What Adult Priveleges are Left?

[susiestar]

The thread about the girl in the pageant made me think about this again. It is NOT meant to cast criticism or blame at anyone, just something that, at least to me, is thought provoking.

What privileges are left that are just for adults?

When I was little we did not get to drink soda. On either Sat or Sun we could watch an old movie on tv with my dad and have popcorn and half a bottle of coke - we got 8 oz. It was the ONLY time unless we were out and it was a very special occasion. Sodas were for adults.

Many movies were for adults. My mom would watch a movie and if it wasn't too adult would let us see it, maybe. My father believed in the rating system - they said adults then we didn't see it unless mom over-rode him - and that was very very rare. My father was NOT happy when pg-13 came out. He told me I could not go see them, but I had JUST turned 13 (he regularly thought I was 2 yrs younger than I was, until I was driving, lol!) and informed him of that. I actually had to make him go find my birth certificate and do the math before he let me got to a pg13 movie.

There were a LOT of things that we were not allowed to do when I was a kid. I look at kids now and don't see much of anything that they have to wait for. Soda is part of daily life for most of them, so are energy drinks. clothing? well many preteens dress more provocatively than I ever have and it is seen as normal.

When I was a kid there was no lingerie for kids. Now we have stores devoted to it (limited had one in a mall here - claimed it was sleepwear but no way sheer training bras are sleepwear, Know what I mean??), actual chains of them.

Staying up late? We had bedtimes. Many of my kids' friends do not, and have not since elem school. Mine do because they jsut don't cope with-o them, esp thank you.

Kids today have far fewer chores than we did, and far more money and freedom. We got allowance, but not if our chores were not done. Most of the parents of my kids' friends think that kids have too much on their shoulders with having to get good grades (even though some think c's are good grades for kids perfectly able to get A's - I spent enough time in the classroom working 1:1 to be pretty sure of that in most of the cases) so they shouldn't have to do chores. Or the kids don't do the chores "right" so the parents stop making them do them at all.

Many of these kids are involved in very expensive activities. By 5th or 6th grade if you want to play most sports you are on a travelling team and drive up to 2 hrs each way for a game. NOT on a school bus, in your parent's car or iwth another family. Parents see this as another thing more important than having the kids do any chores. I have had these kids in my home and if it is the night that J has dish duty, then the friend is invited to help - and I actually had to teach some of these kids (friends of whicher kid, J was an example) how to wash a dish, load the washer and start it, even use the vacuum. Lots of them think it is cool to do that stuff here, mostly because it is a total novelty to them. As a kid if I wanted an activity I generally had to pay at least a part of it. Went with-o allowance for a year to have riding lessons every other week.

I get not making difficult children do some things, even chores. there are other, more important battles to fight and truly it isn't that important with that set of circumstances. But easy child's? Every kid I knew had chores when I was a kid. No exceptions. Now they mostly don't seem to have chores. J has TWO friends with chores from a group of 8-10 girls who have been friends since grade 1. One girl, E, lives out on a farm and her folks have several businesses besides the farm and they all have to do chores. The other has a mom in similar/worse physical shape than I am in and a little sister who is easy child/difficult child/stemwinder and J's friend, S, does a lot to help her mom and raise her sister - Dad works a ton of overtime that is mandatory and also does a lot, but S still has to do a lot. The other girls? Think they are worked like slaves if they have to clean their rooms. I am NOT getting this from the girls, it is from their MOMS.

I can remember as a kid that I could not wait to be an adult because then I could do a, b, c and twenty other things. Now? Why should a kid grow up and act like an adult? There are no incentives left to be rewards for doing the hard work that is part of life. Kids get all the privileges, none of the responsibilities and then have no idea how to behave as an adult. Why should they work or be responsible or follow basic safety rules and the laws in our country? They never did before and it was never a problem that they really had to handle. So why would a birthday make a change in that in their mind?

I KNOW that most of us here are NOT raising kids like that. Our kids generally have chores, and even the easy child's learn "do to get" and logical/natural consequences. But that sure is not the norm in many homes, at least not here. I have actually been accused of child abuse for not letting Wiz watch certain things on tv at certain ages! In fact, Wiz was about a year old when a parent asked me how I could be so "mean" as to drink a coke in front of him and "only" give him water, juice or formula. For close to twenty years I have been told I am mean and unfair for eating/drinking certain foods in front of the kids and not letting them have any or have as much as they want. I understand that line of thinking about as much as I understand why people enjoy golf. I know people do enjoy golf, and I am happy for them, but it is as foreign to me as the idea that it is unfair to have a cola unless you let your kid have one, even if that kid is still drinking from a bottle and barely eating solid foods.

Am I crazy? Is this something that you see in your area? Are there any privileges left for kids to enjoy when they are adults, and left to be incentives to actually become adults? because if they have all this stuff, why should they become adults? Heck, can I go back to being a kid in one of those families?

 

[MuM_of_OCD_kiddo]

I can remember as a kid that I could not wait to be an adult because then I could do a, b, c and twenty other things. Now? Why should a kid grow up and act like an adult? There are no incentives left to be rewards for doing the hard work that is part of life. Kids get all the privileges, none of the responsibilities and then have no idea how to behave as an adult. Why should they work or be responsible or follow basic safety rules and the laws in our country? They never did before and it was never a problem that they really had to handle. So why would a birthday make a change in that in their mind?

I think you definitely have a point there. Just think about where we were at the ages of some of our kids - we had our own place [or roommated successfully], made and paid our own bills, worked a decent well maintaining job or on establishing careers. Going away for a weekend was a treat; visiting with friends or family was something you enjoyed [mostly, LOL]; vacation something to look forward to all year long, and being glad about having a decent car and maintaining it. Some of us were married and had kids that we took care off, many had kids and worked. Thinking back - the world was that big shiny bubble just waiting to be explored.

Nowadays it seems they are just bored and blase` about everything. And many are still looking at us parents for support and as a giver of things [money, gifts, cars, furniture, clothing, free baby sitting or a place to live, etc]. For fairness reasons - it seemed to be so much easier to make ends meet when I was in my 20ies - I worked considerably less hours than I do today, and made more money [relatively anyways - there was much more left at the end of the month after expenses were met - and that was doing nothing exciting or having a high end income].

 

[AnnieO]

I have to agree with you, Susie.

I was allowed to have pop... But only when Mom & Dad said it was OK. Not nearly as often as I would have liked! When I hit middle school, we were allowed to use the vending machines, which dispensed a cup, ice and pop (no lid or straw) - 8 oz for $0.50... I used my lunch money on that quite a bit, because I did not get it at home!

Movies? Kid movies only, till I was around 13. I do remember seeing "The Thorn Birds" miniseries at age 11 - Mom allowed it, but there are pieces missing from my memory - because she sent me out of the room. Same with "North and South". At age 14, my friend and I went to see "The Color of Money" but due to the rating they would not allow us to buy tickets... The ticket seller called my Mom at work!!!

Underwear... Cotton. Still prefer them. I did have Underoos... And later cutesy flowers. I don't think I got "sexy" undies till I bought my own at age 17. I despised my training bras... They were uncomfortable, for one, and ugly, for two. No underwire or padding for me.

I had a pastel-rainbow swim suit I got at age 14 that was :gasp: high cut on the hips and low cut in the front. Showed no cleavage, though. Not that I had any! It made Dad nervous, but Mom OK'd it and it was so pretty... My basic suit now is cut higher and lower, and still shows nothing.

I did wear short-shorts in the 70s as a kid... But... Even they were longer than what I see elsewhere.

I had to wait till age 16 to get my temps. Now, it's 15 1/2. I was close to 17 when I got my actual license.

I lived at home till I was 21. I was in school and working, so my parents did not charge me rent - but - I had to adhere to their rules, and make good grades. I did so-so on that, but I did TRY.

I wanted to be old enough to do things my way, but... I didn't push moving out all that hard...

Speaking of things that p me off, Victoria's Secret PINK. Nuff said.

 

[Hound dog]

It's not just you Susie, I've seen this for many years, clear back when my own kids were small.

I gave my kids a bedtime because as a child I never had one and I remember too well all the times I fell asleep at my desk because my Mom drug me somewhere late in the evening. (we got up at 4:30 am regardless of when we went to bed) And quite frankly I believe all parents need downtime to relax before going to bed.

My kids had to earn privileges. When they were little they weren't allowed to touch the tv or even it's remote, or radio, phone and the like. They couldn't even just go get themselves something to eat or drink, they had to ask first. The answer was usually yes unless a meal was coming up, but heaven help them if they didn't ask. The girls weren't allowed barbies until they were 7-8 yrs old. Most of their friends were getting them at age 2. Back then boomboxes were the rage. My kids never saw one until they were 16, their friends were breaking them at about age 6-8. As teens they were strongly encouraged to go out and work, as except for very basic things I stopped buying their clothes ect. They all had chores. Not doing them right just meant you did it over and over until you did do it right. Chores were chosen on what best suited the child. Sports were a luxury and they each got one parent funded year. After that it was up to them to finance and transportation. My kids didn't even watch prime time tv until they were teens.

When the kids would complain about something they weren't allowed to have until a certain age, I'd say well if I gave it to you now what would you have to look forward to when you're older?

Although with that older part came new responsibility too. By the time they were 17-18 they were pretty much taking care of their own business with mom just supervising. Travis was a little later, but even he wasn't too far behind his sisters.

I understand the desire to give your kids what you never had, but one has to be careful. I taught my kids all the years that they were growing up that the day they left our house they wouldn't be living at the same level anymore. I taught them to expect the lean and sometimes hard first years out on their own. So many kids today don't think their ready to leave home because they can't furnish a place with all the nice things their parents have, when they don't realize it took their parents a lifetime to acquire those nice things.

 

[hearts and roses]

Reading through Susies post made me realize that I did have some adult privileges at a younger than most age, like pierced ears ar 12 (my mom gave in I begged her, was supposed to wait until 13). Pierced ears were okay at our house at 12 as well. Pierce anything else had to wait until 15 and facial piercings never under my roof. I didn't want to see my daughters' beautiful faces marred by eyebrow and lip piercings, ew. Body piercings? Well, difficult child did her nipples at 17/18 and I didn't know about it til after and as long as I didn't have to see them, well, her business. Stupid in my opinion, but her business.

I wore my first bikini at 11, just as my body was beginning to bud and I recall my father questioning my mom over it, she defended her permission, stating I was still a girl (erm, um, no). My mom had a [bad] habit of keeping the focus of outer beauty on her daughters and I've said it before, there was definitely an underlying sexualization going on in my house growing up, by my mom, which was ironic because she herself was sexually abused growing up so you'd think she'd be the opposite.

Clothing? Nope, we had conservative clothing that was a combo of store bought and homemade-my mom made a good portion of our clothes up until jeans became the thing. I do recall not being allowed to wear pants in elementary school until all the women teachers (and a few brave men) protested the women teachers rights to wear slacks, lol. Then all females were allowed-that was strange.

I wasn't prudish with the girls as they developed but there were a few times when discussions had to be had about belly baring shirts and short short skirts. easy child was always prudish on her own, difficult child gave me some grief but not so bad as she usually covered up with some giant ugly sweatshirt. lol.

We didn't receive allowances growing up. There were five of us spread out over 17 years and my parents made ends meet but rarely had extra. We were expected to "pull our weight" -that was our contribution to the household. So we did all sorts of yard work, painting, housework, etc. There isn't I chore I didn't learn or figure out about as a kid. And my kids had chores from the time they could walk, seriously. Dusting, helping to feed the fish, sweeping, emptying garbages, etc. Why not? It wasn't hard labor and I always just explained to them that we ALL work together to help each other and keep the house nice. Never needed further explaining, it was always a part of their lives. Even difficult child did chores, she wasn't difficult about it till later on, but even then she did them to earn privileges.

When I was a kid, we did go see movies, at the drive in, A LOT. My mom loved movies, so I saw all sorts of movies. I even saw Woodstock as a kid of only 10 I think and I think my mom was relying on me falling asleep in the back seat before the racier parts. Well, there was a lot of nudity. I saw MANY movies rated all the way up to R with my mom. My dad couldn't sit in theaters or in the car for long, so she'd drag me with her. Once in a great while she would simply say, "close your eyes for a moment" and that was it. Otherwise she explained nudity as natural and only being skin in different shapes and sizes, that the human body was created by God and is a work of art. Hahahahaha. That cracks me up now. I didn't allow my kids to see many movies and none R rated until over 18 and even then I would try to dissuade them!!

Anyway, no sodas except at the movies or McDonalds, which we went to twice a year. I still don't care for soda. My brother would bring it home once in a while and we'd all get so excited!!

Oh and bedtimes! I never really had a specific bedtime growing up and if I did, I recall creeping into the hallway just far enough to listen to the tv without my parents seeing me, but they must have had xray vision because many times they would call out, "Hello Peanut, go back to bed now" and that was my cue. Summertime, we'd stay up all night and camp out back. School year, usually by 9PM. My girls had betimes always. Up until 4th grade it was 7:30-ish. Then 8:30-ish. In HS I aimed for 10, was lucky if I got their lights out by 11.

For family vacations, we went camping for a week in the woods, in a tent, as late as October when we'd wake with frost on our noses! And my Mom would take us on a long hike every day to wear us out. Or swimming in the lake/pond.

I think the problems we are seeing with irresponsibility among our young adults can be traced back to not enough parenting, too much too soon, no responsibility, and lack of self esteem. Many of our kids were rewarded for doing nothing special, think soccer...every kid gets a trophy. Why? If yours wasn't the winning team why do you all get trophies? If a kids paper has 21 misspelled words and zero punctuation, why did she get a C? She should've had the paper handed back to her to do over!

Our schools and parents didn't worry about infusing us with self esteem for two reasons: it wasn't on their radar and if it was, they knew we would develop good self esteem witH the satisfaction of hard work, persistence and the good feeling of a job well done.

Edited to add: While I agree that some kids receive adult privileges too soon, I also think the bigger part of the problem is that many children are not held responsible along the way. We have always told our girls that with freedom comes responsibilities. It's just a fact of life. If you want to have freedoms, you must work for them, which in turn holds them responsible. Now, I am not saying that my simply worded philosophy works with every kid every time because, clearly, it does not. I thought I was raising both my girls with the same values, etc., and I was for the most part. However, concessions were made in the case of difficult child and as a result, she is still learning at age 21 what easy child figured out at age 16.

 

[flutterby]

There is nothing inherently wrong in people choosing to allow their kids to have privileges they didn't have as children and that you don't agree with.

Our grandparents said the same thing about our parents, by the way.

 

[muttmeister]

I try not to be one of those old people who always are saying that the world is going to he!! in a handbasket but it is getting harder and harder. It was Plato or Aristotle who wrote a whole diatribe about how the younger generation was going to the dogs and the world would probably not survive another generation. I know that times change and it is not always for the worse but I think you're right about this one.

I get that parents don't always want to raise their kids the way they were raised. But threating children like mini adults is doing them no favors. We have preschool kids with smart mouths who expect to be treated like teenagers. We have elementary school kids wearing sexy clothes and bringing cell phones to school and being mad that they can't use them in class. We have middle school kids drinking and doing drugs and having sex at earlier and earlier ages. We have high school kids who think they should run the school and that they know more than the adults. We have college students who have never had to work at anything and are mad if they aren't given A's for minimal effort. We have young adults who have never learned that privileges have to be worked for and that many things have to be earned; they expect to be handed things on a silver platter.

I do know that not ALL kid or ALL parents fall in that catgory but I think our society as a whole is traveling in that direction. Not only does giving children adult privileges make adulthood somehow less; it also makes childhood something less. While they are wearing their sexy clothes and texting on their cell phones and running their parents' lives, they are missing out on a lot of the joys of childhood. We are cheating them out of a lot of the joys and lessons that children should learn by making them into little mini adults.

I think a lot of it comes from the media and from companies trying to sell their products to younger and younger consumers. Don't know the solution but I sure see the problem.

 

[Fran]

Susie, I guess I'm not as aware of what other kids are doing. If we each work on our own kids then the world will manage just fine. in my humble opinion.
I am of the generation of hot pants, go go boots, revolution, bra less, men in long hair etc, etc. We managed to be moral, upstanding, hard working young adults and eventually parents. Some of it is exploration that is necessary to find who we are without being "told" who we are. Human nature seems to want to find the boundaries and is important for intellectual curiosity.
The marketing to kids is something else and I don't care for it at all. In the end we are the parents and have to put the responsibility for what our kids are exposed to on our own shoulders in the years before puberty.
It's the job of the older generation to complain about the younger generation. Guess we are just following along what other older generations did.

 

[Mattsmom277]

I think like generations before ours, we're seeing things we don't like and wouldn't want for our own kids and naturally it irks us as parents. Especially if our children start wanting some of the things or permissions that we don't want or approve of.

I think it all comes down to us as parents and how we approach it with our kids.

With easy child, I've learned that there are some things that I think she can live without and should earn instead of just get, yet other kids have it or have ability to do things, and socially I want easy child to "fit" to some degree. So I weight the pros and cons of things that my first reaction to is "no way", and decide case by case. For our family, the key to it is "balance".

I'm very strict about bedtime on school nights, and both kids were raised that way. I too believe adults need down time after the kids go to bed and I don't like seeing kids burning out with lack of sleep when they need energy and their wits about them to learn the next day. Bed time for school isn't negotiable. I have recently widened the scope during summer holidays or march break etc and allowed a much later bedtime, especially if easy child is having a rare sleep over and has a friend here. It's meant to be special and because she's so strictly monitored in her bed times, it is a real treat for her that gets her excited when she gets to stay up later.

One of my nieces is just shy of a year older than easy child. (easy child is now 12) Niece wears clothing I would expect in nightclubs. She is fully developed yet also extremely overweight (not chubby but obese). The clothes are not appropriate in my opinion anyhow, but it is made more appalling (for me) by the fact that she is overweight and the clothes are intentionally teensy tiny. She began wearing full face makeup at about age 10-11 and had her belly button pierced as a passing school gift after grade six! Most of her clothing is purchased to ensure her piercing shows. It is actually embarassing for me to see her this way and it horrifys my S/O who feels people must wonder why he'd be okay walking around with a young young girl like her, dressed as sexually as she is, loaded up with makeup, all her "goods" put on display etc. Matt got to a point he wouldn't walk around with her in public. Is it judgemental of us? Absolutely. Does it change how I feel about what is acceptable and what isn't? Not a bit. I do keep my opinion to myself and don't let on to niece or her mother how I feel, but inside I cringe. easy child has often used her cousin in conversation about why she finds it awkward to be changing from her tom boy thing into more girly things. She doesn't know often if being more girly means she should be thinking along the lines of how her cousin dresses etc. My answer is always that easy child should dress how she feels comfortable and in ways she feels reflect her personality and character. Thankfully she's learning to embrace her teen girl side from a view I agree with because we'd have been in for some rough years if she was after the look my niece is after (which by the way is common in not just high schools here but also junior high).

easy child has what I call a balance of what she gets just because, and what she must earn. I do believe in good quality shoes, which unfortunatly means they cost quite a lot. She gets a good quality pair of indoor shoes for school and sports, and a good pair of outdoor ones. Now she's turning into a shoe girl. Not dressy ones but sport ones. So when she sees shoes she wants, she must pay for them herself, outside the two pairs I provide. This often means saving a hundred dollars and at her age that can be a challenge. But she's bought 3 pairs on her own so far and is very excited when she finally gets enough money to go to the store to purchase them. I'm trying to teach her that yes, I'm doing more for her than I ever dreamed of as a kid, but there are limits and she can contribute too.

This year she is in air cadets and about to start piano lessons. Air cadets is very time consuming and requires parents to be free to bring them to all sorts of events such as military awards ceremonies, parades etc. It requires out of town camping trips for survival skill training, out of town trips to parliament to march etc. In return for my support in doing those things, (as well as S/O, her bio dad and step mom) she is now required to contribute to the cost of her piano lessons. Cadets pays for some things, $60 a day for some camp days where they do boot camps etc. Those earnings are to contribute to paying the piano teacher and to purchase new sheet music. We will contribute the balance of the costs along with the cost of piano tunings etc.
Her school work is not allowed to suffer or she will have to forgo the piano lessons to free up time for school work. Period. School cannot suffer for any reason and she knows it.

I haven't even got a cell phone so i'm not providing one for easy child. Nor will her father although he and his wife have phones they rely heavily on. She is 12 and we see no need although it seems nearly all in her class have them, full of texting, internet browsing, unlimited calling etc. I have told her that when she starts babysitting she can choose to have a phone she pays for, her father can add her phone to the plan he and his wife have through their business, so her rate would be very good. But she MUST pay for it herself. If a month comes she can't pay for it, no IOU's will be offered. The phone will go into my care until she can pay the bill. Many parents can't believe that I'd allow her to be out without a cell phone for "emergencies". Umm. She's TWELVE. She walks a block and half to school and home, half the week as the other half she's picked up or dropped off by her dad. Otherwise she's with a parent, and the odd time she goes to the nearby store it is with a friend to go get a treat during a sleepover so she's not alone and its public busy streets. What emergency can happen that can't be handled without paying $60 a month for a phone in her pocket? As she gets older, that will change. But at this age, thats the sum of her life and its beyond my understanding how so many kids have cells so very young. I do see some cases where it is something needed. Kids home alone after school while parents work. Kids who use it to speak to non custodial parents because it eliminates stress with the parents, etc. But why do the others have them just because they're "cool"? I mean, the parents pay those high bills. An older teen who is independently out and about in town is something altogether different. Grade 5-6 kids having iphones in their lockers is just absurd to me.

Overall I think we as parents are facing our own version of what all parents have had to face. Times change and our childrens "time" is different than the "time" we ourselves were raised in. I don't think its really changed much, just the details. I do think that there isn't any reason we can't all find balance. But I do hate to see kids who truly do "have it all" with no expectations of them. I do worry that many older teens and even early 20's aren't realistically prepared for the world. I just don't know if it has not always been that way anyhow each generation. Somehow I think its all versions of the same, just different issues.

The part I worry most about is the burden parents place on themselves. So many parents are caught up in thinking their children must always have the latest things, fads, stuff. They are burning themselves out working or going broke paying for, all these things they think the kids must have. I think the saddest part of what I see going on in society today is parents who do so much for their children (much not needed anyhow) that they lose themselves. I have always believed the best gift one can give their children is to allow their children to see them reaping them rewards of their hard work and sacrifice. Kids learn a lot when they see their parents work hard and save long for something really special they want. Now most parents are no longer doing that for themselves, they are working to get their kids new computer or money for costly sports or vacations to dream places that the KIDS want to go to etc. Heck, easy child's friends can't believe the NERVE of me and S/O to be going on a honeymoon without HER. Truly! Many of her friends parents married when they were older and they went on the honeymoon too, Disney resorts, Cuba etc. Well that's fine for a family holiday. But a honeymoon? Nerve of me? Bwaa haa haa. I told easy child that she can look forward to her own honeymoon when she gets married. And if she has kids before marriage, I'll gladly babysit grands while she honeymoons. And I told her I'll buy her a cool gift on my trip. Bring her with me on my honeymoon? Ummm, NO!

Speaking of "NO", I could go on and on about how rarely that word comes out of parents mouths now. Or how it leads to "negotiations". OMG. No. No. No. I'm good at it. If it's no, it's no. Discussion over.

 

[Marcie Mac]

This thread reminds me of the grandparents stories about how they "Had to walk 20 miles in the snow,uphill, shoeless" to get to school every day.

The world is changing, I don't think for the better, but change it will. The kids of the Victorian era burst out of it, much to their parents despair, the kids of the 50's burst out of that era in the 60's and 70's, much to their parents despair. The kids of the 80's are so advanced in technology, much to their parents despair.

I didn't like my kids to drink soda when they were little (especially Danny) - not because it was an "adult" thing to do, but it wasn't good for them. I think a lot of people are 'programmed' into adult stuff vrs kids stuff when they were growing up, and the world doesn't work that way anymore. Kids nowdays are so much advanced than they were in the 50's when I was growing up. And its not helping you have those absurd pagents where little girls are forced to show off the wares they don't even have yet - makes me wonder where these booty babies will end up 10 or 15 years from now.

Marcie

 

[InsaneCdn]

I think a lot of it comes from the media and from companies trying to sell their products to younger and younger consumers. Don't know the solution but I sure see the problem.

The solution is simple, but it ain't gonna happen.
If all parents banded together and got rid of exposure to the entertainment industry - we'd all be better off.
But there aren't very many adults who are willing to go that far in giving up their own wants for the needs of the next generation.

 

[DammitJanet]

Gosh Martha...look at that guy Elvis! The world is going to hell in a hand basket!!!

If all these kids keep looking at those hips, the world will never be the same!

Gimme my bible.

 

[AnnieO]

...Which of course brings to mind the quote...

Where are we going? And... Why am I in this basket?

 

[Mattsmom277]

roflmao Too funny! Remember the uproar about the early madonna lyrics and videos?

 

[DaisyFace]

Well, in my humble opinion, it is not that some things are "adult"...

It is that our society is built on the principle of a hierarchy. There are those who are in charge, those who are next in command, and so on down the line until you get to the folks at the bottom.

The reason we create "adult" priviledges and "child" priviledges in our homes is to establish a hierarchy of our own....and teach children their place in society. We want our children to learn to respect those that are in charge: parents, teachers, etc. And we want children to learn that they must earn their way to the next level.

When parents opt not to have separate priviledges for adults, it blurs the lines between those in charge and those not in charge. It removes the incentive to work toward the next level. This is the same problem with "everyone gets a trophy" - you remove the line between the winners and the losers...the team at the "top" and the team at the "bottom" become equalized.

What is the point of effort if we are already all at the same level? It becomes a "de-incentive" to personal growth...