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What do I do? Need advise
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 661101" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>At your age, since you have a nice husband, I'd put him way first. Your son is not anywhere near a kid and is not going to change if you get the truck. I'd forget it and support your husband. Your son may have been a sweet little boy (most kids are sweet and cute) but he is a total grown up now hitting his later years and not that sweet little boy. It helps to stop thihking of him as your little boy and remembering that he is a grown man who has never been responsible.</p><p></p><p>You gave him the truck so it was a gift. What happens now is really none of your business. Let it go. Let him go to either make some sort of life for himself on his own or be a drug addict until the end. You can't do anything for him. You do in my opinion owe love and loyalty to your husband who has put up with this for so long and needs a break. You do too.</p><p></p><p>I'd stop accepting jail house calls. </p><p></p><p>If you don't live your life now, you will regret it and nothing good will change for your middle age son if you do things for him. So I'd enjoy my husband and the rest of my life. You've wasted enough years trying to help him. For what? He is the same.</p><p></p><p>I hope you do go on some nice trip with your husband and it wouldn't hurt to move far away to some wonderful place and relax. Your job as a mommy is long over. It's your son's choice to live his life any way he wants to now, but he should not expect you to get involved in it in any way. Dysfunctional men usually are with dysfunctional wives or ex wives so it is no surprise that she is also dysfunctional but, in the end, these are their problems, not yours.</p><p></p><p>Not your curcus, not your monkey. I bought a shirt that says just that on it and I bought it when it was a popular saying here on the forum. I'm wearing it today, of all things <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> It reminds me. My only business is my own and the drama others bring upon themselves..they own it, not me, even if they are my grown kids.</p><p></p><p>I hope you can walk away from this. It is time to do it and retire in peace. You said your hub has health issues. You don't want him to have a heart attack from worrying about either your broken heart or his son. Stress is a killer.</p><p></p><p>Good luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 661101, member: 1550"] At your age, since you have a nice husband, I'd put him way first. Your son is not anywhere near a kid and is not going to change if you get the truck. I'd forget it and support your husband. Your son may have been a sweet little boy (most kids are sweet and cute) but he is a total grown up now hitting his later years and not that sweet little boy. It helps to stop thihking of him as your little boy and remembering that he is a grown man who has never been responsible. You gave him the truck so it was a gift. What happens now is really none of your business. Let it go. Let him go to either make some sort of life for himself on his own or be a drug addict until the end. You can't do anything for him. You do in my opinion owe love and loyalty to your husband who has put up with this for so long and needs a break. You do too. I'd stop accepting jail house calls. If you don't live your life now, you will regret it and nothing good will change for your middle age son if you do things for him. So I'd enjoy my husband and the rest of my life. You've wasted enough years trying to help him. For what? He is the same. I hope you do go on some nice trip with your husband and it wouldn't hurt to move far away to some wonderful place and relax. Your job as a mommy is long over. It's your son's choice to live his life any way he wants to now, but he should not expect you to get involved in it in any way. Dysfunctional men usually are with dysfunctional wives or ex wives so it is no surprise that she is also dysfunctional but, in the end, these are their problems, not yours. Not your curcus, not your monkey. I bought a shirt that says just that on it and I bought it when it was a popular saying here on the forum. I'm wearing it today, of all things :) It reminds me. My only business is my own and the drama others bring upon themselves..they own it, not me, even if they are my grown kids. I hope you can walk away from this. It is time to do it and retire in peace. You said your hub has health issues. You don't want him to have a heart attack from worrying about either your broken heart or his son. Stress is a killer. Good luck! [/QUOTE]
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