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What choices do I have? Seeking Advice.
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 695621" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Follow what slsh has said. In addition, get an attorney to help you because this can be a legal maze with little help and confusing and circular rules. If the hospital insists on discharging him before you can find funding, you NEED an attorney to help you. I would refuse to pick him up, and this can lead to the state pressing charges against you for neglect or abandonment. in my humble opinion the charges are absurd, because you are not attempting to neglect or abandon him, you are attempting to get him treatment and keep the rest of the family and community safe. </p><p></p><p>One thing that might help is if you can get child protective services to see that evaluation and say it is dangerous to bring him home. Then they are FORCED to help you. It can be hard but insist they put it in writing if they say this. Or send a letter per slsh guidelines backing up the conversation.</p><p></p><p>I found funding shortly before we decided to let my son go to my parents, and to let that funding be used to help another boy. I got it by calling with a short synopsis of the problem to everyone who I thought MIGHT know of a program or placement that could help. In the hours my kids were at school over 2 days, I filled a legal pad with people I spoke to. I not only asked them if they knew of a program/placement, I asked them if they knew of anyone who MIGHT know of a program/placement. I got an acquaintance who knew my son and his potential, if he got the help he needed, to speak to a friend who ran a very highly regarded boys home about an hour away. He arranged scholarship and other funding sources due to this, and to his belief that a mom who did all that work, made all those calls and who could still cry because she felt her son slipping away deserved help. I started with the Reverend of a local church where my children attended and took ANY lead anyone could give me. If I got an answering machine, I left a message AND called back in 2 hours or so. I also spoke to the Resource Officer at the local jr high. He sort of got into trouble for helping me because he gave me a list of programs and phone numbers that he had in his files. No one told him not to give it out to people, parents or otherwise. A higher ranking officer called and demanded it back, so I gave it, but I already had not only scanned it into my hard drive but printed multiple copies and given them to our therapist (who was shocked at the list - she had not heard of most of them and she was by far NOT new to her practice or the area), a pastor of a different church who had been helping me, and a friend who worked at the local youth shelter. I never did tell the officer that I handed the list out - which probably saved the Resource Officer's position.</p><p></p><p>So if you can, speak to everyone you know. You may not find help in your state. Often help for this is very specialized and you have to travel to find the best placement for your child, not just the closest one. If NOTHING else comes to mind, you might try that place in Dallas that Dr. Phil speaks so highly of, the neuroplasticity place. I am sure you can find some link to it on his website. Treating sexual issues in a young man, esp one with autism and other issues, can be very difficult. So be sure to go for the best option you can find. </p><p></p><p>If nothing else, and you are too frazzled to research who to call and how to find them, send me a PM and include where you live and I will try to do some research to find who to call in your area to find the funding, based on the things that slsh recommended. I can honestly say that she is one of the BEST at finding funding and forcing it out of the various organizations who are there to take care of these problems. I have long been in total awe of the way she was able to find funding for her son to get help. She NEVER took "sorry, we cannot help you" from them, she found ways to use the law to FORCE them to help her. So her guidelines/roadmap/suggestions for this are the absolute gold standard in my opinion.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 695621, member: 1233"] Follow what slsh has said. In addition, get an attorney to help you because this can be a legal maze with little help and confusing and circular rules. If the hospital insists on discharging him before you can find funding, you NEED an attorney to help you. I would refuse to pick him up, and this can lead to the state pressing charges against you for neglect or abandonment. in my humble opinion the charges are absurd, because you are not attempting to neglect or abandon him, you are attempting to get him treatment and keep the rest of the family and community safe. One thing that might help is if you can get child protective services to see that evaluation and say it is dangerous to bring him home. Then they are FORCED to help you. It can be hard but insist they put it in writing if they say this. Or send a letter per slsh guidelines backing up the conversation. I found funding shortly before we decided to let my son go to my parents, and to let that funding be used to help another boy. I got it by calling with a short synopsis of the problem to everyone who I thought MIGHT know of a program or placement that could help. In the hours my kids were at school over 2 days, I filled a legal pad with people I spoke to. I not only asked them if they knew of a program/placement, I asked them if they knew of anyone who MIGHT know of a program/placement. I got an acquaintance who knew my son and his potential, if he got the help he needed, to speak to a friend who ran a very highly regarded boys home about an hour away. He arranged scholarship and other funding sources due to this, and to his belief that a mom who did all that work, made all those calls and who could still cry because she felt her son slipping away deserved help. I started with the Reverend of a local church where my children attended and took ANY lead anyone could give me. If I got an answering machine, I left a message AND called back in 2 hours or so. I also spoke to the Resource Officer at the local jr high. He sort of got into trouble for helping me because he gave me a list of programs and phone numbers that he had in his files. No one told him not to give it out to people, parents or otherwise. A higher ranking officer called and demanded it back, so I gave it, but I already had not only scanned it into my hard drive but printed multiple copies and given them to our therapist (who was shocked at the list - she had not heard of most of them and she was by far NOT new to her practice or the area), a pastor of a different church who had been helping me, and a friend who worked at the local youth shelter. I never did tell the officer that I handed the list out - which probably saved the Resource Officer's position. So if you can, speak to everyone you know. You may not find help in your state. Often help for this is very specialized and you have to travel to find the best placement for your child, not just the closest one. If NOTHING else comes to mind, you might try that place in Dallas that Dr. Phil speaks so highly of, the neuroplasticity place. I am sure you can find some link to it on his website. Treating sexual issues in a young man, esp one with autism and other issues, can be very difficult. So be sure to go for the best option you can find. If nothing else, and you are too frazzled to research who to call and how to find them, send me a PM and include where you live and I will try to do some research to find who to call in your area to find the funding, based on the things that slsh recommended. I can honestly say that she is one of the BEST at finding funding and forcing it out of the various organizations who are there to take care of these problems. I have long been in total awe of the way she was able to find funding for her son to get help. She NEVER took "sorry, we cannot help you" from them, she found ways to use the law to FORCE them to help her. So her guidelines/roadmap/suggestions for this are the absolute gold standard in my opinion. [/QUOTE]
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