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What can we do while awaiting referral
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<blockquote data-quote="LittleDudesMom" data-source="post: 629642" data-attributes="member: 805"><p>I second Wiped Out's reply. The Explosive Child is a great read and good first place to explore the different thinking of our challenging kids. Additionally, a referral from school is also great place to start -- but it is just the beginning. </p><p></p><p>If you are in the US, the whole school process can take up to 90 days to carryout before things begin to change. There is the initial evaluation process, then you would have a meeting to discuss the results and to determine eligibility for services. At that meeting, you will usually discuss beginning the IEP process, then the IEP has to be written, then signed off and implemented. It can take 3 or 4 months to get things moving along. A suggestion would be to accept and request ALL the tests the school can do, social, educational, psychological....You need to see if there are any learning issues that might contribute to her behavior as well (that was definitely the case when my difficult child was 8).</p><p></p><p>It sounds as if you have not had your daughter formally seen by anyone other than her pediatrician. You may want to begin by speaking with her doctor for a referral to a child psychologist or psychiatrist or neuro psychiatrist. Let her pediatrician know what is going on. </p><p></p><p>Were your daughter to be diagnosed with ADHD from an outside source before the school evaluation is complete, it might be enough to get her on a 504 plan before a formal IEP can be written. That's what we did with my son and it definitely helped to have some accommodations in place at the beginning because it lessened everyone's stress level. School Special Education departments/administrators vary in their desire and ability to work with our gigs. In theory, our children are guaranteed the right to the same education as undiagnosed typical students. In reality, it doesn't always work smoothly.</p><p></p><p>Arm yourself with knowledge. If you are in the US, go to the wrights law website and read up on your family's rights when it comes to education. Being forearmed is the best!</p><p></p><p>Meanwhile, read the book and begin to implement some of the trade off "discipline" techniques (basket issues). Be consistent with your behavior expectations and let your daughter know ahead of time what you expect and follow through - no idle threats made in moments of exasperation, i.e., "We are going to the grocer. I expect you to listen and behave. If you talk back, whine, or misbehave, you will loose TV privileges (or whatever) tonight. Do you understand?" It is best to speak to them on eye level, calmly and make sure she understands the directions. If, when you are out, she does what you told her not to do, don't get upset or frustrated. Everyone has seen kids melt down before. Yours won't be the first. Stay calm and carry on. When you get in the car or back to the house let her know, "Before we left I told you what I needed you to do and you misbehaved. There will be no tv tonight." Don't engage in her tantrums. Go on about your business and she will eventually see that you do mean business.</p><p></p><p>I think the most important thing to realize is that very often our children, especially when they are young, cannot process their emotions, frustrations, or disorders so they manifest with difficult behaviors. As they begin to mature, things can often change for the best. But when they are very young, it's challenging. Staying calm and not engaging in their drama is the best advise I can give. Many of our children also physically manifest when they are building to those moments. I was always able to "see it coming". Most often I could ward off the raging with my son by deflection, distraction, or telling him we needed a little space and he and I would both go somewhere quiet. It gave him the chance to calm without distraction. When our kids are in school, it's almost impossible for teachers, who are dealing with 20some other kids, to see it building before it bursts free!</p><p></p><p>Good luck.</p><p></p><p>Sharon</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LittleDudesMom, post: 629642, member: 805"] I second Wiped Out's reply. The Explosive Child is a great read and good first place to explore the different thinking of our challenging kids. Additionally, a referral from school is also great place to start -- but it is just the beginning. If you are in the US, the whole school process can take up to 90 days to carryout before things begin to change. There is the initial evaluation process, then you would have a meeting to discuss the results and to determine eligibility for services. At that meeting, you will usually discuss beginning the IEP process, then the IEP has to be written, then signed off and implemented. It can take 3 or 4 months to get things moving along. A suggestion would be to accept and request ALL the tests the school can do, social, educational, psychological....You need to see if there are any learning issues that might contribute to her behavior as well (that was definitely the case when my difficult child was 8). It sounds as if you have not had your daughter formally seen by anyone other than her pediatrician. You may want to begin by speaking with her doctor for a referral to a child psychologist or psychiatrist or neuro psychiatrist. Let her pediatrician know what is going on. Were your daughter to be diagnosed with ADHD from an outside source before the school evaluation is complete, it might be enough to get her on a 504 plan before a formal IEP can be written. That's what we did with my son and it definitely helped to have some accommodations in place at the beginning because it lessened everyone's stress level. School Special Education departments/administrators vary in their desire and ability to work with our gigs. In theory, our children are guaranteed the right to the same education as undiagnosed typical students. In reality, it doesn't always work smoothly. Arm yourself with knowledge. If you are in the US, go to the wrights law website and read up on your family's rights when it comes to education. Being forearmed is the best! Meanwhile, read the book and begin to implement some of the trade off "discipline" techniques (basket issues). Be consistent with your behavior expectations and let your daughter know ahead of time what you expect and follow through - no idle threats made in moments of exasperation, i.e., "We are going to the grocer. I expect you to listen and behave. If you talk back, whine, or misbehave, you will loose TV privileges (or whatever) tonight. Do you understand?" It is best to speak to them on eye level, calmly and make sure she understands the directions. If, when you are out, she does what you told her not to do, don't get upset or frustrated. Everyone has seen kids melt down before. Yours won't be the first. Stay calm and carry on. When you get in the car or back to the house let her know, "Before we left I told you what I needed you to do and you misbehaved. There will be no tv tonight." Don't engage in her tantrums. Go on about your business and she will eventually see that you do mean business. I think the most important thing to realize is that very often our children, especially when they are young, cannot process their emotions, frustrations, or disorders so they manifest with difficult behaviors. As they begin to mature, things can often change for the best. But when they are very young, it's challenging. Staying calm and not engaging in their drama is the best advise I can give. Many of our children also physically manifest when they are building to those moments. I was always able to "see it coming". Most often I could ward off the raging with my son by deflection, distraction, or telling him we needed a little space and he and I would both go somewhere quiet. It gave him the chance to calm without distraction. When our kids are in school, it's almost impossible for teachers, who are dealing with 20some other kids, to see it building before it bursts free! Good luck. Sharon [/QUOTE]
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