us raise our children Jewish. So I went along with the wedding to please them, not because of what religion we were raising our not-yet-here children. I was still under my parent's thumb and this is what they wanted and I was desperate to get my mother to love me still. I'm sure that the really mini-wedding was spoken a lot about as well. I remember a few cousins were invited that I didn't even know and that I had no say so in who came. Of course, onward, Mom never even acknowledged my children's birthdays and mother-in-law, who was an angel, never said a word to me (except about how she couldn't understand why Mom wouldn't come when I was so sick). But she knew something was different. To add to the embarassment, she had another son who was also married and my sister-in-law had an awesome family, tons of fun, inclusive of all, just great. I was very shy and used to sit in a corner looking at this huge, normal family interacting in positive ways and having fun with each other, even while I was so socially inept that I took frequent bathroom breaks with a book in my hands. I would wish her family was my family. When you are very young and married with little babies, things like that matter to most of us. I was not ready to handle it then. I would end up in tears, ashamed and humiliated by the way my family treated everyone, including me, my husband, and my children. When I think about those days it almost seems like they happened to somebody else. I AM SO GRATEFUL THAT THE PAST IS THE PAST AND THAT TODAY IS OUR NEW REALLITY!!! HAVE WONDERFUL HOLIDAYS! [/QUOTE]
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