What books do you recommend?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by runawaybunny, Mar 2, 2011.

  1. runawaybunny

    runawaybunny Guest

    Our recommended books list was posted by Fran in 2003: http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/f7/recommended-book-list-2/

    Guess I should update that list pretty soon :) and our bookstore too.

    Please share your book recommendations here. Parenting books are most important but all topics and fiction recommendations are welcome and will be greatly appreciated.
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I can't recall the exact title, but it was either Walking on Eggshells, or Stop Walking on Eggshells. Excellent book, down to earth, doesn't bog you down in medical jargon but does let you get a realistic view into the mind of someone with borderline disorder.
  3. runawaybunny

    runawaybunny Guest

    Was it this one Hound dog? Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder by Paul T. Mason , Randi Kreger

    This one was helpful for me: When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us: Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting on with Our Lives by Jane Adams
  4. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I second the Walking on Eggshells recommendation. I got even more out of the excellent follow-up book by Randi Kreger: The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tools and Techniques to Stop Walking on Eggshells.

    I also highly recommend:
    Yes, Your Teen is Crazy!: Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind by Michael Bradley

    Setting Boundaries(TM) with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents by Allison Bottke

    The Bipolar Child: The Definitive and Reassuring Guide to Childhood's Most Misunderstood Disorder by Demitri Papolos

    On an unrelated subject, but one I found very enlightening:
    Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft

    It helped me understand more about abusive relationships and the "mind" of an abuser more than I ever have before. I read this when I was dealing with my Youngest dating an extremely abusive young man (who ended up being my grandson's father). If you know someone in an abusive relationship, or have ever been in one yourself (raising hand), I think it's an important read.

    Edit: I almost forgot two books that I have read and re-read. Both by Melody Beattie.

    Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

    Beyond Codependency and Getting Better all the Time
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Parenting Your Kids with Love and Logic, Parenting Teens with Love and Logic etc...

    The Out of Sync Child by Carol Stock Kranowitz - excellent resource on Sensory Integration Disorder but can weigh you down with the technical language.

    The Out of Sync Child Has Fun - Kranowitz - Excellent - Activities to provide the sensory diet that helps Sensory Integration Disorder (SID). Each activity lists what senses it stimulates (proprioceptive etc...), ways to change it, any safety issues/need for supervision on various steps. Also lists ways to make the activities less expensive, to find less expensive sources for needed items, etc...

    The first OOSC book tells you what Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) is, how it affects your child, what the therapies are, how and why they work, plus some ideas for providing the elements of the sensory diet. The second OOSC book, the Has Fun book, gives things to actually DO to provide the sensory diet in ways that are affordable, realistic, adaptable and most importantly - FUN. The activities are not just for the child with Sensory Integration Disorder (SID), they are enjoyable for almost everyone. I have found that using them with a class of kids, where practical and reasonable, can provide a child with sensory issues some time to enjoy a game or art project or other activity while still fitting in with the other kids. I have used several of them during class parties and ALL the kids enjoyed them - and NONE of them thought they were "special" activities designed to include the differently abled kids. They just thought they were FUN.

    (it can be hard to explain the different functions of each book to parents, so I thought that this might be helpful to put with the description of the books. If I ahve explained them incorrectly or they can be reworded to be more clear or whatever, that is fine. Or if the description needs to be cut out, it is no big deal.)

    She's Gonna Blow: Real Help for Moms Dealing with Anger by Julie Ann Barnhill - Practical ways for Moms to handle anger. Doesn't just tell you what to do when you are angry and why. This book helps you identify the physical signs that you are getting angry. We hear how damaging it can be to our kids when we to blow up at them, but most of us need some practical step by step directions to learn to see it coming before it hits us full steam. This books is Christian faith-based but the basic tools for identifying and handling anger can be applied in the framework of most religiions or without a religious framework at all. At least it worked that way for me.

    Zapp! The Lightning of Empowerment by Wm Byham and J Cox This book is written for managers to learn how to inspire employees to improve productivity. It has specific strategies designed to help you encourage responsibility, acknowledgment, and creativity so that employees feel they "own" their jobs. Our households can be looked at as "mini-businesses" and the general ideas and strategies of this book can be used to encourage our family members to take responsibility for the jobs that must be done around the house. Part of it is giving them some creativity and the power to make some basic decisions about the tools used to do the job. I can explain this more if asked - my mom used this kind of thing with the chores we did when I was growing up.

    Eloise - The Ultimate Edition by Kay Thompson. My go-to book when I need a mini vacation back to a simpler time. When I grow up I want to be Eloise. So did my grandma.
  6. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I Hate You - Don't Leave Me by Jerold Kreisman, understanding borderline personality disorder.

  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Yes that's the one Cheryl! Very good book. Gave me much needed insight into Nichole's distorted view of reality at the time. Very very helpful.
  8. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    The Bible - I don't think it ever made the list - but I think there's a lot of wisdom in it.

    Feeling Good - David D. Burns, M.D. - (Clinically proven drug-free treatment for depression) I used this for myself while on anti-depressants and therapy.

    How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk - Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish - (Effective communication with your child or anyone and how to practice it daily) you should have this book and read it before you give birth - it's like a parenting bible of how to talk to a kid.

    How to Talk So Teems Will Listen & Listen So Teens Will Talk - Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish (As above but for teens and parents)

    Mapping - Hellams, Ph.D., LPC, NBCCH, DAPA & Schreiber, M.A., LPC, NBCCH, CTS, NCC - A course in theoretical foundation for being an eclectic practitioner -For therapists.
    Speaks about changing behaviors in people through therapy. Lots of 'psychologist talk' and not an easy read. Mostly laymens terms.
  9. 4timmy

    4timmy New Member

    This is a great list. There's another one I would recommend called "My Quirky Kid".

    Has anyone read Dr. Phil's book "Self Matters"???

    Also, his son wrote one for teens. Anyone?
  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm a big fan of Rick Lavoie's books. I saw him speak in SF several years ago, and got his book, "It's So Much Work To Be Your Friend!" I've followed his practical wisdom for years; my favorite saying of his is "Prepare the child for the situation and the situation for the child." This is why we always took Miss KT on a tour of the campus, found her classrooms, etc. even when she started at community college!

    If you haven't seen F.A.T. City Workshop, also by Rick Lavoie, check it out. It's close on 40 years old now, but has stuck with me. It offers a fascinating insight into how some of our children think, and how a traditional education is not always the best for them.
  11. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

  12. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    One of the best books I've read on attachment disorder ~ Learning the Dance of Attachment by Holly van Gulden

    Parenting the Hurt Child by Gregory Keck

    The Love & Logic Books

    These are books I used in parenting my severely traumatized & attachment disordered children. I have probably a dozen more on attachment disorder & likely twice that amount on parenting the traumatized children.

    Saying the above, the knowledge & wisdom provided in the above books is beyond pale ~ it's the children & their ability to internalize any therapy, any interventions that makes our difficult children successful.
  13. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Look Me In the Eye - John Elder Robison (if you're familiar with Running With Scissors, this is written by the older brother that left home before most of that happened)

    I Want to be Like You - Travis Breeding

    Both are first-person written by guys who grew up with undiagnosed Asperger's. An interesting look into their struggles and thought patterns from youth to adulthood and diagnosis.

    Counseling the Gifted and Talented - Linda Kreger Silverman

    One of the single most helpful books I have ever picked up in my life and I need yet another copy of it. Everything from how they think, to the ins and outs of sensory issues, a great help in understanding gifted kids or in my case understanding myself when I found it (and can't say it hasn't helped me understand Kiddo, too). I first saw this book in my early 20s and it cleared up a lot of mysteries for me.

    Edit: Wow the price has gone up! My first copy was $25 and it was new!
  14. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    This isn't a "help" book but a novel, however, it really accurately conveys the mind of an Aspie. "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night." After reading it my daughter said "Oh, now I get oldest boy!" I think the author is Mark Hatton or something like that.
  15. compassion

    compassion Member

    Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder: A Family Guide for Healing and Change by Valerie Porr

    This is excellent and just out in 2010 and applicable to many situations.