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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 694294" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Cedar, thank you so much for your response.</p><p> This is true. I think to myself, if I go and visit her at the park, bring canned goods, am I buying into her lifestyle? I am also reminded that when she has come to the house, she helps herself to our supplies without asking. It is disrespectful, feeling entitled.</p><p> it is painful, Cedar. Rain is not a child, she is near 37. I have been dealing with this for 20 years now. Yes, there is a reason for this path, I feel that I can't trust her, or myself for that matter. It is because I fall for it too easy, the hope that maybe this time, it will be different, times the infinite "this time" we have tried.......So yes, the path that I have chosen is as Maya Angelou spoke "When people show you who they are, believe them." So, I think for now, I will continue to sit with my feelings and do what I need to do to take care of my business. In the meantime, if Rain enters rehab, or starts to show me differently, I can <em>proceed with caution</em>. When Blossom goes to see Rain, she has her very large husband with her. I have to remind Blossom and myself that Rain has loomed over me menacingly, that she is unstable on meth and that the park where she is, is not a safe place for me to be.</p><p> I am glad that they are able to speak now, and see one another. They are very close in age, and were best friends growing up. Perhaps this bond will help Rain find her way to different choices.</p><p> Thank you Cedar. I do need all of the strength I can muster. I don't want to ever sink to the despair I felt over my two. It is a grieving of the hardest sort. That, coupled wth grieving hubs passing is just too, too much. So, I will keep my guard up and focus on the home front. Blossom will have to be okay with my sitting with my feelings for now. I do have support from Hoku, she is adamantly against the notion. She has witnessed much more than Blossom. Son is not cozy with the idea as well.</p><p>It is up to me to choose what I will do. But, there is time to think it through. If one thing I have learned from dealing with this for so long, and from my time spent here, is that I need to take care of <em>me</em>. Because I matter. My peace of mind matters.</p><p>Thank you Cedar, very much.</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 694294, member: 19522"] Cedar, thank you so much for your response. This is true. I think to myself, if I go and visit her at the park, bring canned goods, am I buying into her lifestyle? I am also reminded that when she has come to the house, she helps herself to our supplies without asking. It is disrespectful, feeling entitled. it is painful, Cedar. Rain is not a child, she is near 37. I have been dealing with this for 20 years now. Yes, there is a reason for this path, I feel that I can't trust her, or myself for that matter. It is because I fall for it too easy, the hope that maybe this time, it will be different, times the infinite "this time" we have tried.......So yes, the path that I have chosen is as Maya Angelou spoke "When people show you who they are, believe them." So, I think for now, I will continue to sit with my feelings and do what I need to do to take care of my business. In the meantime, if Rain enters rehab, or starts to show me differently, I can [I]proceed with caution[/I]. When Blossom goes to see Rain, she has her very large husband with her. I have to remind Blossom and myself that Rain has loomed over me menacingly, that she is unstable on meth and that the park where she is, is not a safe place for me to be. I am glad that they are able to speak now, and see one another. They are very close in age, and were best friends growing up. Perhaps this bond will help Rain find her way to different choices. Thank you Cedar. I do need all of the strength I can muster. I don't want to ever sink to the despair I felt over my two. It is a grieving of the hardest sort. That, coupled wth grieving hubs passing is just too, too much. So, I will keep my guard up and focus on the home front. Blossom will have to be okay with my sitting with my feelings for now. I do have support from Hoku, she is adamantly against the notion. She has witnessed much more than Blossom. Son is not cozy with the idea as well. It is up to me to choose what I will do. But, there is time to think it through. If one thing I have learned from dealing with this for so long, and from my time spent here, is that I need to take care of [I]me[/I]. Because I matter. My peace of mind matters. Thank you Cedar, very much. Leafy [/QUOTE]
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