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What do you do when you put adult son in rehab with their bills?
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 728551" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>I'm so sorry for the anguish you are feeling. It's the worst kind of pain to watch our adult children spiral out of control but please understand, you cannot rescue him. At 23 he has a really good chance of turning things around. Nothing for him will change until he chooses to change it.</p><p>You have to do what you are comfortable doing but really think about it before you act. Take some time to step back, do some slow deep breathing and once your spirit is calm, then look at what you are wanting to do for him.</p><p>One of the hardest lessons to learn is that "helping isn't always helping" Of course we don't want to see our children suffer or struggle but it's through the suffering and struggling that they grow.</p><p>Don't be too quick to swoop in and take care of things for him. Offer him suggestions of what he needs to do and go from there. It can be too easy for us as parents to go in and take control without realizing that we are not allowing our children to suffer natural consequences of the choices they have made.</p><p>It is a delicate balancing act for sure. </p><p>I know you are scared but there are many of us who have been where you are and our children have managed to get through their trials.</p><p>Hang in there and let us know how things are going.</p><p>((HUGS))..................</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 728551, member: 18516"] I'm so sorry for the anguish you are feeling. It's the worst kind of pain to watch our adult children spiral out of control but please understand, you cannot rescue him. At 23 he has a really good chance of turning things around. Nothing for him will change until he chooses to change it. You have to do what you are comfortable doing but really think about it before you act. Take some time to step back, do some slow deep breathing and once your spirit is calm, then look at what you are wanting to do for him. One of the hardest lessons to learn is that "helping isn't always helping" Of course we don't want to see our children suffer or struggle but it's through the suffering and struggling that they grow. Don't be too quick to swoop in and take care of things for him. Offer him suggestions of what he needs to do and go from there. It can be too easy for us as parents to go in and take control without realizing that we are not allowing our children to suffer natural consequences of the choices they have made. It is a delicate balancing act for sure. I know you are scared but there are many of us who have been where you are and our children have managed to get through their trials. Hang in there and let us know how things are going. ((HUGS)).................. [/QUOTE]
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What do you do when you put adult son in rehab with their bills?
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