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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 694366" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>New Leaf, just a few thoughts in concert with what others have said.</p><p></p><p>Listen to your own instincts. Even if they are confusing. Danger and love. You are feeling danger in getting involved with her---rightly so---and love for her and wanting to honor your husband. Of course both are true. </p><p></p><p>It's interesting that Blossom is reaching out for Rain. Not Rain. This is triangulation, of course. In a softer sense, it is advocacy. But it in no way signals that Rain is ready or different or will respond in any type of healthy way. That is dangerous. For you. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>If you want to do something here, and boy do I understand that impulse...wait a day or two and then construct something like this that provides several layers of protection for you.</p><p></p><p>No direct contact. But allows you to say your piece (in a letter) and do SOMETHING in your husband's name.</p><p></p><p>But if you don't right now, that is good too. </p><p></p><p>I would be very cautious and wary and self-protective. I know you are very strong and have a lot of good recovery under your belt, but you are also vulnerable in your profound grief. You don't need any more grief right now or pain or drama or bs.</p><p></p><p>Take care of YOU first. Protect YOU first. You are #1 here. Supremo. </p><p></p><p>We're here for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 694366, member: 17542"] New Leaf, just a few thoughts in concert with what others have said. Listen to your own instincts. Even if they are confusing. Danger and love. You are feeling danger in getting involved with her---rightly so---and love for her and wanting to honor your husband. Of course both are true. It's interesting that Blossom is reaching out for Rain. Not Rain. This is triangulation, of course. In a softer sense, it is advocacy. But it in no way signals that Rain is ready or different or will respond in any type of healthy way. That is dangerous. For you. If you want to do something here, and boy do I understand that impulse...wait a day or two and then construct something like this that provides several layers of protection for you. No direct contact. But allows you to say your piece (in a letter) and do SOMETHING in your husband's name. But if you don't right now, that is good too. I would be very cautious and wary and self-protective. I know you are very strong and have a lot of good recovery under your belt, but you are also vulnerable in your profound grief. You don't need any more grief right now or pain or drama or bs. Take care of YOU first. Protect YOU first. You are #1 here. Supremo. We're here for you. [/QUOTE]
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