What do you tell them at work?

[idohope]

Hi,

I will be having my annual review with my supervisor this week. She is very supportive of her workers and family issues. difficult child has been so difficult for the last year. I have definitely cut back my productivity at work but am still considered a good employee (used to be a super employee!). I have a lot of freedom and work at home several days per week and can mostly make my own schedule. I am very senior and my job is very secure (for which I am most grateful).

We plan to start difficult child on medications within a month (finally got husband on board). She will be highly resistant. I think this may trigger a hospitalization. Between Tdocs for husband and I and easy child 1 and now psychiatrist we already do multiple appointments a week that come out of my work time. I have to schedule these mostly when difficult child is in school/camp as it is too hard to get sitters.

I would welcome thoughts/experiences on how much info I should give my boss in advance or at the time if I need days or weeks off from work. Some days I think it would be good to let my boss know that I am dealing with serious issues at home (perhaps just letting her know that one of my kids has a chronic illness and that I need time for doctor appts etc) and other times I think I should not say anything and keep muddling along and "keeping up the facade".

Thanks for any input.

 

[klmno]

one of my kids has a chronic illness and that I need time for doctor appts etc

I think that's a good idea, then don't go into detail or talk about it a long time (which could lead someone to believe that you can't concentrate due to this being on your mind). I have lost more than one job due to difficult child issues arising unexpectedly and taking too much time from work to deal with them. But before it's to that point, it is preferable to tell an employer why your productiivity drops or why you can't put extra hours into the job right now, etc., rather than have someone assume something even worse.

 

[judi]

I'm probably going to catch some flak for this opinion, but the less they know, the better for you.

 

[AnnieO]

They do not need details (personal experience says so). Chronic illness is good.

I have had to unexpectedly take time off when Onyxx went berserk at school (bit a teacher last fall), was suicidal (after being banned from the mall for sexual acting out), to go to court (when husband's truck died and she HAD to be there)... And so on. In fact I left early one day last fall due to my own meltdown, which was partially due to difficult child-induced stress. It's just better all round if they know little.

 

[trinityroyal]

I agree. "Chronic illness" is probably all you need to tell them.

I think the information that your employer really needs is relating to your availability, absences from work, etc., and not so much the details of the illness that is causing your schedule upheaval. If you can make contingency plans, give your boss a bit of lead-time where possible, work with a co-worker or two to ensure that your work is covered and that you cover for them when possible, and other similar strategies to ensure that your work doesn't fall behind, then I think you'll be fine.